“Eli Eli Lena sabachthani” Matthew 27:46 “It is one thing when our flesh cries out to the Lord, but our spirit!” Jesus of all person who said, “to see me is to see the Father, John 14:9. The Father and I are one, John 10:30. I have to asked this question, “what happens to a man that is so deep within his soul, that would cause him to feel like God would ever forsaken him?” It’s like sin itself was awaken to know it wrong to exist within man. With the life and death of Jesus, something has broken loose on the cross concerning sin in man and yet we are unable to recognize and embrace it. All we can say is, “it’s the blood, we plead the blood of Jesus!” The cross is the finishing of what had already started within us through Jesus.

Sin has devoured our strength in and with God. It possesses and take control with no mercy. It broke the connection between God and man a relationship like Adam the first man had with God before eating the forbidden fruit. Man had gotten stuck in the grasp of sin, then Jesus came and cut us loose. When Jesus called out on the cross these words that we ourselves must say, “ Father into thy hands I commit my spirit” Luke 23:46. Jesus was giving back to God what Adam had lost, his complete surrender to God and God alone, his entire being. Jesus was naked on the cross, unlike Adam and Eve, his concern wasn’t shame and hiding from God, but feeling like his Father has left him. Isn’t it a coincidence that Jesus the man felt abandoned by the Father and Adam the man was hiding from the Father. Something for man to think about.

I couldn’t help but believe that our consciousness and emotions has a lot to do with sin. My reason for coming to this conclusion is Jesus was emotional in the garden of Gethsamane and on the cross. When Adam sin the first thing that both him and Eve did was to show emotions by running and hiding from God and clothing themselves with leaf, because they realized they were naked, Genesis 3:7.

There’s nothing like grief and pain to throw you off your game. It controls the very essence of our being. Grief to me means to love intensely and Pain is the pinnacle of our emotions like height or level, the reason you’re asked on a scale of 1 to 10 how bad is your pain? Grief and pain can cause a man to feel like God has forsaken them. It is the depth of emotions that allows us to cry out and feel like God has forsaken us. You can’t even begin to explain the intensity of emotions you’re feeling. The kind of cry that gets the attention of God. Heart and mind pain, emotions that connects flesh and the spirit.

Jesus our redeemer and salvation. Jesus came to deliver us from the consequences of sin. Sin still abound because we allow it when we don’t rebuke it, now that we are so knowledgeable about it. Taking control of it is in following in the footsteps of Jesus. We must follow Jesus, the perfect example of how to overcome sin, by being one with God. Remembering when Jesus said, “to see me is to see the Father”(John 14:9) “The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing His work” (John 14:10). This showed me that Jesus lived for the will of the Father to be done in him without wavering. Like so many men and women of the Bible, God’s will is written with in us all, but like Adam and Eve for some of us, we allow temptation and the distractions of the enemy to overcome us.

What do I mean by the will of God is written within us? For example, when the devil told Jesus to turn the stone into bread and Jesus said, “ it is written, man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that…”(Matthew 4:3-4). Jesus wasn’t talking about the what was written in the Bible, but rather what God has written within our spirit. The devil wasn’t trying to defeat Jesus the divine, but Jesus the man.

There’s only a few chosen people who have an intimate relationship with God to be true leaders (shepherd) in the world. We can’t be so ignorant with those who just doesn’t believe or can’t understand the way we do with our faith. You who are chosen, like Moses have to let Gods light shines within and through you that others may believe. The feeling of being superior of others and their faith (religion) is so very wrong. When we can’t in our actions, show the true light of God and not darkness, we are not worthy. God is love and if we can’t have love, even for those who doesn’t believe like we do, then we are not of God. God alone knows how, what and when they would change. All we have to do is pray for them.

Jesus brought to us the unconditional love of God for all of humanity. He took all our sins upon himself and give us grace instead. Look at what Jesus took upon himself for us that is considered sin, doing good for others, healing, miracles, feeding thousands, then being betrayed, mocked and spat on, beaten, scourged and forsaken by love ones due to fear and then murdered (crucified) for no reason, not even being found guilty of one wrong doing. What does it say about us when we do consider what is truly evil or sin within us. Think about this the sin wasn’t anything Jesus has done or being. It was our action toward him for no reason that was the sin in us he allowed us to play out by crucifying him because of fear, envy and jealousy. Kinda sound like what Cain did to his brother Abel. And here we were thinking we were doing good for God sake by killing Jesus. The cross was and is very important to us and for us because it was the place that Jesus recognized who and what truly possessed us and said, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do!”

We take for granted our health. “If it’s not broken no need to fix it.”Some of us feels the same way about our physical and mental health. As long as we feel ok and we can move around and do the things we’re accustomed doing, even with a little pain and discomfort, as long as we can get through it, then, nothing is really wrong. We always wait until it’s more than we can handle to realize something is seriously wrong, like severe pain causing immobility

Here I am counting down the days until I find out the results of my biopsy and she died. This is the second time I am on this path. The first time I was terrified, just thought of cancer petrified me. But the closer my relationship got with the Lord and I’ve become more mature as His child, I fear no more rather this kills me or not, because no matter what, one day I will pass on, death is inevitable. I am not going to spend my time worrying about when and how I am going to die. As long as God is with me whenever, however it is alright with me. How can I have faith in God and fear death. My faith will carry me into the arms of my saviour in death as it has kept me here on this earth through the good and the bad.

Look how the devil is so wicked, two days ago my son wife lost her mother to breast cancer. God call her home from all her suffering. We had a good heart felt conversation as two mothers, at our grandson birthday party. I told her to fight, stop wearing black clothing like she’s mourning her life already. So I went out and bought her some uplifting colours of clothing to wear. This was not her first battle, she’d fought before and won, but it came back. I believed in my heart she was going to win this one also. But the phone call that morning brought me to tears, and I can’t stop thinking about her as one mother to another, OMG! For it was only a few weeks we had our conversation about God, life, health and family and now she’s dead. I cried for almost an hour. I heard a voice in my head saying, “ this could be you next.” But I know the devil is liar! I haven’t gotten my results yet and for a second reality of it did hit me, but in Jesus almighty name, I rebuke the devil to get behind me. I felt it in my spirit that my son mother-in-law knew this was going to be it for her, because when she said they couldn’t operate anymore, they would try a new medication that may give her a few more years to live, if it works, she then smiled and said, “ whatsoever God’s plan, I believes in Jesus, I have faith, I’m not afraid.”

Her death makes me want to live and not take for granted every moment of this life. She suffered really suffered because she had refused to take stronger medication to help with the pain as to not be incoherent to her love ones. She sacrificed herself for her love ones. She was brave and so strong…Sorry I can’t write anymore my heart is breaking.

I know enough to understand that black and white photos can only indicate going back in time. I kept on dreaming our world in black and white no colours. Like an old Charlie Chaplin movie everything black and white no colours. The dreams are clear and the meaning is that we are going through repetitive thing in our existence as humanity. Racism, sexism, social injustice, the greed for power, and the list goes on. But the question is how well learnt are we? If nothing is new under the sun according to Ecclesiastes 1:9 “what has been will be again, what has been done will be done again, there is nothing new under the sun.

Shame on us, Jesus life, death and resurrection has for some of us made a drastic change. Unless we are aware through a relationship with our Lord and saviour, we’ll always be in black and white. The rainbow has many colours like that of Joseph rob given to him by this father. The many colours signify the promise of God will to be fulfilled.

It’s time for us to draw nearer to God and come out of the dark, into the light. Don’t allow ignorance and self righteousness to make us fall short. The colours represents the many different beauty of the Lord, the unlimited wholeness of His love, mercy, compassion, forgiveness favours, for us all. The black and white is a limitation of our being. Dreaming black and white only means we have a lot of work to do.

Christians we have be the ones to set the stage for the coming of the Lord. It’s better we didn’t know than we know and choose to ignore the truth that has been set before us in His word and in our spirit. If we’re truly in a relationship with Him only then we’d know. He has never been far from us, at least not in the spirit.

If we are of God we should have the understanding of who God is. God is righteous and true, He may move in a mysterious ways to us, but never has He ever leave us thinking anything about His intentions for man is a conspiracy. Conspiracy theory: a belief that a group of people are secretly trying to harm someone or achieve something. You usually use this term to suggest that you think this is unlikely. Collins English Dictionary.

Isaiah 8:12 “ Do not call conspiracy everything this people calls a conspiracy; do not fear what they fear, and do not dread it.” Conspiracy is not of God, but the workings of the devil. God doesn’t conspire against humanity. In the garden of Eden is where the devil first infected humanity with conspiracy. Genesis 3:4-5 “ You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

Conspiracy is what Satan convey about God in the garden with Adam and Eve to convince them to eat from the forbidden tree, God had told them they would surly die if they did eat, which is the very truth to his word. All those who’s in the world that are Christians like Adam and Eve, if you allow conspiracy theories to eat away at you or you, yourself is spreading conspiracy, you’ve got to understand it’s not from God. And like a drug you can get addicted to conspiracy theory leaving you paranoid and prone to anxiety. How could this be what God wants for us to go through.

One phone call that’s all it took to turn my world upside down. It’s been a while since I had contact with my granddaughter and given the chance, I took every advantage of the opportunity. I loved on her so much I didn’t want to let her go. It was so touching to my soul to see her all grown up and now a teenager, “thank you Lord!“ My granddaughter and her mother side of her family doesn’t believe in the Covid-19 vaccine and are not vaccinated. After spending the day with my granddaughter, I traveled back home feeling like I’ve just won the lottery. The next morning my husband received a important phone call from his boss informing him a Covid-19 breakout at the workplace and we all have to get tested. No ones allowed to return to work without being tested. Even though we’re double vaccinated we still have to be tested as to not spread the Covid to others who might not have received or refuse to have gotten the vaccine. You could just imagine my cry and my fear for my granddaughter who hasn’t yet been the vaccinated. I had spoken to her about the importance of getting the vaccine and it’s not a conspiracy. And look what’s now taking place.

The thought of having to back track to every place and person we were in contact with in the last few days, on a long weekend; everyone was out and about like us, travelling long distance. My greatest concern was for my granddaughter whom every moment I hugged and kiss on her, even shared my food with her from mouth to mouth, feeling so good because at least I am double vaccinated and take all necessary precautions to be safe to finally get to see and be around her. The thought of being responsible for her getting Covid was devastating to me.

I thought getting the vaccine would solve the pandemic wows where I was concerned. I was doing my part in making the word a better place not just for the sake of loved ones and myself, but for all of humanity, especially those for whatever the reason maybe can’t be vaccinated. But then it hit me as I entered into the testing center and saw the children and their parents of all nationalities, religions, languages, that we can’t be selfish this disease is affecting the entire world and it doesn’t discriminate. I began to weep and said “Lord have mercy on us all?”

I have spoken to someone who has chosen not to be vaccinated about my concerns for all of them who has chosen not to be. I told the person my fears of being some how responsible if I were to be the one to infect them with the virus how much it would bother me, as I definitely would feel hurt and responsible. As Jesus has spoken on the cross, “ forgive them father for they know not what they do!” It is with mercy, love and compassion as following Christ. If I were to not care about others as I do myself, then I would be breaking the very law of the kingdom. A kingdom I had chosen to be baptized and forsaken the things of world to be apart of, the devil is a liar to be and do otherwise. The person said to me, “if we choose not to be vaccinated then it’s really honestly on us, because we’re not going to be force to.” And I was filled with much sorrow, recognizing for the first time in my life how many times God himself must have been extending His merciful hands to us humans for our own well being and we fight against Him, with our ignorance, selfish righteousness and conspiracy theories.

Selfish, that what I would call anyone who thinks only of themselves. We live in a word that together we all have to come together and stand in times of need especially when it comes to something so serious as a pandemic that is affecting us all. Now is not the time for one man to be an Island all by themselves. Unity, it takes nothing but unity to overcome a giant like this pandemic. Being selfish is not helpful at all, it is one of the many lessons we all are learning from this pandemic.

I’ve realized as I’ve gotten older when Jesus said the second greatest commandment of God, “love your neighbour as yourself” is because we are like mirror images of one another with our strength and weaknesses, in other words our imperfections, which is self. Love is God image within us to make us unified as one with him. God is love!

I may not be able to convince anyone who chooses not to believe in God and that’s ok. Regardless if we believe in the existence of God doesn’t stop the divine from being. And I don’t believe just because when I die, I need a safe place to go or for my life to have meant something to someone or something. He’s always there just waiting for us to acknowledge His presence. His presence begins within us before we could discover Him on the outside. God existence is in the very breathe we take and show up in all of creation. Someone told me that they heard God and science is finally coming together. My response was “excuse me, if whoever they may be, understood truly who God is, they would know that God, himself created science, mathematics, geography, biology, physic, chemistry, quantum mechanics etc. It’s like saying God, man and the entire universe is finally getting together. They better just stop!” Man is the only one who’s finally coming together with the knowledge, wisdom and understanding of the reality, that God do truly exist.

Whenever we find God in the darkness of our live rather than the light we base our knowledge, wisdom and understanding of Him as our redeemer and that’s all He’s become in our lives. God become like currency for our lives, we use Him in exchange for favours, blessings and a sure ticket to heaven when we die. But God is more than that if you found Him in light of your life. And the light of your life means from in our mothers womb to birth, like Jesus in Bethlehem, He was God, and is our God. He wasn’t a transaction for favour in our lives, but rather He is our life. So whether we have it good or bad in our lives, no favours, He’s still God. God being part of our lives is reassurance that whether good or bad, we fear not of this life. His presence protection and care help us to navigate and live our best lives in this world and move on forward to our eternal home with Him.

How do I know this? That’s what Jesus did and was trying to teach us. Why else would he had come to live and die among us, besides for our redemption. Being one like us, has proven it’s not impossible for us to follow through the will of God in doing like he’d done and be like he has been. Jesus is the key for us all to get through to the other side, by following his example and him being the one to lead and guide us through it all. He has never left us nor forsaken us. This life is hard and he realized it in the garden of Gethsemane and when he was on the cross and asked why God had forsaken him, Matthew 27:46 and Mark 15:34.

Psalm 139 is one of the most powerful proof of God love for us. And who better than David to so eloquently wrote it, the man after God own heart. So it’s trustworthy as truth coming from David. He had an relationship with the Lord like no other, even to Abraham who was God friend. Whenever I read this Psalm I can’t help but to fall in love with God. It touches my soul and enlightens my spirit. If there’s any song of love I’d love to sing to our Lord it would be this Psalm. David written about the imperfections of man, yet God still loving us, “ if I ascend up into heaven thou art there, if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there” verse 8, and this we all are “ fearfully and wonderfully made” verse 14. This Psalm 139 speak to God for all us sinners to whom acknowledges our greatest love for our creator, the lover of our soul. Thanks You David for speaking on our behalf! “What a mighty and awesome God we have and willing to serve.”

Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Baha’i, Sikhism, Jainism, Atheism,Taoism, Shinto, Paganism…and the lists goes on. All of this for one God. I’d like to believe there’s many faiths because so many of us have a desire and longing to understand the purpose of our existence and who’s behind the creation of all things. Our faith (religion) is the answer to all our questions about life and though it may seem so outrageous to others or a reason for war, hatred and rejection. We all desire proof in the existence of God. We have places of worship like church, temple, mosque, synagogue… We can call it all kind of names, but it’s still the same things, for example what is considered the Sacred books such as for Christians the Bible, Judaism the Torah, Muslim the Qur’an and once again the list goes on. Just as there are differences in our ethnicity, so it is with our religion, but yet it doesn’t set us apart being human. We are all still human beings with one thing in common, we all die regardless, a fact that we can all agree on.

God is the creator of everything, and what if because he has given us the freedom to choose, we are the ones in our search to discover and know Him, created Him according to what each and everyone of us has experienced as an encounter, imagined or presume Him to be, due to our culture, traditions, and ancestry. We are created with different colour of our skin, speak different languages, looks different, eat and make different foods, dress in different clothing according to our culture and so on. There’s beautiful in the diversity. What if diversity is God intended plan.

When we judge and condemn one another religious beliefs, not one of us has the right or qualifications, but God. It’s Him alone who know the truth behind what we are all trying to do and be where He’s concerned. It is all about humility and respect for each others faith. We are all searching for truth and what if the truth is not in our separation of differences, but in the differences unified. And truly when thinking about it, all the diversity of faith just allows us to understand just how great and powerful God is, that He, Himself, who created all things is all things Himself, if that makes any sense? He’s creator and ruler of all.

I am writing this with the heaviness of heart. A good friend of mine I introduced to faith for the first time as a teenager instead of the normal things teenagers do. Yes, I have always put God first. Now after many years, found religion and decided to study, which made me so happy and excited for this friend. I am the kind of person which believe you can pray for someone and allow God to do His work in them. I never believe it necessary to use heaven or hell as a bargaining tool to draw people to God, “He is sufficient.” Like that of a life insurance sales person, “want to go to heaven when you die, then you better do what I believe to be the undeniable truth of God.” People have so much faith, but yet some how they believe God is incompetent without them. Oh how that is so offensive to me, because before you know it, unknown to their own self realization, they all of a sudden become God. Once working for the Boss, take over and becomes the Boss. This friend says to me if I don’t join their faith, I would be on one side as my friend would be on the right side and this person doesn’t like that idea, wants us to be together on the same side. The love is that we should be together, but look at the irony we’re both Christians. I could of understood my friend being worried about me if maybe I didn’t have faith. “What makes my friends faith more righteous if we’re both Christians.” I thought to myself. Even if I wasn’t a Christians it doesn’t make a difference to me. Whatever faith I choose has to be between me and God not man. “I have enough faith in God, that if I was to make a mistake, He’s merciful.

I am very apprehensive when it come to the faith that believe they are the righteousness and truth of God, join them and you’ll go to heaven, “please, they got to stop!” Truthfully then, I rather go to hell. Humility, love and respect for others, draws me to a faith.

In my journey in this life I have joined and followed many faiths, at a time in my life seek truth about God. This is what happens when you’re born of a Catholic father and a Protestant mother, freedom to choose. The one thing I’ve learned is that all these faiths are trying to attain the same goals and truth. Some truly believe they are the righteousness faith of God. The problem is I don’t know if to be angry or feel sorry. I didn’t even know how to respond to my friend. With anything concerning God, the flesh part of me wants to make its feelings known in the worst of ways especially knowing in this pandemic times emotions are so high like the enemy( devil, negative forces) is rampant seeking whom it may devour. I give thanks unto God that this was said to me while I was already fasting and praying about the times we’re living. And for this reason I wrote this Blog. The funny thing is, what my friend studied I had done it years ago and had decided it wasn’t for me, for the same reason she has now given me. Their ultimatum to be one of them was so against what I believe in and was searching for, “oh the arrogance!”

I believe that life is about levels, and as human beings where God is concern, spiritual levels of understanding we all must acquire to operate in faith. The higher we get is the more humble we become. And with humility, that’s when we truly possess the spirit of the Lord within us and that spirit works in love and respect to everyone, no matter what.

As I was praying, I felt the Holy Spirit revealed something in my broken heart about my friend and others like them. Saul who’s name was changed to Paul was also on the same side as Jesus disciples after his encounter with the Lord, but his past as a murderer of Christians kept him from relationships with some of the disciples. It didn’t matter he found out the truth about who Jesus truly is as he began to preach the gospel, he’d walked a lonely road without man, only Jesus who knew Paul was a changed man. Sometimes knowing the truth is only to be between you and God. Like Joseph and his family when he had the dream and David a young shepherd boy to be anointed king by Samuel and not his brother and he had faith to go up against Goliath, a giant, in the name of the Lord. But so much worst was Jesus who came to deliver man from sin was killed by the very ones he came to save. “So why am I hurt? Truth, it’s not about me!”

I woke up this morning and I couldn’t get this thought out of my head, “why was the Bible written, and for whom was it written?” I am aware it all started with Moses when he was given the commandments, God’s law for the rebellious people of the Lord, all those who was once in captivity as slaves to the Egyptians. They were on their way to the promise land. Was the promised land a place or a state of mind? Like the kingdom of God, I believe it to be Jesus being and his doing. Luke 17:21 The kingdom of God is within you!

If Abraham and all those before didn’t have or needed a Bible , but yet know and believed in God. Food for thought. Was the Jewish people new in their faith with God, or did they drift so far away that they got lost? I believe that from the beginning of time we are all God children and like Cain some of us struggled with the good and evil. And there are people like Abel who just knows to do the right thing without struggling.

My reason for thinking outside the box of what is considered mainstream Christian religious beliefs is, I am looking for Jesus. Jesus broke all the rules so much that no one except his disciples could of truly known that he was the true son of God, the Messiah who came to redeem man from our sins. Then I thought to myself, “why when Jesus was coming of age at twelve, his first business of the Father was speaking to the elders in the temple, but yet as a man, he didn’t include any of them into his discipleship.” I realize Jesus went outside the box. The people he had chosen to walk with him was not church people. The church people, they were the ones who continued to challenge his every move, and wanting him to be crucified.

It took Jesus death for those who didn’t believe he was who he has proven to be, which is the son of God. Even after his death some none believer as high rank church officials wanted to silence his existence. So we ourselves today who are proclaiming his returning, my question is how are you going to know for sure once again it is truly Him?Remember those back in the days also had the prophecy of his coming, but yet rejected him even consider him a threat and blasphemer.

The word of God has to be written in our hearts and mind where no one or anything can remove or deny us of it and its truth would not be manipulated or change.

I like to consider myself normal as long as I keep my thoughts to myself and hold on to some truths revealed to me by the Lord. The world is not ready for the truth. I often wondered, if I am the only one who thinks the way I do and feel about God. There’s got to be others! Thought is an energy and to me it’s shared through the entire universe. I’ve picture in my mind the thought process bouncing from my brain into someone else and so on and so forth. From a thought to an manifestation, bringing it to life. A knowing feeling of the realization that “God is” and He’s not just some wishful thinking.

My thoughts are so deep that it becomes my reality. Like tapping into another realm when I’d conversate with the higher being of myself, my spirit. And in doing so I communicate with God. In silence you can hear a pin drop. So it is to hear the voice of God, in meditative silence. Silencing the flesh and all that is distracting and noisy is Like turning off the volume of life so you can hear God. Life is loud and very distracting.

Eight month pregnant without any understanding, there was a voice that kept on calling. It was the tragedy that really got my attention to the calling voice. The trials and tribulations that I was enduring with this pregnancy was unbelievable. It was in a fight for my life as well as the baby’s. The dream of being summoned to the beach in which seem like nothing more than to go for a swim. But it wasn’t for a swim. There was a gathering of people and there stood among them dressed in red and white my granny and she’s coming towards me with clothing in her hands and then I would awake from the dream. Again and again I continued to have the same dream. So I told my spiritual mother who explained to me my dream. She told me I was to go and be baptized to save the life of my unborn baby. To me it seemed like nonsense, God is not to be sold like insurance for life. But the dreams kept on. In my dreams I would be fed all kinds of food, that when I awake, the dream was so vivid I didn’t feel hungry at all. I was told that I was being fed spiritually and the baby I was carrying was for God’s purpose.

Always wanted to have children, I could never have seen my life without kids. I remember going to the Saint Joseph Oratory placing my belly on the tomb of brother Andre, a known miracle worker, even dead could still make miracles happen. I was praying after being told I might not be able to conceive because of retroverted or retroflexed uterus and endometriosis. Back in my day it was believed by doctors that a tilted uterus might contribute to infertility. But today experts now know that the position of the uterus doesn’t affect the ability of the sperm to reach the egg. “No kidding four pregnancies latter.” Just like they had believed once a cesarean is always going to be one, and you were only allowed three, I had four.

It’s been thirty six years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday. Just as I was born (not by choice) and not made (choosing to follow) God, so it is with my son. The decision I had to make for my child when getting baptized at eight months pregnant help me to understand I why me myself was born and not made. Never was it confirmed, but I believe my mother, “may her soul Rest In Peace” have been in the same situation as myself when she was called by God, her spiritual awakening. Just as my awakening some how touched the baby in my womb. I literally saw a light coming from up above and hit me right in the stomach at my baptism at eight months pregnant and I went into manifestation. One of the mother I had not met before told me every day of my pregnancy I must read Luke 1:46-55, and I did as I was told.

Two weeks after being baptized I dreamt I was going to have a baby boy and his name was to called David, I was to look on the fifty seven page of the Bible story book and it will confirm what he was going to be in his life. Sure enough, it was the confirmation of his name to be King David who slayed the giant Goliath. This is so truthful that God himself allowed me to tell this dream to my spiritual mother so she also can bear witness to confirm it to be truthful before my son was born. We were never told the gender of the baby, we wanted it to be a surprise, but God revealed it to us all, way before his birth.

My son was four weeks premature, we both spent two weeks in the hospital due to complications. My son and myself was to die, yes it was that bad, but if it hadn’t been for the Lord! You see, all my life I knew God in my being and had so much faith, that the doctors telling me I wasn’t going to have children and I was limited. Sorry, but I knew God way before my baptism. He was the peace that kept me going even in my trials and tribulations that’s why being told I needed to be baptized sounded foolish. My fight has always been because I knew him so well, we were in a loving relationship that the enemy didn’t like. But I kept pressing on in faith and still I haven’t told all my story, but the fight kept on ragging and I kept on believing, like Job, till God has released and blessed me and my house. Amen, and Amen!

I felt like telling this now because yesterday that same child came to me and said he’s reading his Bible and want to be able to reach and help people today through the reading of it. For this reason I want to dancing, sing, worship and give praise to God.