Matthew 14:22-32 Jesus walks on the water. And when they (Jesus and Peter) climb into the boat, the wind died down. There was no mention of a storm as Jesus was walking on the water until Peter got out and started to walk towards him. Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

Jesus was on his way in peace, because peace moves within and without Jesus. Scriptures declare, the peace of God which surpasses all understanding(Philippians 4:7). And here is Jesus trying to teach the disciples that they also can have this ability, if they would only believe, not just to walk on the water, but also to be able to control their mind.

Peter was not just doubtful, but afraid and so was all the other disciples on the boat. They all brought the storm.

There’s something about being in the presence of Jesus. If like me, you’ve ever had what seems like a dream or vision of be in the presence of Jesus, there’s  an everlasting feeling of love, peace and joy that radiates from him to you that is out of this world. Like an energy that draws you in, but in a good way, like ecstasy and your spirit wants you to remain in that state. You understand why so many people would drop whatever they were doing to follow him. He’s like an magnet, you can’t help but be drawn to him. Now I could understand why both men and women was drawn to him and why those who opposed him wanted to kill him.

Jesus loves to feed you. The first thing he did was prepared a table before me and invited me to sit, eat and drink while he spoke. There’s something about rice, bread, fish, wine and water he’d prepare. When you finish speaking and eating, you can feel it within your spirit, you’ll never be the same. You’ll have the kind of love and patience for all of humanity and God creations like never before, good or bad. You no longer see color, religion, or ethnicity of people. Your spiritual eyes will open and you’d see all people deeply in need of salvation no matter what they’ve done. You’ll have compassion and love for them with no judgement, but mercy for them all.

So if you’ve seen Jesus even the way you see the world and understand it changes. Nothing definitely wouldn’t be the same for you. You learn not to worry when the spirit moves you to do anything. No more temptations inside of you to take matters into your own hands, especially your willingness to believe you can fight for him like Peter when he drew the sword and cut of the ear of the soldiers (John 18:10) You begin to understand that the battle is His and you have to stand still and see his salvation. Move only when he tells you to not because some how you think you can do His job better  than Him. Jesus understands people are sinners and He knows just what to do about it. After all he became us and took on sin for us all.

Being who God has called you to be can be challenging especially with the unseen opposition(devil). Whenever you are called by God it is for you to be a world changer. You are marked for greatness, but become a target for the adversary the devil.

God has always looked around in the world searching out for all the simpleton to use for his glory.

Thou shalt not covet started in the beginning with Cain toward his brother Abel (Genesis 4:1-9) God said in verse 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it. After this saying Cain killed his brother. Why? He wanted God to accept his offering as he did his brother Abel. But what Cain failed to realized is that his brother wasn’t wasting his energy and time looking over his shoulder at what he was doing, but was concentrating on doing the will of God and giving his all to it.

Next Jacob and Esau Genesis 25:29-34 Jacob stay at home cooking, unlike Esau his older brother who was a skillful hunter, a man of the open country. Jacob thought  he can manipulate his brother Esau into selling him his birthright due to him coming in from the feild hungry and exhausted. Made him swear to him for bread and lentil stew. Esau swear and ate and drank. Jacob didn’t stop there with him, in Genesis 27 he goes in to his father and pretends to be Esau and steals his brother’s blessing from his father. It’s preached that the mother is the instigater behind this deception she may have just been in the right place at the right time to carry out what Jacob had already wanted or maybe even discussed with her about doing. Jacob mother Rebekah wasn’t mentioned when he made Esau swear to give him his birthright.

To make a long story short what Jacob had done became a curse unto him. His brother found out that he stool his birthright and now also his blessing. Like Cain, Esau wanted to kill his brother, but after his father death. Then he had to run away  leave his mom and dad, from his brother’s anger towards him.  He then went to his uncle to take a wife  and the same thing he did to his brother and father was done unto him by his uncle who was now angry at him. Then now he had to run from his uncle on the left and had no way to run to this time beside God, because his brother Esau was on the right coming after him in anger also. Question is, should a blessing become a curse? Why did Jacob had to go through all that he did to get what was rightfully his anyway. Genesis 25:22-26 In the womb they were struggling and the younger Jacob coming out  of the womb held on to the elder Esau heel. God predicted to their mother what was going to be their future, the elder shall serve the younger, like the angel Gabriel told the Virgin Mary about the birth of Jesus.

Jacob lesson was for him to come to the knowledge of being truthful and righteous, accepting himself for who he was created to be, after wrestling with what was believe to be a man all night till he tells him his name. God had already given him the prediction when he started his journey and took stones and made it a pillow for him to sleep. Genesis 28:11-22 In verse 13 and 15 God revealed himself to Jacob. And Jaccob situation with with his uncle and brother draw him closer to God in that his faith delivered him from both their anger towards him.

Jacob didn’t have to covet his brother, he was already his own individual. Genesis 32:24:30 Where he wrestled with what was believed to be a man who changed his name from Jacob to Israel, which mean, you wrestled with God and with men, and you have won (Genesis 32:28). Genesis 32:30 Jacob said,” I have seen God face to face, and I am still alive.”

What is the lesson for us all, coveting someone else can be nothing but trouble. When something is for you nothing and no one can be against you, Romans 8:31 If the shoes is to big for your feet, eventually it will fall off or even cause you to fall. God help you if it is to small, the pain it will cause for you to put it on and try to walk in it. Hey! “the glass slippers was only meant for Cinderella.”

Everthing that’s in the dark must come to light. Why are we so suprised about what is going on in Hollywood today regarding the allegations of sexual abuse and all kinds of misconduct especially toward women? At least they are not afraid of coming forth today and making a claim of abuse, not even children. One thing we all have to remember is there’s nothing new under the sun. These things has been happening for what seems like forever. People just never had the freedom, protection or rights to come forth with such allegations.

Whenever one thinks of Hollywood, it’s all about stardom and fortune. But behind-the-scenes of all that there’s a dark side to it, unspeakable horrors, the price many who are desperate and vulnerable pay. Sexual misconduct, drugs, alcohol, depression, anxieties, and abuse of power by those who are in the authority to make or break the careers of desperate and vulnerable seekers of fame and fortune.

I speak of Hollywood, but it is really all about the fame and fortune and it doesn’t matter whether you’re an actor, musicians, dancer, singer, model, director, producer, an agent whatever’s associated with fame and fortune. If you are not grounded or anchored in your faith you can be led into temptation to sin your soul. And if you have no foundation of faith, tenacity, resilience there’s a price you going to pay one way or the other to the detrimental to your well being if not careful and it can be long lasting.

Now I understand why the it is written in the Bible, “seek first the kingdom of God and all things would be added to you” Matthew 6:33 When we seek God like we seek fame and fortune we would never find ourselves being in an compromising position of our well being and can be assured that all our needs will be met without worry or hurt.

Sodom and Gomorrah was not about homosexuality and being Transgender. It was about people who has the ability to choose to do that which is righteous and good, but they rather be evil than good for their own selfish ambitions. They were like the hereditary generation of the people in the day of Noah.

There should be no condemnation or judgement against the alleged people in Hollywood who when they were young made mistakes and is no longer doing what they used to do having recognized it to be wrong and have changed their ways for the greater good. 1 Corinthians 13:11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man/woman, I put away childish things. But the accused authority figures who used their positions to take advantage of the desperate and vulnerable and use their authority to try and manipulate them into doing whatever they command them to do to advance their careers and is continuing in this way is wrong and nothing but evil.

The entertainment industry has to be the one targeted, because it is seen by the masses. It is like being high looking down, but remember the higher you are the harder you fall, especially when all eyes is on you world wide. God wants whatever is in the light of the world to be righteous and good. It is judgement day for all man especially the stars, if you want to continue to shine. God is dimming the light of the glowing industry, Hollywood. He want the glowing light to be a righteous light to shine on truth, not to cover up deceit. Matthew 5:16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may se your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

Everything in the world has to start representing the goodness of God. It would be no longer said, be in the world but not as the world. Romans 12:2 Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. The world is going become as God has created it to be before the the eating of the forbidden fruit, Eden (PARADISE)

When all has failed you, who else can you turn to but God? Matthew 8:24 The disciples were afraid that they were going to die in a storm while Jesus was in the boat sleeping. But look how lucky they were to have had direct access to Jesus to wake him up by crying out, and right away he calmed the storm by rebuking it. Wait a minute when Jesus awoke instead of being panicked and troubled the first thing he said was, “why are you fearful, oh you of little faith.” What an example of faith!

The fear was real and even though the disciples knew Jesus was capable of performing great miracles. Jesus was tempted for forty days by the devil after he was baptized by John. Matthew 3:13-17, 4:1-11 But what has caused the target on Jesus by the devil was Matthew 3:16-17 As soon as Jesus was baptized,  he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the spirit of God descending like a dove and a lighting on him and a voice from heaven said,”This is my son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” The devil has always been after Jesus in one way or the other all his life, but I believe God’s declaration of Jesus was the key to the devil demise for all to hear. You see Jesus over came the devil in the wilderness so now he came after the disciples to get to Jesus.

What really is the storm in our lives? It is the struggles within and around us we refuse to rebuke like Jesus did in Mark 4:39 And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, “Peace be still,” and the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. Jesus says we can do this by faith. But yet we say it’s hard to trust God in a storm. Many times we find ourselves in a storm and like the disciples Jesus is right there in it with us, even when the fear is real, when we can’t rebuke the storm do like the disciples wake up Jesus by praying and meditating in the word; having great faith. But what Jesus really taught us is to be still and know that God is God, to stand in faith with bold assurance Psalm 46:1-11 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth be removed, and the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea, though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof…

Only when you’re in the storm you can truly feel the fear and anxiety it causes. Remember nothing last for ever after the rain the sun will shine again, so this too will pass God is always in control, have faith.

Peter was among the first of the disciples called during Jesus’ ministry. He became the first apostle ordained by Jesus and he worked as a fisherman in Bethsaida. He was named Simon, Barjona. He was a trong-willed, impulsive and used bad words. Peter met Jesus through his brother Andrew, who followed Jesus after John proclaimed him to be the Lamb of God. Jesus named Simon, Cephas which in Aramaic means Peter, which is Greek for the rock.

Peter left everything behind to follow Jesus, even his marriage and his job as a fisherman. He was one of the first to confess Jesus was the Christ. A natural leader, despite all of his imperfections and having several failings in his life, he was the spokesman for all the disciples.

He was part of the inner circle of Christ; being one of the only three that Jesus reveals all his secrets to and was up close and personal with him. Peter saw Jesus perform all kind of miracles and unbelievable things, like raising Jairus’ daughter from  death (Mark 5:35-42), witnessing Jesus’ transfiguration(Matthew1:1-2) etc.

Peter was impulsive; when he saw Jesus walking on the water, he left the security of the boat to walk on the water to meet Jesus and fell in. He rebuked Jesus for speaking of his death and boasted that he would never deny Jesus, which he did three times. He also wanted to build a church on the mount of transfiguration to honor Moses and Elijah. It is said that he was the one who drew the sword in the garden of Gethsamane and cut off the ear of the soldier of the High Priest. Matthew14:28-28, 16:22, 17:4, 26:33 John18:10

After Peter had showed himself to be impulsive, imperfect and having denied Jesus, he was ashamed. The resurrected Jesus called for him(Mark 16:7) to hear the good news. He restored Peters’ brokenness(John 21:6-15-17) and ordained him. On the day of Pentecost, Peter was once again the leader of the disciples and he spoke to the crowd (Acts2:14) Peter began his work with bold assurance. He healed and preached; the frustration, fear and anger no longer had a hold on him. Being arrested, beaten and threatened didn’t stop him from doing the will of God.

Peter, through, Christ opened the church to all people not just to the Jews, but the Gentiles also (Acts 10). At first, he resisted when God spoke to him on the roof top concerning Cornelius the Gentile. Peter was the first to conclude that God doesn’t show favoritism. I was moved in my spirit by the fact that it took a single touch from the Divine to make an imperfect and impulsive man that was filled with so much anger change his attitude. On the rooftop, this time Peters’ impulsiveness didn’t control him and he did the will of God.

By many standards, Peter would not be suited for the Kingdom. But Jesus saw what was not visible to man in Peter, a vessel for God that, once filled, will no long have a hollow sound. Peter, I understand why you were a curser and a fighter, called impulsive and imperfect and having many failures in your life. You had what it took to be a leader and a warrior, but it took Jesus’ life and death to train and tame you for your kingdom position. When we proclaim to be a vessel of God we must have the right heart and mind, which Peter did. Peter was passionate and committed. Peter sincerely meant what he said and did with good intentions.

Mark 14:27 Jesus said to his disciples, “all you shall be offended because of me this night, for it is written, I will smite the shepherd, and the sheep shall be scattered.” When Peter who just saw Jesus taken away, I understand it to be his anger and frustration that made him deny Christ. Here is Peter, the only one of the disciples to reveal that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God, the Messiah, who saw all the miracles and unbelievable things Jesus was capable of doing from in his inner circle and was being exposed to his secrets as well. What do you do when the one you look up to like a hero allows himself to be taken away without a fight knowing his abilities and struggling to figure out why wouldn’t he do something, anything to stop it? Jesus called Peter Satan for pleading with him not to go to Jerusalem and be killed, when he walked on the water and fell into it because he was afraid, told him he had little faith, and then rebuked him for cutting the ear off the soldiers when trying to defend, and protect him. Jesus had shown Peter his power and might and yet in the time of his need did nothing. All the other disciples ran away because of fear. Peter was fearful also, “yes” because he couldn’t understand why Jesus wasn’t fighting back or even doing something to break free. I believe he was thinking to himself does Jesus know that they are all in it together? Whatever is happening to him is going to affect those who are with him, who love and care for him.

The lesson I believe Jesus wanted Peter to learn is to know when to use his power and what to use it for, because Jesus used his to help others not himself, “humility.” Matthew 16:24 Jesus said, “anyone who wants to follow me has to deny himself, and take up his cross and follow me.”

Some people can only be strong when they know that they are not alone in the battle. Unity is strength and power especially having great support with you, like Jesus. But he had to stand alone. Jesus was the strength of the disciples, he was the pillar, rock, and foundation. When Jesus was taken away everyone that followed him crumbled, even someone like Peter the great warrior.

 

I was once ignorant myself to the Ministries today that seem to be very wealthy and still believe that there are some churches that are selling God for profit. But I do believe that they will be exposed for their wrongs sooner or later. Scriptures tell us not to take the name of the Lord our God in vain and that God is not to be mocked, so when we say God or call on Him we better be doing it in spirit and truth, because woah unto whom so ever does it you shall be exposed.

I’ve come to the knowledge of this because of a Bishop to whom I love and respect and trust very much now. It took nine years yes, but I can say with bold assurance cause I’ve tested and tried everything about this man in the spirit by fasting and praying to God. I know without a doubt he is the real deal a loving, compassionate, honest, kind hearted, merciful; a true man of God and is surrounded by people just like himself. I don’t know him personally, but I am connect to him spiritually. And he is the second man in the world I’ve ever been connected to in such a way, I see beyond the man but his soul and spirit.

I’ve always asked for the spirit of discernment and truth, because my heart has lead me in some bad situations especially when it came to trusting people. I was always led down the wrong path by people, my innocence tested. So I put on the wisdom of discernment and truth and walk in faith trusting no one but God himself asking the right questions like  is it wrong to be a Christian and rich? I waited for the right responses. I was led by the Holy spirit to search the scriptures. 1Timothy 6:1-10, 17-18 Teaches about false teaching and true riches. We  must all agree to the teaching of Jesus Christ and not be swollen up with pride and yet know nothing, having an unhealthy desire to argue and quarrel about words that bring on jealousy, disputes, insults, evil suspicions, and constant arguments from people whose minds are corrupt, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain. Godliness with contentment is great gain. We brought nothing into the world and we can take nothing out of it. If we have food and clothing, we should be content with that. Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will store up for themselves a treasure which will be a solid foundation for the future. And then they will be able to win the life which is true life. Matthew 6:24 No one can be a slave of two masters; he will hate one and love the other; he will be loyal to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. Matthew 6:33 Seek you first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you. What things you ask? To first understand this phrases you have to read Matthew 6:25-33 Jesus said, don’t worry about your life, what you should eat, drink or wear God would provide for you just as he does the birds, flowers and grass. 1King 3:13God said to Solomon, “I will give you what you have not asked for-both wealth and honor so that in your lifetime you will have no equal among kings.” God had given Solomon because he didn’t ask for wealth, honor, revenge on his enemies or long life, he asked for a wise and discerning heart. God blessed Solomon.

For all the people who are complaining about the wealthy ministries in todays world, have to read your bible and gotten educated about the true wealth, which is the wealth given by God? Proverb 10:22 The blessing of the Lord brings wealth, without painful toil for it. Psalm 112: 1-3 Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who find great delight in his commands. Their children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. Wealth and riches are in their house, and their righteousness endures. forever. Anything that God doesn’t bless doesn’t prosper, especially using him for evil gain. No matter how long it seems to last it would be  exposed for what it is all about and be destroyed. God cannot be mocked neither his name be taken in vain.

Luke 12:15 Watch out and guard yourselves from every kind of greed, because a person’s true life is not made up of the things he owns, no matter how rich he may be, Jesus said. Psalm 62:10 If riches increase set not your heart upon them.

I do believe that if anyone has wealth yet has no love according to scripture you have nothing. What profit a man that he gains the whole world and loses his soul? Those who are on the Lord side there light will shine and shine in the righteousness of God himself and those who are not shall be destroyed in one way or the other.

Many are called but few are chosen scripture says(Matthew 22:14) I believe I  was chosen because like the majority of all the main characters of the Bible I had a real life experience with God, just like Moses, I needed real proof and I got it.

1Peter 4:11 If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God; if any minister, let him do it as of the ability which God giveth, that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever. Amen KJV

Some people go through troubles before they know God. Well I went through it for being in His presence because I was born knowing Him. I was never lost or confused about if He was or was not, I just knew He is, but it was amplified when I stood in His presence and His light affected me all over that like Moses and I began to shine. But when I realized that I was in the world and not of the world, everything changed. I started praying every three hours, fasting and prophesying. I was like a Daniel and I also had dreams and visions. I saw things and knew thing. Today as it stands everything I knew and saw decades ago and prophesy has and is every day coming to pass. I had abilities beyond normal human abilities and the first was to discern true men and women of God and the churches.

I believed for the longest time that it was my disobedience that got me in many  afflictions in my life which could have been avoided and boy was I ever afflicted. Everything that I loved and cared about was touched and I blamed myself to the point of me getting emotional and physically sick  which lead to my understanding of  Mental illness where I found myself as one that said, “it could never happen to me, but did.” Fear also became one of the driving forces behind what I believe to have been my disobedience as well as powers and principalities that I was fighting. It took me uprooting my family and moving to another province or state as called to realize that I had nothing to do with me not proceeding in my calling, it was God who pulled me out from where I was which was not good for me and when I came to the understanding to stop blaming myself and to trust he is in control and has been, of my life. I couldn’t go back to the old ways but here’s what I should do to still do what I was doing before, just practice until I am where he wants me to be in my strength to fight. I had to be still and silent until he saw it fit and ready for me to come forth again in his strength.

And while I was waiting, I was watching and praying and I would look at what I call, with no disrespect, textbook reader floaters, which to me means book sense but no spiritual sense talking about a God they never encountered, had a relationship with but is just reading and being taught on how to minister. I was told when you’re spiritually taught then you’re well taught. Today being in ministry is a billion dollar business, it’s a way to carry it on to the next generations so everyone is beginning to see it as a money making institution. It stirred my spirit because I couldn’t understand that just by them reading and being taught is enough for them to believe. It would take a miracle or troubles in their life for them to have faith, I thought to myself, what if they knew what I knew and saw what I saw, heard what I heard and felt what I felt and had dreams and visions and then put it together with the word of God? What would they do with that knowledge? I know it seems like I am being judgemental, but I was just asking a question and being argumentative to God for making it seem so easy for others yet it must be so hard on me and I would hear, “to whom much is given much is required” I don’t want to hear that, I want to be like every body. Because I dive in deep, and I mean so deep, where the Holy ghost is the oxygen needed to breath and function. When I am ready to fly with the knowledge received once again it is the Holy ghost that carries me to the highest heights. I was always looking to find someone like me, who is led only by the Holy ghost, and told you have no other choice.

Decades of fasting and praying opened the door to a spiritual connection to God that any questions I asked of God, He always answers me, and I mean always. To call my blog site Oracle of Divinity describe my intermittent relationship and connection with the almighty in all humility as my eyes have opened to see and my ears to hear, my mouth to speak and my lame feet that began to walk in his path of insight to all his truth and righteousness not as I see, but as He allows me to, and it is powerful sometimes even too much. People, we really don’t want to hear the truth, because it would disrupt everything we thought in our minds, and seen as well as believed to be our truth. The only way to describe it is to die and come back and try to tell others what took place when you died.

 

 

 

I don’t have time to argue and fight over what religion is right or wrong. I’ve been seeking through the understanding of all religions and I realized it took a long time for me to get to where I am in  my faith after become one with them, can you say the same for yourself?

In my search, or should I say understanding, I learned that no matter what religion or form of practice of faith, we are all searching for the one thing, “proof and truth of the living God, higher power or whatever we want to call it.” And we all believe that our faith is the right one. I believe it is all true, because it is your faith that makes it true Matthew 17:20 If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, “move from here to there and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” So if I want to believe in a statue, pendent, beads, mountain top, building, a book or whatever by may faith, I make it true.

It had all began with the relationship between Adam and God until temptation entered by the devil when Eve and Adam ate the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden, we had then known who the one and true God was to us. After we were lost, torn apart from God and confused because of our disobedience to the word of our father who said,not to eat of the tree of good and evil for we shall truly die(Genesis 2:17). From then on everything went down hill for all of humanity in our connection, our relationship, even to our knowledge of God has far been removed, just like it is for some of us today. So we had no other choice but to search for him without wisdom, knowledge  or understanding in every aspect of our lives. We started out with all the other Gods after the fall of Adam and Eve, but eventually coming to the knowledge of the one and true God through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus.

I believe it to be all part of God’s plan to allow so many faiths to exist and at each level you climb in the wisdom, knowledge and understanding of him whom you seek as I have by practicing other faiths, to reaching such a high level of understanding that it is God, not the devil or man who he himself has created, that we are seeking and calling out to. God is a creator of diversity and difference; and he can find beauty in it all even in bad which only he himself can understand, he didn’t make all look the same, speak the same language, think the same and all other things we do. It is for us to understand this, that is why we shouldn’t have eaten the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil in which was too much for us to handle. Think of it this way  babies shouldn’t be eating grown-up foods only milk because their stomachs can’t digest it and they have no teeth.

Don’t be fooled God can understand everything even to all languages and faiths, to all the ignorant people out there who believe he only understands theirs. So no need to fight and argue among ourselves regarding who is right because he is in control and will bring all of us together. It is just a matter of time and the whole truth nothing but the truth will be revealed.

 

Being born Christian, I am saying being born because I have always known that I was. I always tried to live my life according to the things taught in the church and written in the Bible. I wanted so much to live a Christian life and tried so hard, but it seemed to have all been in vain. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to get it right any and everything went wrong. I always felt like the Psalm 51:5 of David, “Behold, I was shaped in iniquity and in sin did my mother conceive me. I love God and I want to go to heaven when I die. It has always been in my spirit to fight to live righteously according to the word of God. My greatest fear was sinning, and knowingly doing so.

I never wanted to confront the devil or ever be in his path. It has always been a fear of mine, but yet, he found a way to get to me through out my entire life. Many times I’ve wondered when did it all start and why? I believe myself to be a good, caring and loving person. I would never intentionally hurt some. I truly believe in do unto others as you’d like them to do unto you and follow the way of Jesus.

I have a wonderful relationship with God. I do believe, he has been my imaginary friend all my life. And like any relationship, we have little arguments. I know I am a work in progress so I make mistakes, but because I know he is omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient, creator of everything our God, my question to God has  always been, “why, why would he allow bad things to happen, and why would he have even created good and evil, why?” I wish that evil never exist. That Adam and Eve had never eaten the apple.

The eleventh of December 2016 I had a dream I was face to face with Satan(the devil) and for some reason I knew it was him right away. I called him by his name Lucifer morning star also know as little horn. He then answered me when I called him by his name and much to my amazement he is an angel that looked like a beaming light with features and his facial appearance is like that of Santa Clause, beard and everything. I always thought the he would look more like a monster, but he didn’t. Right away he said to me, ” a monstrous thing never comes looking like a monster to scare you away, when trying to draw you near. God created beauty and ugly; blessed are you when you have them both. He told me that no longer can he possess us, unless we invite him in and allow him, that it is written in scriptures, “resist the devil and he will flee from you” James 4:7. Never for a moment believe that the life of Jesus, his birth, death and resurrection didn’t change anything. He said, ” I along with you who had sinned against God we’re the prodigal son, just remember my conversation with God in the book of Job when I went into Gods presence with the other angels (Job 1:6-12) where I ask God to torment Job and his family to see if he would curse God. That this story belongs to all God’s chosen people not just Job and his family even to this generation.” He still wants to know how much we have faith and trust in God if he torments us. He understands who God truly is, but we don’t. Even though God in our understanding is omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent, he is still trying to process who we are. Arrogance came from Satan most definitely. He was so proud to tell me he is an spiritual being like all the other angels, was once a light and now has been dimmed, he can still shine, only through our temptations, weakness. doubt and fears that leads us to sin.

He spoke about us giving him too much credit for all the evil in the world, when we are the ones who have a problem dealing with the knowledge of good and evil. We are the ones who must now after Jesus presence be able to conquer what was planted in us in the garden of Eden. He did proclaimed that the hour of Jesus’s death when the earth had quaked was when the battle between him and Jesus had began until his resurrection as we should understand Jesus won the battle, but the war had just begun. Not with him, but what had been let go on man through temptation which is causing the war. It is us human beings who need to go through what we must because without afflictions in our lives we are never happy, neither would we know to draw nearer to God as some of us do in the midst of adversities, and we would be bored.

He claims to be rectified with God and is changed, but humanity is forever changing like the season. He calls himself thunder for that is his purpose and we are lightening. Together the two things that changed the course of God’s creation, God has pulled us together for a reason to make us together like him, we are Gods.

He stated what seem to be prophetic Peace and tranquility belongs for Heaven and in Heaven. Peace and tranquility is for those who believes in Jesus Christ it is extended to you from Heaven through Christ.

After speaking to me so nicely he turned into that thing that I had expected him to be in the first place, a monster. My attitude was to fight him I didn’t care how nice he pretended to be and looked I was expecting this. He’d looked like the monster Michael Jackson turned into in his video Ghost and said, “are you scared yet?” I didn’t waver I wanted to fight him so badly. All I visualized in my mind was Jesus and him fighting like two brothers going at it physically with each other and there entered into my hand a flaming sword and he vanished, I was not about to back down. Then the dream changed.

It was like being on a train everything was moving on the outside very fast like traveling in a train. On the train I saw a pot on a stove, I went to take the pot off the stove and like a magnet something pulled it to the floor and I could not get it back up on the stove. When I looked up from trying to pull the pot back on the stove to see if anyone was around and was seeing what was going on. I saw a woman, little girl, boy and a man just appearing out of nowhere like if I am not on a train anymore and this is happening like a movie playing right in front of me as I am trying to pull this pot from being stuck to the floor. The woman took a boy child kissed and left the little girl as she hurried off somewhere. As for the man I had no idea what became of him. I saw this lady that came out of nowhere, who told me she was waiting for them to ring the door open so we can get in the light. What door I thought to myself still believing I was on the train, but the light turned on then I woke up out the dream.

My husband told me all night I was talking and fighting in my dreams. It was five twenty am in the morning as I awoke and wrote this. Before I could get out of bed I started praying like I never prayed before.

I could never understood why all this time I spend being afraid and scared of the devil. This has been a sword in my spirit causing me not go forward in my life to what GOD has called me to be, my purpose and destiny was compromised by my fears. I never understood why all this time I was so afraid all the time of the devil, which is the thing that supposed to have devastated me the most with his temptations to lead me down the wrong path, with anything that he’d used to get to me. I felt for the first time in my life I was going to fight back with all my might even to my dying last breath, tired of being afraid and terrified by everything.

“Why did the devil come to me? I kept asking myself.” I believe it’s because I told God I was fed up of this life and I don’t know why he keeps bring me back from the dead when I feel like I am serving no purpose at least that’s what it felts like to me. I knew certain things I’ve asked God for he’s always granted it to me, even some he didn’t. I consider myself to be blessed and contended to the point that even though money is a problem when not in abundance to do all the things  I’d want to God always hears and answers my prayers. Whenever  I go into deep meditation and retreat myself from the world, God gives me knowledgeable answers in dreams and visions. I never had to ask God if there was a devil because I knew we as human beings were battling something we don’t understand because why does bad things keep happening even when you are good?

The devil was the last puzzle to the creation story. He was also created for a purpose. I had to confront the greatest mystery of God’s creation the wisdom of knowledge of good and evil. I knew I believed in God but the devil, no. To find out that he also is a spirit and can fool us if we’re not careful and discerning was scary. I couldn’t confront everything in my life if I wasn’t willing to confront my greatest fears, to be an overcomer in Christ’s army I confronted everything else that was good and righteous that was easy for me to except and hold fast to, but evil I’d refused to have any path with whatsoever, not realizing it is the balance in this life. Trying to be perfect and righteous in this world is not possible at all without God wanting it so.

This world is ruled by the odds and I am even. To me, if you are odd you fit right in the world, but being even condemns you to being perfect and truthful in a world that’s not. You have to be odd; top heavy bottom light or opposite. We can only strive to be even.

I was so angry at God, I believe that Satan showed up for me. It seems like his plans were to recruit me for all my backsliding. I was angry enough to believe that being good isn’t worth it anymore fed up of the wickedness in the world and hated and distrust my fellow man, but he was only there to put me right in a sense with understanding of evil in the world and not to blame God.