Twenty-three years ago I finally decided to go on a retreat to connect with the Almighty. My frustrations with religions( is there really a right and true one) my spirituality and all the unanswered questions about God. One day I had a vision of Love, there’s no other way to describe it. It was about love, forgiveness, patience, mercy, compassion, sacrifice, understanding, wisdom and knowledge. When you’d think about the goodness of God which is within each and everyone of us being created in His image, we can possess it if we choose. That is how she appeared to me, Queen of all Queens, Mary the mother of Jesus, to whom I believed had no importance other than she’s the mother of Jesus.

To make a long story short, after communicating with her I no longer feel that way. Mother Mary took her crown of heaven, crown of the earth and crown of the crucific, placed it on my head and handed the infant Jesus in my arms saying that I am her and she’s me, just as God has entrusted her with Jesus, she also enstrusts me with all God’s children. Whenever you believe you’re not worthy, God says yes you are. It is said we are saved by grace, Ephesians 2:8. But there’s a grace we possess within ourselves through the Holy ghost that enables us to walk, speak and do the impossible, that Mary had, not just favour.

Everyone wants to be a queen, not me. The only thing I could think of is the saying by William Shakespeare “Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.” Luke 12:48 From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. Luke 14:11 For everyone who exalts him or herself will be humble, and the one who humbles themselves will be exalted.Remember Moses in Exodus 4 trying to convince God he was not the man for the job to deliver God’s people out of bondage, I felt that same way.

When God calls you out, you are set apart from the ordinary. It is not you that is the alien or strange, it is the world and it systems of things contrary to the will of God or should I say the way things rightfully should’ve been before man sinned. When God puts a light in you, you can run, but you can’t hide, people always find you out. That light exposes you and then you wonder why so much oppositions from the enemy. For this light that should be for a blessing turns out to be a curse. It is one thing to be envied and jealoused by strangers, but like Joesph in Genesis 37 when he told his family about his dream. Sad, but it can creep into your own family and friends. For the crown of Mary, I have suffered like Joseph. And it is sad because people who don’t know my story assume with the title Empress that I am egotisitical, calling attention on myself. If only it was so. In carrying out my duties, many times I’ve stumbled in more ways than ever, but if it hadn’t been for the Lord who’s on my side. God kept me and is never letting me go, no matter what, as it is said, ” being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ.” Philipians 1:6 I don’t like lying so I would never call myself something I am not. The truth is I love my peace and quiet, don’t want to be noticeable.

Being Empress is not to impress man, but to be a servant of God.

Luke 15:11-32 The Parable of the Prodigal Son, Jesus spoke this story to his disciples about a father who has two sons, a younger and an older. The younger son asked his father for his inheritance( I call his free will), and the father grants his son’s request, without a complaint or a waring of impending doom. The father didn’t whipped his son with threaths like some people do to win souls fo Christ. The father let the son go in faith. The younger son took his inheritance and squandered it( like what many of us do with the free will we are given and uses it for our own bad and selfih ambitions), eventually becoming destitute. In Luke 15:17 Finally he came to himself… It wasn’t written that the son not only came to himself alone, but by the father’s faith, the thing that cannot be seen, that connection in his spirit, the image of his father he was created in burst through within his soul as a reminder to who he is and where he came from. Knowing now that his actions and behavior was wrong and it profit him nothing; he now has to return to his father in humility excepting the fact his father never fought him, but allowed him to go when he had everything he need already, excepting his curiosity of the world without his father discipline and guidance. Before he could reach his father in Luke 15:20 “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him, he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” The younger son confessed to the Father that he has sinned against him and his father didn’t dignify it with an answer, but his called for the servant to bring his son the best rob(a covering for the shame he felf) a ring on his finger (covenant between them) and a sandals for his feet(protection for whatever path he walks). The father gifted and blessed his son, not just because he returned home, but he knew why he had returned home “for if it hadn’t been for the Lord” that’s why the father had the celebration it was a thanks giving for his son being alive and of sound mind.

The older son who was out in the field( about his father business working) returned home to no celebration for him. After all he wasn’t being selfish when he got his inheritance and left his father. He stayed and continued to work for and with his father. He refused to enter the feast for his brother(Luke 15:25-30). But, understand who would ever think by doing what is believed to be right and noble, seems to be a bad thing when those who do wrong seems to get so much attention and blessings. It’s like the Jesus with the sinners and not the Pharisee, the Jews and the Gentile, working all day to get paid as someone who worked for an hour or to find out all that you thought you were doing as a Christian according to what you interpret about the Bible is wrong to you even prosecuting and condemning people. It would be like the older brother make you angry to go into a celebration for them also.

The father explanation for his action towards the younger brother is he was, dead but now alive again Luke 15:32 he was only celebrating his son finding his way, by realizing that what he believe that would bring him happiness was only short lived and instead devastation. The fact that he pleaded with his older son to come into the celebration and all that he has is his also, because he is always with him Luke 15:31. This show the Father was showing no favoritism that his concerns was about both his son’s and they are very important to him despite their differences in the choices they made for their lives.

The Prodigal son, this parable explains to us that as human beings not two of us are the same even though we are siblings and family. The love of God for us is, like that of being a parent. A parent loves and care for their children despite their inadequacy. No matter what they do as long as they understand that home has a revolving door when the world has gotten to hard. But one thing return home with humility, gratitude and respect. The son didn’t return home with the same attitude he left with. Life had thought him there’s no place like home, the safe place where you’re guided, protected, taught and cared for.

Genesis 2:7 Then the Lord God formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed the breath of life into him and he became a living being. The breath (spirit) is for eternity, but the form (flesh) temporary. In the beginning God poured his spirit into man and like a tear drop, it trickled down through out our soul. We can’t even begin to imagine from that drop, the power we were given, created in his image. This is how God is inside each and everyone of us and why we can be considered a God ourselves, Psalm 82:6, John 10:34.

We know now that the power of God works in us and through us, that’s how we intercede for others as well as to help ourselves. The power is ignited by connection, having a relationships with God. This connection has only been broken when Adam and Eve was tempted by the devil to eat the forbidden fruit in Genesis 3 and mankind has been struggling to regain it. We must understand through the life death and resurrection of Jesus this connection, this relationship is our choice through faith.

We were formed of the dust in the beginning and through Jesus we were reborn through water, fire and the Holy ghost. What power we possess with this triple blessing. We are taken from the dust to water, fire and the Holy ghost we are just climbing up the mountain and this is something for us to realize when drawing nearer to the unseen, but yet reachable.

Whenever you encounter someone that can make a difference in your life by helping you out with any situations without them even knowing you, that is God showing up as we can only imagine a loving, caring, merciful and loving being, that’s why we call him, father.

As Father’s day is drawing near in four days this year 2018 I heard a voice say, “write about fathers.” I thought to myself, “what, I am a mother, I can speak from a woman’s point of view as a mother, but a father? This definitely has to come from God himself.” So hear goes something in the name of the Lord Jesus.

Famous fathers of the Bible are Adam, Noah, Job, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David, Zacharias, and Joseph. None can be compared to Joseph, why? Joseph is the earthly father of Jesus the immaculate conception(Luke 1:35). It is very important for all fathers to see themselves in the same position as Joseph when it concerns their children. Your children are not yours, they belong to God. You fathers are here to be in His stead, like Joseph was to Jesus. Understand you have it better than Joseph ever did because of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus, you have the Holy ghost, the comforter, to help you. Adam was formed of dust from the ground(Genesis 2:7) whereby Jesus man and divinity and part man.

So father’s who are you? You are created in His image, but Jesus said something that all who follows him must have this understanding where God is concern. John 14:9-10 “Anyone who has seen me has seen the father. The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work.” Wow! A lot of people miss this very important revelation and teaching. Father’s you are daddy’s when on earth and Father’s when you’re consecrated and connected to God in oneness. To see you should be like Jesus said, is to see God the father. Dad’s you’re supposed to be representing the most high.

Matthew 23:9 Do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. 1 Corinthians 11:3 Realize that the head of every man is Christ. This is to teach you humility you are not a God, but the son. Remember God is always in control so to be a good father is to allow God to direct you path. Being able to acknowledge that sometimes it’s not about you, but you serve a purpose, even if it was for a minute, like an extra in a movie, not being the main character, but to be humble and greatfull for the role you’ve been given no matter how minuscule. In one of the greatest story of the Bible, Joseph being called for such a purpose and being a man, wasn’t popular at all as though being the earthly father of Jesus was not so important.

Joseph was amazing father and man of God Matthew 1:18-25. Much wasn’t mention of him in the bible other than he was a carpenter and he may have had other children, even be a widower. In Matthew 13:55 it was said about Jesus, ” is that not the carpenter’s son? Isn’t his mother’s name Mary, and aren’t his brothers, James, Joseph, simon and Judas?” But one thing about Joseph, he fulfilled his role as a father to Jesus and a husband to Mary in every way, lead by the angel of God from the time he dreamt not to put away Mary quietly when he found out she was pregnant and they had not consummated there relationship. Matthew 1:24 When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him.

Are you fathers doing what you are commanded to do for God? A father can only be a good father when it’s not about himself, and he is present. His role is a big one, equally shared. A father could never be a father without a mother and same goes for being a mother, the roles is shared which brings balance to the entire unification as to what is called family. And let us not forget God!

God has put me here in this world as an individual. Even though I am created in his image and inherited my parents genealogy I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).

As a child going to elementary I used to imagine, just by watching my classmates, what their lives must be like at home. I’d think maybe exactly like mine. It would only be confirmed to me the reality when I’d go for birthday parties or school projects; definitely their lives were nothing like my mine. I had brothers and sisters and some were only childs, I lived in an apartment and they lived in mansions and I was poor and some of them rich. It seemed to me that their lives were much more better than my own, considering I thought their lives were just like mine.

It was then the reality of myself living in a world created especially for me, hit me like a head on collision. My life was completely dysfunctional, when I believed it to be normal. My father left my mother, my mother left myself and siblings after my father left her when I was a baby; i don’t know her at all. He moved to Canada with another woman leaving his wife, my mother, pregnant and alone and when he got to Canada, he got that woman pregnant also who left him when she heard he had to come get his kids who was abandoned by his wife. My father loved women, lots of them all at the same time and he also like beating them (domestc violence). My siblings and I were passed around from our grandma to aunties until my father found a woman bold, patient, loving, caring and understanding to put up with him, his many children form different women and her one child and his verbal and physical abuse. This is just a summary of my world when I’d began to see and understand it as a small child and I believed it to be normal.

I could only imagine some of the untold stories about my parents lives leading up to my conception. I do believed that God had a plan in all the madness of those two worlds coming together. I also realized even though my siblings and I lived in the same so called world because we came from the same parents, both coming together as one seed planted, bloomed into a tree, we’ve all became individual branches with leaves. And this is how my world began individually. I have stories of my own when I woke up out of my childish imagination into adulthood reality.

My world began with being a branch, leaf, then a bud turn into a seed of my own.

Genesis 4:7 “If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” Anyone who’s dealing with sibling rivalry or any kind of family dysfunction should ask themself this question. One day I heard the voice of God talking to me as I was struggling with the cruelty I believed I’ve experienced throughout my life from my love ones. Strangers may have treated me the same way, but it wouldn’t have affected me as much as my family and dear friends. “Just unacceptable, I thought.” The pain and despair I felt was turning me into someone I didn’t know.” For what they had done to me for my love, compassion, mercy and understanding, how could God let them get away with it, I thought?” I wasn’t deserving of the treatment they gave, which partially crippled and buried me with fear, doubt, and hopelessness even depression and mental illness. Like Cain, they would have been better off to have killed me, for their motives toward me was exactly the same as he did towards his brother Abel. In some ways, as I thought about who I use to be compared to who I am today, the real me has truly died. Family should be the foundation in which we stand to go out and face the real world. If you can survive the dysfunctions of family, you can face the world with vigilance, resilient and tenacity.

To be treated unfair and unkind for no apparent reason does something to the mental state of a person. I could see all my flaws, and accept criticism, because it will help me to be and do better. I am also not too prideful to take into consideration advice either. I believe sincerely in treating others exactly what is taught in the Bible when Jesus says, “do unto others, what you’d like done unto you” Luke 6:31. Because of all this, I now suffer with trust issues; always questioning the motives of others. I been lost for so many years and thanks be to God for hearing and answering prayers through his messenger (Bishop Td Jakes) whom I don’t know, but by watching his sermons online has helped me to heal. Td jakes, I’ve always believe God has sent him specificly for me after believing in my spirit I would never trust another man or woman of God, because of having bad experiences. God speaks to me through him for every tears I’ve cried, for the fear and hopelessness I have felt. He may not be a messenger from God to everyone, but for those whom God himself has elected, such as myself. He is the only minister of God that goes to the depth of my soul with his preaching and can pull me out of my despair especially when I feel like giving up. He is the real deal for me, as someone once said about me,”he is the true servant of God, and you can see he does it with love.” I am speaking for myself as for how much he impacted my life. Some people say, “he’s just a man” But so are all the other men of the bible starting from Abraham all the way to Paul, they were all just man, except for Jesus, with an anointing and calling from God to do what they did. There was even a time I had even given up on wanting to serve God if it meant I had to deal with people. Serving God to me was setting up myself for my faith to be like Abel. The devil didn’t make Cain kill his brother, it was Cain way of thinking give way for the devil to possess him. That’s why sometime people can’t always blame the devil, we allow him to walk right in instead of resisting him.

At one point I quit serving God in public and went underground, I call it dimming of my light. I was afraid of the height they saw me climbing with God. My loved ones isn’t whom I would want a fight with, it would be like cutting out my own heart. To be in war you have to be selfish, something I just can’t possess, I care too much about others, especially my loved ones. Your family is not who you choose, but as written in Genesis 4:11-12 you shouldn’t hurt them, because you’ll only curse yourself. Joseph suffered the same thing at the hands of his siblings in Genesis 37. They didn’t kill him, but really wanted to, and instead sold him into slavery. But what give me fresh courage is Genesis 50:20 Joseph replied to his brothers, “As for you, what you intended against me for evil, God intended for good, in order to accomplish a day like this to preserve the lives of many people.” Very powerful! Joseph show himself to be worthy of every blessings he had recieved. He could of been just as evil to his siblings as they were to him. I always considered myself a woman Joseph because like him, for the love and forgiveness he had for his family regardless of how they’ve treated him God favor was always abound with him. I’ve often wondered of the unwritten thoughts and actions of Abel concern Cain. Is it only at the time of his killing he realized then, how much his brother hated him, or was there other signs?

We sometimes fail to realize that whatever we wish, or hold negatively against anyone, especially our love ones, is like faith, which is an energy we possess that we can throw at each other unknowingly. This can also be for good when we pray for someone. Our love is also like faith a very powerful energy.

I use the story of Cain, Abel and Joseph, because it all about jealousy, siblings rivalry and family. I couldn’t help but believe that man fight with the devil is under the same circumstances.

The feud in family is so much more complex because first what is the meaning of family to you? Number one is blood relations, love and expectations as a family unit as it suppose to be from generation pass as the law of loyalty, respect and unity.

Matthew 4:19 “Come, follows Me” Jesus said… Now today, both men and women are in ministry to win souls for Jesus, but are no longer fishers. Today because women is no longer shunned as a preacher and leaders, they’re just as important to the building of the kingdom as the men. If Jesus was to come again he would tell them to come follow him, he will make them mother’s of all, not just children. The men will always remain fishers, because they would forever be taught on how to catch, where by as woman mothering I do believe is not something that can be taught, but comes naturally.

I was created to be a companion, to stand along side him not beneath or above. It was never said he was my equal, or I am his, but in the sight of God we were creat as such, equal, “man”. We talk, walk,work, play and disagree, yet we should be unite with each other in marriage to create(make babies) as God has planned and to defeat the devil(the force against us), to become one body, (flesh), even to connecting as one with God, three in one and one in three. I shouldn’t need to be heard, allowing my character and my illuminated energy ( created in the image of God)to speak for itself. I was created for and from man who, was created from the earth, who was created by God, who created me and is me. God and the earth is like a man and a woman, both together are one. Genesis 2:21-23

God impregnated the earth (metaphroically) to bring forth man just as he did for everything on earth and in the universe. God, parthenogenesis (the virgin birth) this is who created and creation had began with. Because I am woman I know who I am; man (My companion) you don’t intimidate me, we are one, (flesh of my flesh and bone of my bones) Genesis 2:23; Why would you see me as a threat? The holy book of God and man (bible) has been interpreted to give you dominion over me, what is then your great fear? Ephesians 5:22-24

Today March 8, 2018 marks as International woman’s day and I feel the chains falling, the oppression is finally over for woman, we can speak and do, not all things, but somethings just like man. The seed of this understanding has just blossomed recognisable to both men and women alike being planted many generations ago. It couldn’t of come in a more better time such as this where all truth are being revealed, which is called the enlightening time. Nothing is hidden, not a about God, creation and the evolution.

Let us not take this opportunity likely, but use it for positive changes in this century and do not abuse it, for the future of all young women depends on it.

Spiritual maturity comes from the example Jesus showed us toward the Father(God) John10:30 “I and the Father are one.” It is important for us to understand that Jesus being a man to make himself be equal to God is considered blasphemy worth being stoned to death for (John10:33)

When Jesus spoke about him and the Father being one, it is a proclamation of the working of God in and through Him, giving all the glory to God… It was God himself who said, ” This is my beloved son, in whom I am well please” declaring Jesus to be his son.

Mark 10:8 “And the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Genesis 2:24 “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” This here to me reveals the same oneness as the Father God and the Son Jesus, but instead of flesh, spirit. If men and women can have this kind of relationship there would be no divorces. See how God doesn’t need to show himself superior to Jesus, Jesus just submits himself in every way because he understands the truth, love and goodness of God. Jesus is by no means taking credit for his (existence); to God be all the glory, praise and worship. Jesus had the wisdom, knowledge and understanding of that and we should also. God didn’t created us to be robots, do as he commands, neither were we enslaved. It should be the greatest blessing for us to recognise that we have free will.

If, like Jesus, we acknowledge that we are and do all things through God and our relationship is not as an individual, but one, one in heart, mind and spirit, connected. This connectivity leaves no way for control of power, jealousy, hatred or ones ego getting in the way. God is and will always be God and He, Me and We knows it.

Spiritual maturity is also knowing that the wisdom, knowledge and understanding of God cannot be contained or only founded in a building and a book, it is limitless. It is only us as human beings can be, we are merely limited. To think before there were churches or bibles God existed and his word more prevalent in the hearts and minds of men. The word(bible) and the building(church) has become divided, a means of separation between believers in a monotheistic God. “How could you not understand what I am saying?” When there’s so many different denomination of religions, pulling at God and Jesus in many different directions like there’s is more than one God and Jesus. Believing their way is the only and right way; then they have the nerve to say who’s going to hell, like if somehow they’re exempt, and know for sure they are going to heaven, judging and condemning their fellow Christian believers. We cannot forget those who believe in God and yet deny his son came and are still today waiting on him to come.

What does the Bible say about solid food for believers? 1Corinthians 3:2-3 ” I give you milk, not solid food(meat), for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, your are still not ready. Paul was speaking to the Corinthian church that they weren’t yet spiritual to receive the word for their mind was still carnal(worldly). There was jealousy and quarreling among them.

Today some Christians are no different than those people had been; sanctified in Christ Jesus and called to be his holy people; all those everywhere who call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ are yet not ready to eat solid food. Most people can’t help but be carnal(worldly) today because they have yet to receive divine experience( like, Moses, seeing and talking to a burning bush). They repeat word for word the scriptures or something they heard someone else says without proof of there own experiences. To be effective you have to have a testimony of your own.

Some people believes today a good testimony is wealth or some sort of miracles, no! honestly it’s has to begin with the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2). Be in the world, but not of it (John 17:6-19). The things I use to do, I do them no more; for greater is he that is in me than he that is the world(1 John 4:4)

To eat solid food is to be able to be nourished by the word of God not as an enfant that is limited, but as an adult that has no limitations. There’s an old Hymn by William Williams “Guide me, O thou Great Jehovah, feed me till I want no more. The solid food can also mean your level of wisdom, knowledge and understanding of not just the word, but also your relationship with God. Can you still love and praise Him in the bad times, do you trust and believe he’s in control, and are you willing to be a servant, to surrender all for His glory?