It is now April 26, 2019 and I am going over the reality in my head, you have passed away. I can’t get the grip of it in my mind or heart. As long as you were alive it felt like I had a lifetime to get my finances in order to come and see you. You were just to young to go so fast and unexpectedly. Just like my life with you was cut short once again you’re gone now forever and I don’t even know what date or what caused your passing. My God, you were just never to be a part of my life at all, I thought to myself. Ten years was the last time we spoke and Iwanted you to come and see us, I pleaded with you. You were the last to the meaning of my life as I just turned fifty-three. I wanted to get the chance to see you face to talk about life, my life and yours. I wanted so much to know so much about you, your life, and why you left us the way you did and now like a thief in the night you’re gone. I am sorry I took for granted, some how you’d be there when I was ready to come meet with you. I am angry that whatever was wrong with you didn’t allow you to put us first to bare the pain and come to come visit us. It would of been easier for you to come than all your children and grand kids. What was so bad, your arthritis, come on now! Canada is not always that cold, you could of make the sacrifice even if it had kill you, just to see us one more time and now look you’re still dead anyway.

There was a time I loved you unconditionally, after all you are my mommy and then there was times I resented you when I needed a mother the most. It hurt me at the age of ten when my sister stated out clear that you’re dead to her and I couldn’t understand her pain. Only after her death and the way she died, then did I understood her cries of hatred and resentment towards you. Where were you when we were hungry and left alone for days while she was left to take care of us, when the television fell into the crib and almost killed our younger bother at that time? The neighbors came to realize that we were left alone for days or even months, then the police and grandma took us in. We were babies and she was only four years old. Where were you when your children was being passed around from place to place to live, be mistreated, your girl children was left alone to be attacked none stop by a child molester predators who was entrusted to take care of them, that send you eldest daughter to drugs, alcohol, prostitution and bad relationships all the way to her demise, your middle daughter to fear relationship dew to vulnerability and fear of being abused, your last to spend her life ever fighting to stand up for herself after being told it was her fault for being molested and not tough enough to fight, being an over protected mother to her children to the point of obsessing over their well being not allowing them to go through life pains and struggles without trying to prevent them from falling, always jumping in front to take the bullet, not allowing them to get cut and bleed a little, obsessing to the point of making herself sick and crazy and as for your our boy children who felt bullied and abused by their father mentally and physically having no idea how it would be to be in the care of a mother. Where were when we needed the comfort and the wisdom of a mother in our times of puberty, schools, jobs and dreams for the future, joys and saddness, fears and doubts, first love and broken hearts, marriages and children, labour pains, health issues,everything that could be shared with a mother, from keeping a house to cooking, any and everything that represents a mom and her love for her family, mother? I so resented you for not being there even now as I am going through menopause and empty nest syndrome.

I remembered the day my father left and you cried as he kissed you goodbye and I vomited and out dog Buster licked it up. You made noodle soup for us the next day left said you’d be back and never returned. I recalled my brother throwing a book we had in the backyard and you or my eldest sister was going to go get it. You told us we couldn’t leave the house, but you were gone so long that by the time my eldest sister opened the backdoor to get the book to read it to calm my younger bothers who was crying that they were hungry the grass was taller than her so she couldn’t get it. The only time you came back was to have my baby brother in the house. I remembered you with two other women locked up in the room and you groaning as we all sat together in the living room being quite as you told us to. We all heard a cry and one of the woman with you brought us the baby to see we had a baby brother. Then you stayed for a few days and left the placenta in a pan on the floor in the bathroom and it would frighten me everytime I saw it, it looked so gross and there was flies all around it. You left again with the baby never to return for a long time again and when you did you returned you came with a man, put us all in the living room once again with the belt swinging between your legs, you said, sit there and be quite don’t move and you and the man was in the same room with the door locked laughing and groaning. At the time I didn’t understand, thought you were having another baby and as I have grown I realized that you were having sex in my father’s house with another man in our presence and you were drunk. I resented and hated you as my older sister explains and we spoke about it. I believed your action was the reason for my father to have left us and never came back. That was the last time I would ever remember us in our home. I know now as a mother you have to wait six weeks before you can have sex so it was that long or even more you left us alone and I never saw our baby brother again. I remembered seeing you once at our grandmother house in the bushes and twice at my aunty once when my grandfather died and another time you lay on her Sofa crying not even talking to us listening to the Beatles song Let it be and at another time you were staying at a house next to our school where every day I would hope to see you and one day we did and you brought us treats and lunch it was the happiest day cause you hugged and kissed us and cried to let us go. That’s the first time I realized you must love us and something is wrong with you. Never to see you again until I was eleven years old and visited the Caribbean with my dad and even then I didn’t get a chance to speak with you, my dad had refused to leave me with you for whatever reason. Then I found out that you had kidnapped my eldest sister to look after my baby brother we didn’t see after you give birth and left us in the house all alone, so he didn’t trust you. But I’ve always felt from you that my eldest sister and brother after me, you loved the most, cause they were your first. I have always saw myself as a daddy’s girl anyways, often wondering what kind of mother daughter relationship we would of had. I saw a lot of you in my eldest sister so we would of loved each other to death, but fight a lot I thought. I guess I saw you in her cause she was the only mother figure for us all without you being there and my dad always said she was just like you, especially her behavior. I never thought it to be a compelment because it was when my dad was angry at her.

Look what you’ve done to us again I thought to myself, when my eldest sister died. In life as in death, we needed you, I needed you to have been here to help take care of her children and bury your daughter. Instead she took care of me and all our siblings when we were left alone by you and it was only fitting that I return the blessing. When she had died my aunt cried when she remembered her when she came to the Caribbean for a visit and she met with my eldest sister that was with you when you kidnapped her and all she can worry and cry about is if we were alone and hungry, so sad a responsibility of the heart and mind for a nine years old baby girl. Were you ever thinking of your children like that? I thought to myself. Ever since her passing nothing have ever been the same in all our lives. She was an important part of holding us all together even though her drunken out of control behavior use to reek havoc, now none of us siblings hasn’t spoken to each other for decades now. Like Jesus when he was crucified all his disciples scattered so did we cause we had no parents to help us heal after the lose of a siblings, this is where the breast and shoulders of a mother comes into play after your children has grown up and you no longer have to nurse or burp them,but just allow them to cry their fears,doubt, pain on your breast as a pillow and hold them up on your shoulder. Where were you? We needed you, I needed you. Just as in life her death also reek havoc and to this day we can’t face each other cause all it does is reminds us of how tormented, painful and cruel a life we were dealt with. We can’t face each other even wth pretense cause the truth continues to pierce us through our hearts and minds the absence of her presence. Like the lost of you, how are we to go on now with no answers to our questions, why?

Thank you mother for all this pain and suffering I’ve endured not having you, in my life. As Psalm 27:10 stipulated “When my father and mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.” I had looked for you in every mother figure and women I’ve encountered in my life, like a lost sheep, I needed guidance of a shepherd to have found my way back home. Home where I was not afraid, but felt secured and at peace. You had chose out my path I thought when you left, a path of a wanderer, abounded, abused, so much pain and needless suffering, all because I believe you were selfish. There was a time I remembered as I had just gotten married and I spoke to you on the phone after you saw my wedding video, all you were concerned about was money and clothing you wanted, not about my life and my sibings. I told this story to a friend of mine mother and Iwanted her to agree with me that you were a bad mother for that, but instead she said, regardless she’s you mother. My question was why wouldn’t she be more concerned about us than the material things, what kind of mother is this? And yes after all she abandoned us and now she has the nerve to ask for anything, she should be the one trying to offer at least her heart and an apology. I believed everything you did to us was about yourself. You and your mother’s dysfunctions over your father and your life; then that of yours and my father’s. Because of this I sought the Lord and He heard me. I didn’t want to carry on the dysfunction, mental issue and boy I fought it with all my might. I often thought of how I would feel if you were to pass, but I never thought my heart and mind would still long for you with such grief. I often said out of sight out of mind, it would be no different than it always has been, you not in my life anyways and life will go on. But the devil is a liar, being a mother myself and the Lord opening my blind eyes, my stubborn mind and frozen heart just as Jesus did on te cross to say, “forgive them father for they know not what they do.” My life carried me to the cross with Jesus because of you, as he was innocent so was I mother, and yet an innocent baby.

My grandmother never told you her story cause back in the days it was considered none of children business. I didn’t get the chance to know your story, but I know a little of it through my own life as God allowed me to understand. You left us and started a new family with four children and have you forgot the six that you left, how blessed you are to have three daughters and three sons like they called us the Brady Bunch. I often wondered were you replacing us once again for your own selfish reason? I’ve heard from many people you are a wonderful mother even so with those children as once with us, but truly they got you at the best time in your life as you were matured and you made up with them what you couldn’t have done for us by far, as Psalms 51:17 says, “The sacrifice of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.” So God must of blessed you with another chance by blessing you with more children. I’ve heard from family members that you’d hold all six of our pictures and cry for days in a depression. I heard that you’d mourn for us even with your new family, you never forgot us. Your heart always ached for each and everyone of us. And my shame was I never wanted to disrupt your perfect little family cause if you loved us you’d do anything to have come to us and find us and starting another family would be the last thing on your mind. The first thing would of been to make your wrong right, no? Then I found out you were an alcoholic, a smoker and you spend a lot of time in bars drinking and picking up men. The man that you are with now is a cripple and had no control over you, you did whatever you wanted to. I am not judging you, because strangely after my sister died I myself started to smoke and then quit, drinking was never my thing. I then started to recognize the patterns of mental depression within myself and siblings after the pass of the eldest and it is from both you and our father, that’s why you both couldn’t last together. We all in some way or the other inherited both of your mental issues and dysfunctions and attitudes, like a hereditary curse and spell.

I am not here judging you and if I am is because everything that you’ve been through and done I’ve experienced same things or even worst, but I fought and never give up. I had children and was young also, but unlike you for different men and left alone no mother or their fathers to help me, but I didn’t abandoned them. Unlike you I had c-cection to have all of them spending time in the hospital coming home alone in pain with no one to help but God if something had gone wrong. I mustered up the strength to do everything all by myself with the help of God guidance. I struggle with unspeakable tragedies in my life that I wanted to die, kill myself, but I had my children if nothing else, to be strong and to live for. I guess I have to thank you for that because I never would want to leave them to suffer what I did without a mother. Don’t get me wrong my father wasn’t any better either, but this is about you right now. I don’t think to myself as being stronger or better than you, question is, why didn’t you fight if I could? I didn’t get the chance to learn about your life and what caused you to be the way you were, but I know my story so that I can tell my children and they would never have to worry or wonder, all thanks to you.

You left me again mommy, why? My heart, mind, and spirit is so hurting with you and for you!

I love God, who just like my biological mother growing up not knowing personally and then finding out that though I do not look like her we have the same characteristic and behaviour I am alot like hers. This to me is the same way in which we are created in the image of God. I may not of known my mother and like my faith in God I know for sure I had one. I was born knowing the existence of God like we all know we have and came from a mother and a father.

As I mature spiritually I understood my desire for wanting to know my mother was no different than that of wanting to also know God. And for this reason I’ve realized that God is closer to us all than we’d ever believe, he’s within and without like our parents.

I know that I was different because of everything I’ve been through in my life, starting with my own family like the story of Joseph and his family because of his dream. Like Joseph no matter where he went trouble with the evil that people intended to do against him never had any affect because the Lord always delivered him for his righteous and good personality. You can’t fake goodness, it’s not something you can pretend for too long before your true self comes out because of fear, lose, anger or frustration. If you’re good you’d stand regardless, that’s how God created you, like Job. You can still love and trust God.

For your humility compassion, kindness towards others you get persecuted like Jesus. Like it’s hard for people to believe you are being you, they believe you’re playing something you’re not. Your light in the Lord is supposed to make you shine not hated, envy, jeaulous or even killed. But if it had been for the Lord who was on your side, like Joseph you wouldn’t have survived.

I know that there’s things that can cause a lot of us to be so different, but there’s one thing that we all have in common whether we believe or not, God. Can you feel it!!!

Pro-choice: the right to terminate a pregnancy. Pro-life: wrong and consider murder to terminate a pregnancy or kill a human. What does the Word says about abortion? The six commandments thou shalt not kill Exodus 20:13. There’s no exception in the commandments where as we’re allowed to kill. Even though there are some who will argue to differ according to scripture self-defense, war and capital punishment Nehemiah 4:11-14, Exodus 22:2-3 and Genesis 9:6 are good reasons to take a life. Even to some, sacrifice is not the same as to kill. But I believe strongly Deuteronomy 32:39(NIV) which says, “See now that I, even I, am he, and there is no god beside me; I kill and I make alive; I wound and I heal; and there is none that can deliver out of my hand.” This to me means even though we are given free choice God is still in control.

Many people believe when comes to abortion it’s wrong regardless if they are religious or not, “thou shalt not kill a baby” and it doesn’t matter if it’s an embryo, or just blood as some believe the excuse for it being okay; as it’s not fully a human being yet, so they believe. Abortion is killing, and there’s no way to sugar coat that fact. Murder, killing equals death regardless of the reasons behind it.

Whenever one thinks of abortion we see an innocent angelic babies. We never allow our vision to clearly see the baby as a human being. The very innoncent baby could be thief, murderer, pimp, prostitutes, drug traffickers, an addict, molester, rapist, racist all the evil we are horrified about even to wanting them killed for it. We love the all animal cubs because it’s innocent and harmless until it grows into a man-eater then we’re afraid and hunt and kill them. I’ll be the devil’s advocate under these circumstances to all those who opposes abortion. When these angelic babies grows up you’re the first to cry out kill them for killing your loved ones or hurt you in some way. You hypocrites go to the jails, hospitals, foster homes, adoption agencies, the streets with the homeless, countries where there’s poverty, diseases, no water, and destruction and help those who are also in need of your deliverance and mercy. Feed the hungry, cloth the naked, give shelter to the homeless. Go to the jails, hospitals, in your own neighborhoods, highways and byways, wherever there’s a sense of hopelessness and stop life abortions( the evil people as they are now recognized as, the forgotten with mentally illness, outcasts of society).

I sincerely believe that abortion should not be used as a form of contraceptive and prevention is better that cure, especially with all the contraceptives available today, no excuses. Yes, accident do happen, but still remember no one goes before God on judgement day on your behalf for your actions in life beside yourself. Your decision to abort is like everything in life, your freedom to choose and also to expect and except the consequence. The consequences is not just what happens when you die, like going to hell or heaven. Some after having an abortion feel like they are cursed, could never get pregnant again or have a child that has complications such physical or mental challenges.

We must learn to show compassion cause not everyone who has an abortion is a baby killer and a murderer. These are the people the activists against abortion over looks, like the ones the ultrasound shows needs to be terminated, or the ones for health as well as that of the unborn fetus would be in jeopardy. And let us not forget that there are people who are thorn when comes to having an abortion, but have no other choice and mentally it breaks them or the ones who adamantly thought it was a good idea and regret it for the rest of their lives.

Like the giving or taking of blood or organs no one should have the rights to tell another what they can an can’t do with their body. Let the judgement be that of the Lord’s, for only he is the reader of hearts and minds. And for those who doesn’t believe in God pray for them.

Take my life Lord and consecrate it unto you. For you are my everything as Barry White said in his song, “you’re the first, the last, my everything.” I will not put anything on a pedestal that the devil can tear-down and use to destroy me like money, material things or others. My mind, body and soul cries out for you Lord.

Scriptures declares you are my salvation, present help in times of trouble, my joy and peace the forever lover of my soul. My comforter, shepherd guide, my friend. Your love for me a sinner passes all understanding. There are times when I am not worthy of your forgiveness, love, compassion, understanding, patience and trust, cause I’ve got problems extending the same to others as you continue for me.

Lord I’m bitter, resentful and a hater cause they hurt me so bad and I condemn all to hell. I can’t trust, I’m fearful so fearful of everthing and everyone. “No mercy in me I did my crying, Lord please, loose me.” I am prejudice, judge and condemn, and very selfish towards others yet I say I love you. If I had powers I would hurt the people who hurt me.

Thank you Lord for holding me back and pulling me out of the things that would of lead me down the wrong path. Psalm 122:1 I was glad when they said unto me, let us go into the house of the Lord. You house Lord, has become the field for me the lost sheep to return and call home where I am properly guided, protected and fed my Shepherd. You alone Lord, can change me

Some asked why wasn’t Mary the mother of Jesus given recognition of importance, but she did and is one of the most important woman of the Bible after all she is the mother of Jesus. It is really not about her fame. The true conflict is should we be praying to her? Yes, because just like Christ our intercessor so is the blessed Mother. It all started in Luke 1:27-28 A virgin named Mary who was engaged to a man named Joseph a descendant of David. The angel went to her and said,”Greetings you are highly favored! The Lord is with you.” Jesus himself before he died on the cross John 19:25-29 “Woman, behold your son!” And to his disciple, Behold your mother.

It was never about Mary or the other main characters of the Bible, but about the most High God. Every true servant understands this. Abraham was God’s friend, David a man after his own heart. Just to name a few main characters of the Bible.

When I think of Mary and what she said yes to, as a mother myself I can’t help of think what it was like for her to be pregnant with the son of God. Mary must had angels watching and guarding her every move even ministering to her for whatever she needed. I imagined Mary glowing in grace, and moving in the glory of God. This pregnancy must have changed everything about Mary and not just her life. She probably had dreams and visions of the future, was able to heal people, after all she had her cousin Elizabeth baby leap in her womb. Where ever she went there must of been so kind of miracles, but was kept secret.

If Moses went up to a mountain and spoke to God in Exodus 3, 4 and 34:29-35 Was given the ability to perform miracles to help the Israelites and after coming down the mountain his face was radiant that it frighten the Israelites. Moses spoke to the Lord and all this happened to him I could just imagine what was happening to Mary with the seed of God growing in her. This is something for everyone to think about. Yes it was all about Jesus, but to see or hear of Mary is like Jesus said, to see me is to see the father together we are one. The disciples are also important just as the followers of them today.

Matthew 5:16 “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” This is telling us that we are representing the most High God. What light do we have that is ours to shine? Genesis 1:27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. So the image of God is the light in us that we must shine even thou we are sinners.

The world shines a light on us with an expectations and a demands we cannot live up to and one err and the light is turned off. The light of the world has a switch that is turned on and off. The light of God that shines through us without any expectations or demands draws people in with truth and righteousness and has no switch, it just keeps shine brighter once ignited by God. The enemy tries its best to turn it off such a light in you, but can only dim it, never completely turn it off. Only the light of God can out shine even light itself, it’s a light beyond any other.

The light that shines on you ( the world’s light) can never be compared to the light that shines through and on you, the light of God. When God shines a light on you people can’t help, but notice you. And when his light is within and on you everything you do and says draws a multitude of people to you. The light is not shining to glorify you, even though some people(servants of God) get caught up in themselves forgetting form where their light originated.

Yes I have Dyslexia. I was never able to understand why as a child I had learning disabilities. I always thought it was because I was just born dum, stupid. I thought to myself I will never learn. No matter how much I studied, read or write I will always have to be helped and corrected. My siblings use to laugh at me when I’d tried really hard and studied for hours and still failed the exams. Math, music, reading and comprehension was the worst for me. I’ve spent my entire life with Dyslexia without ever getting help because I was never diagnosed. Can’t believe at the age of fifty-three it finally came to light why I have such difficulties keeping up with writing my blog and needing my daughter to edit it for me all the time, if you’ve read my blog “I’ve been told”

I never like reading, but the Bible was and is the only book I was able to read and can comprehend. The version that was considered most difficult to understand for many the King James which was given to me by my granny as a child. With words like thou, hath, cometh and more I remembered my sister complaining she couldn’t understand it and she was always smarter than I after all she’s one year older.

With acknowledgement of my condition, this year I’m determine not to allow Dyslexia to prevent me blogging just as I am. This is the only way for me to let go and let God preform a good work in me. I want to practice what I have to preach. Not my will but God’s will be done through and within me. Anyone who’s wondering why I write like I do mistakes and all, this is the reason.

Matthew 27:46 “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani? Which means, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” There’s an interpretation to this that stipulates Jesus was crying out to fulfill what was written in Psalm 22. Don’t know how truthful this is and can’t judge either.

How many times have we ourselves cried out this same thing to God, and have honestly, without a doubt, felt this way. Jesus who says, “to see me, is to see the father, the father and I are one. It is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work.” John 14:9-10 Why would he cry out to himself, is he not God in the flesh 1Timothy 3:16? First Jesus was in the garden of Gethsemane crying out to the Father to take the cup from him. Matthew 26:39. The question is what is happening to Jesus at that pivotal moment?

Luke 1: 31, 34-35 You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. “How will this be,” Mary asked th angel, “since I am a virgin?” The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the Holy one to be born will be called the Son of God.” Jesus is divinity and his mother Mary created in the image of God came together humanity and divinity (flesh and spirit), what a mix! We all understand a little biology and how DNA plays a very important part of our lives from both parents.

One thing when spirit and flesh connects like on the day of Pentecost Acts 2:1-4 there’s an elation, but when the spirit leaves th flesh there’s a ripping away so devastating the flesh(blood) groans and cries out. Genesis 4:10 And the Lord said unto Cain, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground.”

The blood has power and is victorious in its flow. Like flowing water when poured out it’s all energy.

One thing I’ve realized as someone who trying to lead a spiritual life and I say trying because it is a battle; being spiritual in a carnal world. Matthew 26:41 Jesus says, ” the spirit indeed is will, but the flesh is weak.” What a lot of us spiritual people fail to realize is that we have aches and pains, even sicknesses that is hard to treat or explain that cannot be cured by carnal medication for it is an attack of the spirit. Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. We are so connected to everything, like that which is in the universe and on earth. Jesus demonstrated this with his cry out to God like a woman giving birth who in labour and with each contractions not realizing it is the separation and disconnecting(to release, birth) that causes the pain. In Matthew 27:50-51 And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit. At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split,(earthquake).

In conclusion, there are energy forces all around us and that in which we possess through God our father to whom it originated.

Twenty-three years ago I finally decided to go on a retreat to connect with the Almighty. My frustrations with religions( is there really a right and true one) my spirituality and all the unanswered questions about God. One day I had a vision of Love, there’s no other way to describe it. It was about love, forgiveness, patience, mercy, compassion, sacrifice, understanding, wisdom and knowledge. When you’d think about the goodness of God which is within each and everyone of us being created in His image, we can possess it if we choose. That is how she appeared to me, Queen of all Queens, Mary the mother of Jesus, to whom I believed had no importance other than she’s the mother of Jesus.

To make a long story short, after communicating with her I no longer feel that way. Mother Mary took her crown of heaven, crown of the earth and crown of the crucific, placed it on my head and handed the infant Jesus in my arms saying that I am her and she’s me, just as God has entrusted her with Jesus, she also enstrusts me with all God’s children. Whenever you believe you’re not worthy, God says yes you are. It is said we are saved by grace, Ephesians 2:8. But there’s a grace we possess within ourselves through the Holy ghost that enables us to walk, speak and do the impossible, that Mary had, not just favour.

Everyone wants to be a queen, not me. The only thing I could think of is the saying by William Shakespeare “Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.” Luke 12:48 From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. Luke 14:11 For everyone who exalts him or herself will be humble, and the one who humbles themselves will be exalted.Remember Moses in Exodus 4 trying to convince God he was not the man for the job to deliver God’s people out of bondage, I felt that same way.

When God calls you out, you are set apart from the ordinary. It is not you that is the alien or strange, it is the world and it systems of things contrary to the will of God or should I say the way things rightfully should’ve been before man sinned. When God puts a light in you, you can run, but you can’t hide, people always find you out. That light exposes you and then you wonder why so much oppositions from the enemy. For this light that should be for a blessing turns out to be a curse. It is one thing to be envied and jealoused by strangers, but like Joesph in Genesis 37 when he told his family about his dream. Sad, but it can creep into your own family and friends. For the crown of Mary, I have suffered like Joseph. And it is sad because people who don’t know my story assume with the title Empress that I am egotisitical, calling attention on myself. If only it was so. In carrying out my duties, many times I’ve stumbled in more ways than ever, but if it hadn’t been for the Lord who’s on my side. God kept me and is never letting me go, no matter what, as it is said, ” being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ.” Philipians 1:6 I don’t like lying so I would never call myself something I am not. The truth is I love my peace and quiet, don’t want to be noticeable.

Being Empress is not to impress man, but to be a servant of God.

Luke 15:11-32 The Parable of the Prodigal Son, Jesus spoke this story to his disciples about a father who has two sons, a younger and an older. The younger son asked his father for his inheritance( I call his free will), and the father grants his son’s request, without a complaint or a waring of impending doom. The father didn’t whipped his son with threaths like some people do to win souls fo Christ. The father let the son go in faith. The younger son took his inheritance and squandered it( like what many of us do with the free will we are given and uses it for our own bad and selfih ambitions), eventually becoming destitute. In Luke 15:17 Finally he came to himself… It wasn’t written that the son not only came to himself alone, but by the father’s faith, the thing that cannot be seen, that connection in his spirit, the image of his father he was created in burst through within his soul as a reminder to who he is and where he came from. Knowing now that his actions and behavior was wrong and it profit him nothing; he now has to return to his father in humility excepting the fact his father never fought him, but allowed him to go when he had everything he need already, excepting his curiosity of the world without his father discipline and guidance. Before he could reach his father in Luke 15:20 “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him, he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” The younger son confessed to the Father that he has sinned against him and his father didn’t dignify it with an answer, but his called for the servant to bring his son the best rob(a covering for the shame he felf) a ring on his finger (covenant between them) and a sandals for his feet(protection for whatever path he walks). The father gifted and blessed his son, not just because he returned home, but he knew why he had returned home “for if it hadn’t been for the Lord” that’s why the father had the celebration it was a thanks giving for his son being alive and of sound mind.

The older son who was out in the field( about his father business working) returned home to no celebration for him. After all he wasn’t being selfish when he got his inheritance and left his father. He stayed and continued to work for and with his father. He refused to enter the feast for his brother(Luke 15:25-30). But, understand who would ever think by doing what is believed to be right and noble, seems to be a bad thing when those who do wrong seems to get so much attention and blessings. It’s like the Jesus with the sinners and not the Pharisee, the Jews and the Gentile, working all day to get paid as someone who worked for an hour or to find out all that you thought you were doing as a Christian according to what you interpret about the Bible is wrong to you even prosecuting and condemning people. It would be like the older brother make you angry to go into a celebration for them also.

The father explanation for his action towards the younger brother is he was, dead but now alive again Luke 15:32 he was only celebrating his son finding his way, by realizing that what he believe that would bring him happiness was only short lived and instead devastation. The fact that he pleaded with his older son to come into the celebration and all that he has is his also, because he is always with him Luke 15:31. This show the Father was showing no favoritism that his concerns was about both his son’s and they are very important to him despite their differences in the choices they made for their lives.

The Prodigal son, this parable explains to us that as human beings not two of us are the same even though we are siblings and family. The love of God for us is, like that of being a parent. A parent loves and care for their children despite their inadequacy. No matter what they do as long as they understand that home has a revolving door when the world has gotten to hard. But one thing return home with humility, gratitude and respect. The son didn’t return home with the same attitude he left with. Life had thought him there’s no place like home, the safe place where you’re guided, protected, taught and cared for.