All the time we thought ourselves to be living and enjoying our best life as we understood it to be. In all honesty we were really just going through emotions of expectations of society derived from traditions we consider as being normal. Reality is, our norms, traditions has now be abolished and it scares the hell out of us. Not everyone likes change and we are now going through drastic change.

We speak about authenticity of oneself, “keeping it one hundred.” The truth is, we’re are born and then we die, and of all things to keep a hundred, is this fact. Our authenticity can be difficult because can be conflicted due to the pressures of life and society. Sometimes we have no other choice but to conform to an ever changing world and our life.

The pandemic is the awaken to the fact that Jesus is returning. Simply because, like in the movies when we see a drastic scene in slow motion so we can see exactly what’s taken place before our eyes, no mistakes or probabilities. It is slow down so we can take a very good look at the intricate details of what’s happening. This is what the pandemic has brought to us about life. And instead of it truly opening our eyes, mind and heart with faith, to all the repetition of evil we seems to continue to do, it inflamed our negative emotions. We didn’t give the opportunity to allow God in, we have given over to the devil. We’re blocking the process of the Holy Spirit work within, by our behaviour in not resisting the negative forces. Things are getting really bad and out of hand. God’s presence is felt and seen whenever humanity is at a brink of destruction. For those who have eyes to see and ears to hear.

We are a bunch of angry and bitter individuals. Over stimulation of negative emotions has fallen upon us. Why would we be hateful to others because of race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, social injustice… God doesn’t make mistakes, but we do! Everything and everyone has a purpose. Being human, as to say, there’s always a glitch in our system, and it’s call the flesh, which is vulnerable to negativity. We’re all feeling something very powerful going on today and it’s effecting all humanity.

Influences to our negativity are things such as money, next to the devil is our greatest temptation. We’d do anything for it, especially in the world today, it’s our God. Who needs God when having, money can make certain people feel empowered that they believe themselves to be all powerful having money to provide whatever and do whatever. Sex, trafficking, prostitution, adults, children, addictions… God created making love for simply that “love” and to procreate, not to hurt and destroy lives. Marriages, children, family has become our check list of our accomplishments instead of our true purpose according to the will of God. And as for family, many people are having a hard time remembering the true meaning, there’s way too many divisions. “You are your brother’s keeper.” Selfishness, narcissism, mental illness…is the demons we’re battling. We’re losing sight of who we are the more we drift away from God.

Everything in the dark has now come to light, no stone is unturned, just turn on the internet, social media is on blast. Revelation has been unfolding and is now coming to fruition. Nothing is hidden or lost that can’t be found, or a mystery that cannot be solved. We are even seeing through the third eye, which has become tangible, a camera and video. The things that once was unseen by the naked eyes can now be seen through these devises. Science and God has become one. There’s a life, like another world that people are living that is unconscionable and so many of us were unaware. For us who are living the good life as we consider it to be, we’re in our safe place, but there are those who are in a hard place and for us all, God is concerned.

How well learnt are we? We are given the word, the knowledge of obedience to the will of God and its consequences. But it seems like we’re stuck and still lost in sin. Jesus is coming once again because of the summons of our cry, a cry of desperation, hopeless, and suicide. We’ve come a long way to be getting off track, definitely we are completely off.

Like the vaccine for Covid, how badly do we want things to reopen, hug your loved ones, travel and do all things we once took for granted? Then take the vaccine! It the only way, regardless of whatever conspiracy theories. This is the same when being obedient to the will of God, if we want our world to be a better place and go to heaven when you die, we must do what it takes. It is our stubbornness and disobedience that bring about the problem we face in life.

How many times when things go wrong in our lives some how it’s God fault, “what!” He enjoys seeing us troubled?” Really! I have an problem in believing that God does bad things to us so we can come running to him for help. Only man can stoop that low concerning the treatment of each other.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son…

God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do? Or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good? The devil is a deceiver when he convinces us other wise and we ourselves believe. We are given free will by God. He never created us to be robots, programmed to just do as we’re told.

It’s about time we except the fact that our lives is not without trials, sometimes totally out of our control. If we’d truly understand that for every action there’s a reaction; cause and effect of life, then we’d all strive live to righteous. We are all linked together, surrounded by negative and positive energy. Like the sun and moon in the sky which doesn’t select according to you personality to shine on you or not, whether good or bad we all have access. So whether you are a very good person, the bad that can be happening to you in your life sometimes has nothing to do with anything you’ve done. It is all to do with energies, understand we ourselves are energy, the breath of life within us. So with discipline and obedience as taught in the Bible by God or whatever beliefs one may have, we can except or fight when bad things happens. It is through our faith in God which is the only that enables us to stand.

Luke 15:11-32 The parable of the prodigal son(lost son). There was a man who had two sons and his youngest ask his father for his inheritance. So the father divided his property between them and the youngest took his and left home. He squandered his inheritance and ended up homeless and having to become someone servant. Unlike his father, no one give him anything, he had to work. From a prince to working as a peasant in someone’s field feeding pigs. So desperate and hungry, pig food was now looking good for him to eat. He decided better for him to go back home where he could get a good meal, apologize to his father and be his father servant instead. His father saw him coming at a distance, ran to him and hugged and kissed him, as he apologized to his father. His father then call for a rob to cover him, and threw him the greatest celebration for his return. His older brother was very angry over the party for his brother after all he messed up, not deserving of a party. The father explained everything he has is is his oldest, but his brother was dead and is alive again, lost and is found.

Like the prodigal son, everything we’ve chosen to do with our lives is our responsibility and the consequences lays on us. Our lives is our inheritance and some of us squander it with not making the best of it. We could clearly see his father did nothing to prevent him from doing what he wanted, with no argument he just give him his inheritance and allowed him to leave. The father is like God to us. But unlike the son, we’d probably blame the father for not trying to prevent us when things go wrong, even though we’d rebel at the word “no”typically human nature. Let’s be honest, as a parent we’d at least argue, try to make logical sense to our child why it would be a bad idea for him or her to take such actions in their lives. We call it protection, caring and love, with our actions.

There’s not much details about the father after letting the son go. Did he worried, prayed, cried, what was his state of mind? It was always preached that the son was lost and his return meant that he was found and forgiven. But the truth is, it took something bad to happen to him, for his return. The father wasn’t sitting around plotting what he must do to his son for him to return home, either by sending out spies to keep an eye on him or reeking havoc all around him so he’ll have no other choice. The father seemed to have anticipated that his son would returned. And I believe God is anticipating that all of us in the world no matter what will return back to him also, sin can no longer prevent us. After all he sent Jesus to make sure of that, and to think, there’s going to be a great celebration for us all.

The older sons attitude is like that of the devil towards us man. Instead of being happy for us when we come to the wisdom, knowledge, understanding and obedience of the will God, he make sure all our flaws is pointed out and to make it all about himself.

John 19:26-27 When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “woman, behold your son!” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.

This is not suppose to be just a Good Friday message as most Christians thought as it to be, Mary at the foot of cross crying looking at her son as he fulfilled his mission. This is Jesus honouring his mother with love like for us all as we celebrate Mother’s Day. For those time it may have seemed like Jesus neglected her for everyone else, at he began his ministry. As written and recorded in the Bible, 1. Luke 2:41-49 Jesus took off on his parents as a young boy and they found him after a few days in the temple. As a mother I could only imagine what it was like for Mary. 2. Matthew 12:46 -49 while Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, “your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.” He replied to him, “who is my mother, and who are my brothers?”pointing to his disciples, he said, “here are my mother and brothers.”Awe!!! That hurts. “Really Jesus so you’re disrespecting your mama like that?” Anyone in their right mind would think or ask. 3. John 2:1-5 Jesus turns the water into wine. Verse 3 When the wine was gone, Jesus mother said to him, “ they have no more wine.” “Woman, why do you involve me?” Jesus replied. “My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, Do whatever he tells you.” Mary has proven here that she’s in authority as his mother and to be respected, that in her silence after her statement he did what he was told, without an argument. This is the first time it showed typical normal parenting relationships between Jesus and his mother. Jesus must have been an adolescent then, the age of rebellion. Never in the the Bible has Mary been shown by Jesus his love and honour but by this heart felt words of declaration to her at the cross. It was at the time her heart was ever so broken, heavy and overwhelmed with grief at the sight of her beloved child.

“Can a mother’s tender care cease towards the child she bear.” Mary was chosen by God to be able to carry out such a purpose. Every mother has to follow like Mother Mary in the purpose of God for our children. Mary knew what she was getting herself into and from the beginning it all was nothing but difficulty from his conception, birth to his death. If it isn’t easy for us mothers today with our natural children, Imagine what it probably be like for a mother with divine child, with a divine purpose. When I think of mothers who has children that are what is considered star because of their fame and fortune like actors, musicians, singer, prince and princess, models and the list goes on. You endure the good as well as the bad about your child spoken by people who doesn’t really personally know them and those who just used them for their own gain. The bullies who tries to shame and bring them down, “ohhh, the cost of fame and fortune, is it worth it?” One who’s touch my heart deeply above anyone is Katherine Jackson, the mother of Pop Icon Micheal Jackson. Whenever I picture what Mary would of been like with Jesus I see her in the way she was with Michael Jackson her son. I never forget how she supported him, a God fearing woman with the spirit of a warrior when it came to her children. I could see it in her eyes, and in her emotional felt words, “don’t you dear hurt my child”every interview every time she was at his side in court for the allegations of child molestations. As mothers no matter how difficult a child life may turn out for us to handle we always have to remember it is prayer, love and faith in the will of God to help turn it around. Mother warriors never give up on their children, but see them through till the end. That’s what Mary had done. God never gives us more than we can handle.

When I think Mary had thirty-three years to witness the development her son Jesus on earth and he was extraordinary brilliant. No mother want to ever experience the lost of a child whether at birth, newborn, infant, toddler, preschool, school age and adolescents through adulthood. Regardless through all the pain and hurt just think of it as a divine purpose like Jesus. Jesus’ thirty-three years must of felt like forever with the things his mother and family would have had to endure about his divine nature. I could just image the ridicule and curiosity. Mary probably constantly had to hide Jesus abilities, run people away from her child who’d found out about it, and do whatever it took for him to fulfill his destiny.

I believe that though it was not written in scripture, Mary had secret abilities not shared with any but Jesus. There’s no way that such power being immaculate conception can be in a person and not change you. If water baptized can change us to be reborn, image carrying the very thing in you that’s give the water it’s power. Think of this, Mary probably never had to worry about anything because God provided. Like my husband when I was pregnant, if you have ever seen or experienced a doting father when a wife is pregnant then you knows what I mean. He move heaven and earth to make her happy, comfortable, protected, loved and lack nothing. To think that’s nothing but a natural man, just image a divine father and what he’ll probably be like.

Conclusion Mary wasn’t just given to the disciple that Jesus loved there’s no favouritism with God. Jesus give his mother to the world in recognition of her divine purpose. If she could be mother to God’s divine child and we all are his children. At the cross she was give authority and recognition to use her abilities, parenting skills in making sure the disciples in the time of their needs continue like him to fulfill their purpose and destiny. Mother Mary was the one who gather them together in the room after Jesus death and spoke to them all to stand and be strong it’s what he would of require of them all. Instead of them comforting her at the lost of her son she was comforting them.

A mother is equal to a doctor, nurse, maid, psychologist, teacher, wife, daughter, sister, friend; you name it, like God, so many things but one. That was Mother Mary purpose and our purpose also when we ourselves become mothers. To be able to do all this we can only do it successfully like Mary with an unwavering relationship with God.

Having a discussion with my husband this morning about how far he came in his walk with God. We were reminiscing on how he felt about tithing. He once believed like so many others do, tithing is a get rich hustle of the religious institutions to manipulate the vulnerable and faithful. All the while the religious leaders living lavish life style thanks to the faithful congregation, especially those who’s probably living paycheque to paycheque. He was so adamant that I stop giving our hard earned money to a church I was moved by the spirit to start tithing with after ten years of watching on television and then I began on the internet faithfully. I loved very much what the Bishop would preached and it began to influence and motivate my life immensely. Now after eight years of faithfully tithing he’s finally understood through the blessings received, tithing is one of the commandments of God that when obedient it makes our lives so much better. God doesn’t need money or anything and the church that we tithe with also doesn’t need money or anything because it’s well established, a Mega church. When we give it was given back ten fold, in every aspect of our live. The proof was in the before and after effect. We planted our seed in faith, not for wealth, but we wanted to trust God to help others. We also give to various other charities in our community even to animal shelters they also need to be cared for. He learned that freely give, freely you receive. What a man does in secrete God rewards openly.

In the midst of our discussion it came to me, “the first shall be last and the last shall be first.” Out of the blue, I knew it all had to do with my husband and the way he’d felt about tithing. And in hearing this in my head I thought, “the stone that the build rejects become the head stone of the corner.” This brought me to the thought of Jesus on the road to Calvary. We always preach about Jesus on the road to Calvary, but forgot that there were two others that walk that road with him. I envisioned Jesus being whipped and struggling to carry the cross like that which is depicted in the scenes on television about his life, death and resurrection. Then I saw what I’ve never even thought of like a picture in my head, Jesus carrying the cross was at the end of the line. The first in line was the wicked thief. The one who said if he was truly the son of God why can’t he help himself. And second was the thief who said, “we deserve what’s happening to us, but this man is innocent and then he perceived to ask Jesus to be in paradise with him. Jesus then replied surely he shall be this day.

Like a picture being played on a screen, so was it for me to see Jesus as he was walking and struggling with the cross he was carrying. Each time he fell, he pick up something in his spirit from the powers of the earth and clothed himself with it and the thief, the second man who stole not for evil, but a necessity for survival conscious of the crowd who was crying and pleading for Jesus kept on looking back at him and became moved by it all. I could see he had a good heart and mind. But the first was just a bitter, full of anger, and wicked person. He didn’t care to live or die, seems more like he gave up in life. He’s resentful, full of hate and could careless about anyone but himself. Not once did he ever look back or cared about the other two death mates. He walked in all his emotions of bitterness to Calvary to lay besides Jesus. Like the devil as he tormented Jesus in life with the likes of the Pharisees, Judas, the temptation in the wilderness and Peter his disciple trying to prevent him from doing the Father’s will, once by saying he shouldn’t go to Jerusalem to suffer many things and then cutting off the ear of the soldier in the garden of Gethsemane. Here’s the devil again trying to mock and torment Jesus as in life as it’s now his death. That’s the reason Jesus had to be crucified with these two who represented humanity in our weakness through temptation.

Jesus fought in the flesh, but had to also conquer the powers and principalities of the earth. His falling down on the way to the cross was the vibration of his spirit letting go into the earth as well as pulling from it. He carried at every step he made to Calvary the weight of the world and all that dwell there in.

Jesus was the last to make it to Calvary, but was the first to die out of all the men. Think on this for a moment, Why? Remember, “the last shall be first and the first…The stone that the builder refused!” For some of us we’re like these two thieves when it comes to the things of God. But just to know that no matter if we’re good or bad, like Jesus between those two so God is with us all, dying to save us. Jesus was carrying even the wicked thief with him to paradise regardless, but unlike the good thief not that day because he didn’t asked, but at the resurrection. Jesus died to set all us sinners free.

I saw in my vision every step Jesus took behind those two men was to pick up after them, cleaning them up. From his falling down to getting up and let’s not forget those in the crowd around him who cried and those who hated. What a burden of emotional torment anyone would have to endure. And the thought in Jesus mind is to love all no matter what and not think to destroy the haters. A love so strong that changed the world to this day. And we ourselves have to do the same, “Wow!” Holy Spirit of truth, revealed the woman who ran to give water to Jesus and Simon who was told to help Jesus carry his cross to Calvary did not do so because Jesus couldn’t fulfill his destiny to make it to the cross as prophesied to die, but to pass on what Jesus has done to some how impute it to man. Like God intervened and said, “Christ isn’t going to bear the cross alone and all the world go free.” We got to take up the cross and just like Simon who helped Jesus, Jesus also will help us carry it. He set an example for all to follow on the road to Calvary. Unlike those who teaches to do what they say, but not what they themselves would do. In other words practice what you preach. Jesus did exactly that!

Sadly one year ago on April 28, 2020, I lost my Father to Covid-19. I took for granted he’d always be around, especially when I think of the times I should of made it more a priority to visit than I did. “Don’t we all who has lost a love one say this same thing, I could of! Should of!” Gone too soon without a chance for me to say goodbye. The image of him laying sick in a bed alone without someone to hold his hand and attend to his every needs, keeps playing in my mind. It’s devastating the places hit the first and hardest with the pandemic and lost of so many lives was the retirement homes for the elderly with fewer staff to help out because they themselves contracted the disease. Like this happens to make us recognize the importance of our responsibilities in caring for our aging parents not someone else. But the world today doesn’t allow us, even with our children, they give to stranger from as young as six months, “Why?”Because we all must work, both mothers and fathers.

The pandemic like some sort of punishment to our humanity is the worst time to loose a love one. My father’s body had to remain in the funeral home for a long period of time before we could have his funeral and to add to my grievances living in another province didn’t help. Then there was a limitation to how many people could attend. “If it hadn’t been for God, I don’t know how I would of made it through.” The thought of God who has given man the breath of life, and that breath is our spirit. All I could do to not worry about his body laying around waiting was to envision my father’s spirit going back to the arms of God which the most important than his body, the vessel for his spirit. I pray for him to be in the arms of the Father resting and at peace letting go of this world. I thought about how many others going through the same thing, getting that phone call of the passing of a loved one and you’re so far away.

My father would not have gotten the award as a good father from any of his children, he was very awful at it. It seemed to my siblings, like I was the apple of his eyes, out of thirteen children, but he loved us all very much. He spoke about each and everyone of his children with such pride. He was very proud of us all, he bragged about us to his friends and even acquaintances we’d meet. I was the only one who had the heart and patience to put up with him. He one day confessed the reason him and my other siblings couldn’t get along is because they were too much like him and he laughed. He knew me better than I knew myself. He’ll always refer to me when I was child as being an old soul. My father had a way of making me feel like I can do and be anything, just set my mind to it. He put me on a pedestal and I never wanted to disappoint. He believed me to be compassionate, merciful, loving and caring….And I was because I wanted so desperately to please him. He taught me about God and the spirituality in the world. My father was the first person to preach God to me at the age of ten and not religion. He told me to follow God and God alone not man. He’d say things like be a leader in God’s business not a follower, and I am gifted. My dad made me want to be the best person I could ever be. He believed in me and trust I will always do the right things. It was very hard on me when I’d messed up and do wrong, but all the more reason, for his sake I fought to make it right. That’s what I love about him despite his short comings he was my greatest motivator. His role in my life was like that of God, my tur Father in heaven I’d say to myself at times in the way he loved, trust and believed in me even when I didn’t. When we’d talked especially about God, I could feel his passion and understood where I got it from. I understood him not through him, the man, but that part in him, the spiritual side. He fought hard between the flesh and the spirit, it’s what made him so awful at times.

My father my hero. As a baby no more than three years old, I remember my father had gone abroad, and I was so distraught at his leaving I got very ill, wanting to go with him. My father use to take us kids for a ride in his car whenever we’d cried to go along with him. I was shown an airplane and told that’s what my father went away on and it became a comfort. So every time I saw one while playing outside I would say, “daddy, daddy is coming,” jumping with joy. I believed so wholeheartedly it was him coming to get me. I don’t recall how many times maybe I’ve done that until one day he really did come. I was in a serious situation and prayed to God that my dad would come and rescue me, sure enough out of the blue he showed up. Another time having my first child almost died and he showed up to take me to the hospital even volunteered to give blood, first time I realized we were the same blood type.

The relationship I had with my dad, I can now look back on and say we both have nothing lift unsaid. We talked, laughed, cried and know each other’s truth and adoration. Words cannot express my gratitude to God, for I know in my heart, “ if it hadn’t been for the Lord,” my father and I relationship wouldn’t have been such a blessing because He was always present in it. I always knew in my heart as young woman if a man can’t treat me like my dad, with the love, respect, support, honesty…”He ain’t worth my time or love.”

“Rest In Peace Daddy!”

Paul the Apostle, formally known as Saul of Tarsus a Pharisee, and a murderer of the followers of Christ. When on the road to Damascus, himself was converted to be a follower of Christ. Paul is one of greatest advocate for our Lord and savior Jesus consider the founder of Christianity. He is the major figure within the early Christian movement and played a crucial role in spreading the gospel to the Gentiles (non-Jews). Also considered one of the greatest religious leaders of all time because his books in the Bible has a enormous influence on Christianity. He wrote thirteen books out of twenty-seven in the New Testament and started more than a dozen churches.

I couldn’t help but wonder, why was Paul chosen for such a task and not one of Jesus’s disciples? He was not one who loved and cared about Jesus and his mission, but an adversary. Paul, I should say is more like a police, prosecutor and judge because to make sure people upholds the religious laws and traditions as written, he prosecuted and killed anyone who didn’t and was a threat to it, as were Jesus and those who followed him. Paul was a man of Faith, but was fighting on the wrong side of it by believing his human perspective of God was the truth and only way.

The Holy Spirit, revealer of God truth says, “Paul like Judas was betraying God in what he was doing to the followers of Christ. What happened to Paul on the way to Damascus is the proof of the resurrection power of Jesus. When people say things like, “if Jesus was truly the one, the Messiah, then the end of all suffering we go through because of sin would have come to an end and we should be living in peace and joy now, not still suffering and death.” It seems like nothing had changed when so much has, through Jesus. We all now have access whereas before we didn’t to draw closer to God, we also know we don’t have to fear death anymore, and so much more. Paul became the manifestation of the promises of God to man. Kingdom rule (law) free will no longer exist as it did before. What’s happened was spiritual, not for the natural understand when realizing Saul wasn’t given a choice to change. He was reborn, not by water, but by the light, fire and the Holy Ghost (Jesus) according to Matthew 3:11 Baptized and became Paul the Apostle, Acts 9:1-19 On the road to Damascus, Saul as he was known died.

Jesus showed us here with Paul what he’d said on the cross to the Father, “forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Because we truly don’t! So for all us sinners, God do recognize and understand we’re inadequate, can’t help ourselves in the wrongs that we do. When I envisioned Paul encounter with Jesus, like Adam and Eve in the Garden naked, I saw Paul naked and ashamed also knowing he’s done wrong. But this time instead of animal skin to cover him up Jesus covers him with his spirit. “Doesn’t this makes you cry?” It is not something you can see, have the fear someone can remove from you or it can be lost, but the most powerful covering we can ever receive. This enabled Paul to be so great at all he’s done. It made Paul (man), for the first time after Jesus resurrection carrying the weight of his own sins, (Matthew 16: 24) “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” Unlike Jesus who carried the sins of the world. Paul suffer and went through many things and face them head on with dignity, without wavering for his sins. For this reason we must understand when asking, “why do bad things happen to the good people?” People, we are not good, we all sin and has fallen short and have to pay the price. And like Paul, just because we read of him being and doing good deads, didn’t mean he’s always been good. If his past was not disclosed to us, even at his own confessions in the Bible we’d be so ignorant in believing him to be perfect like Jesus. He transformed completely and became a man of divinity. Just as Jesus was one with the Father to fulfill His will, Paul also through Jesus and we today must likewise, be one and continue to fulfill our Father will.

Paul encounter with Jesus is proof that as a man or woman we no longer could use the excuse the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Jesus resurrection has strengthened the flesh to walk hand and hand in one accord with the spirit. According to Paul himself who wrote 1Timothy 6:12 “Fight the good fight of Faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

Judas agrees to betray Jesus Matthew 26:14-16 Then one of the twelve, the one called Judas Iscariot went to the chief priests and asked, “What are you willing to give me if I deliver him over to you?” So they counted out for him thirty pieces of silver. From then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over.

When we think of Judas one of Jesus’s twelve disciples, closest and confident friend who betrayed him. No one wants to be associated to what is known as the villain that got Jesus kill. When people are referred to as a Judas, we all can come to the one and only conclusion, someone that will stab you in the back, betray you and not to be trusted.

Judas is proof that God knows everything about each and everyone of us, nothing that we can ever do or say surprises God. He has a plan for all our lives according to the role he created for us play in his destiny for our lives as well as that of others. At the last supper when Jesus said that he was going to betrayed by the one who dipped his had into the bowl with him, will be the one. “Woe to the man that would do it, for it would be better if he had not been born.” Jesus had already proven to us as we’d read on that he was well aware of what exactly is going to happen in his future. He prophesied about it, it all happened accordingly. I was suprised as Judas replied like if he’s unaware of what he was about to do when he already had the thirty pieces of silver in his picket. The nerve of him to ask “surely you don’t mean me Rabbi?” (Matthew 26:23-25).

As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him. So Jesus told him, “what you are about to do, do quickly.”(John 13:27). Jesus knew all this time Judas was the one going to betray him, he just confirm it by saying do it quickly. Not one of the other disciples seems to have caught on to what Jesus said or did they? Jesus did this before with Peter when he’d ask all his disciples, “who do they say that I am?” Peter was able to identify Jesus as the Messiah, the son of God. Jesus told Peter that it was not revealed to him by flesh and blood, but by the Father in heaven. But when Jesus told them he was going to go to Jerusalem  and suffer many things and that he must be killed. Peter then began to rebuke him saying, never shall this ever happened to him, and Jesus turned and said to Peter, “get behind me Satan!”(Matthew 16:15-23).

Once again it seems that Satan has entered one of Jesus’s disciples to possess him and Jesus was very much aware. The pattern here is there’s no defence to stop the devil from ever having access to man and preventing  man from allowing him. I believed in my ever so sensitive, loving and compassionate heart that Jesus was being too hard on Peter for caring about his well being, until I understood the devil do come in disguise as good especially to prevent us from doing God’s will by making us think we’re doing good. The will of God was for Jesus to take our sins upon him and sacrifice himself for us. From this incident between Peter and Jesus, it thought me to always pray to God for discernment in all matters, to be like Jesus, to know when something is of God or the devil, even when appears to be a good thing or bad. Romans 8:28 “All things work together for the good of those who love God, who have been called according to his purpose.” For example: Mary the mother of Jesus was engaged to Joseph, had to tell him she was pregnant with the son of God. What a devastating situations for the both of them to be in, but God! And it worked out.

We ourselves are all Judas vulnerable to the devil. Judas was the representation of our humanity imperfection and fragility which lead us into temptations and death (sin). We have an innocent, like that of Eve in the garden. God didn’t put up fences to prevent both her and Adam from access to the forbidden tree and temptation of the devil. But Jesus came and changed it all for us through his life, death and resurrection, if only we’d hold strongly to this Faith. Jesus is now foundation in which we can stand, the barrier and the force within us the devil cannot penetrate to get us. If we’d just keep the Faith.

I was ever so blown away to learn Judas action in betraying Jesus for thirty pieces of silver compared to that of Peters was good. Why? Because Judas like Jesus, was fulfilling God’s will. I was at a lost, even though it was bad? I questioned. But Peter even though it may seem like it meant good was not. According to Jesus the devil possessed Peter to say what he did, when he plead for Jesus not to go to Jerusalem and suffer many things and be killed. He was being a hindrance to God’s will.

John 16:8  Jesus said, “the Holy Spirit would come and he will prove the world to be in the wrong about sin, and righteousness and judgement.”

We celebrate the birth, life, death and resurrection of Jesus, the completion of his work in the world as he himself said on the cross, “it is finished, John 19:30. Understanding that his work was to bring man back to God, the way He had intented at the beginning with Adam. Jesus came as the manifestation of God’s will through all he’d done and had to endure. Jesus was one with the Father (John 10:30) and also with man as he came into the world through a virgin name Mary Luke 1:27-38. He’s is proof that man can overcome the bondage of sin. Flesh and spirit can co-exist with balance through his example of obedience and discipline to the Father’s will.

After Easter we should all acknowledging the Holy Spirit presence within our lives. Read, meditate on the Word of God, searching within our hearts and mind if we’re living accordingly, by being in the world but not of it. Jesus doesn’t have to return to and be crucified over and over again, neither the Holy Ghost after him each time, who remains forever our comforter and Jesus our salvation. Once again we are blinded by being caught up in the world. Our priority is in what we desire and long for most and God is not it, for the majority of us today. Man, I believe has hit the pinnacle of evolution with sciences and technology. We now have NASA’s Perseverance rover which landed on Mars. Who needs a God? When now, we believe we have all the answers and know how, right!

Jesus said, ” I will ask the Father, and and He will give you another Help ( Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor–Counselor, Strengthener, Standby), to be with you forever.” Amplified Bible.  We should never have to feel lost, confused or alone, especially  the times we’re living in the world today, we need to understand this more than ever. Don’t wait for the day of Pentecostal, it has already came and the comforter is here.

When Jesus was here in the flesh, so many of us refused to except and acknowledged he was the son of God. It is even more difficult for us with the Holy Spirit for us to whom we can’t see. As with God, it is only by Faith in which he can be revealed onto us. It’s our freedom of will which also plays an important part if we chose to believe by Faith. John 20:29 Jesus said unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed. Blessed are they that have not seen and yet have believe.”

It took twelve stranger, Jesus disciples chosen by Father for his purpose to leave all that they know, their entire lives, family friends whatever, to follow Jesus. We have to think to ourselves where this is concerning us Christians of today. We are no longer disciples like they were, we are Faithful and blessed because we haven’t seen and been with Jesus like they have. Through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross many I believe like myself are born this way. Born, chosen for God’s purpose admits all the struggle you may had to endured in life, your faith, love and hopefulness in God never ever wavers. It’s not even an emotion, but a fact of knowing the existence of the true and living God within you.

The Holy Ghost is continually operating on our behalf in the world today. For those who have eyes to see, and ears to hear what the Lord is doing and saying to us.

What it meant for me to wrestle with God like Jacob? I was tired and fed up with life and it’s constant struggles with the evil that’s in our world. Why can’t life just be good and remain that way without the roller coaster ride? And to mention, I am people tired. Don’t get me wrong I am aware there’s good and bad people in our world, but the bad is too much to bear. It takes so much energy to deal with them. There are those who suck you dry of your virtue by their constant dependency on you and those who are just pure evil. I’ve been so beaten up in my heart, mind and spirit by the bad things that happened to me for my love and kindness to others, leavening me bitter and angry, very angry and bitter even to hating myself for being so naive and foolish where they are concerned.

Many times I screamed, ” I am not Jesus, I am a sinner, born into sin, wasn’t not conceived by the Holy Spirit. No matter how much I love you Lord, the spirit is willing, but my flesh truly is weak because I want to cuss, fight and even punch them in the face.” I often thought to myself in my rage, “now I understanding why the devil hated humanity, we’re really a bunch of messed up beings, the way we treat one another because of race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, social status… Desiring power and control to possess the entire world when not one of us is perfect. We are so prejudice and hateful to each other that we leave nothing for the devil to do to us that’s evil. I would sometimes imagine the devil saying to God, “look at them, told you so, but yet you consider them worth saving.” I picture God like a good doting parent making excuses for our behavior, even towards him. Worst than the devil, it’s like we’re provoking God to be more severe on us in his discipline towards us for our wrong doings.

One day I’d decided to fast and pray until God blesses me with the knowledge, wisdom and understanding of it all. Being so frustrated and tired of all the negative things reported in the news, I couldn’t help but believe the world is coming to an end. Humanity are way out of control and we definitely need Jesus, now. Like Jacob, I decided not stop fasting and praying until God gives me an answer to, “why?” I remembered saying, even if my health is jeopardize, I will not give up till the Lord blessed me, like he did Jacob. “Be careful what you pray for!”

When Jacob wrestle with the man (angel) he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched. “Let me go, for it is daybreak,” said the man. Jacob replied, ” I will not let you go unless you bless me.” Genesis 32:25-27. What I understood the meaning of the touch was to inflict pain because pain is the power to ignite healing when at the brink of despair to rebirthing something new within us. Pain signifies and activates our sensations and emotions. The man (angel) didn’t touch Jacob to prevent him from wrestling with him, he touched him to release the pressure of the pain from his heart and mind. His touch was to weaken the flesh and strengthen his spirit which was already at work.

Pain, suffering, heart aches and all manner of brokenness has never been part of God’s plans for humanity, it is not part of life it’s part of sin. Like Jacob we have the ability and strength within us to stand and fight, rebuke it from taking control over our lives. Jacob was courageous to confront and challenge the source of his afflictions, himself, the image of God, in which he was created. We are given free will, and there’s a price to pay even though it’s suppose to be free because of sin. Free will can brings good as well as bad, when not discipline within us. Jacob was wrestling with God to take back the free will, because he was not worthy to possess it, too much for him to handle with all the pain and suffering he had to endured in his life. He recognized the only way to go forward is through the will of God not his or any man’s.

The spirit of God shall not always strive with man, Genesis 6:3. All the reason to remember to pray, ” Lord protect us from all weaknesses that leads us to temptations, .” Jesus came and his life death and resurrection changed everything for all humanity, so stand firm in the new found liberty we’ve been given through him. Seek wisdom, knowledge and understanding till you find it.

I see it in your eyes, how much your brother means to you. There’s love, there so much love between you two, “so stop it! Stop the self righteousness and judgement on your brother.” You know, he’s always been free spirited like your mother and yes you do worry about him and felt you’re responsible for protecting and watching out for him since your mother passed, but he’s grown. Just remember you both are the prize possession of your mother, her legacy she left for the world, who loves her and still today mourn for her. You guys all we have of her, so fight if you want like all siblings do, but it’s time to make up and be a family regardless.

When I think of your mother and father relationship, I am angry that it seems like selfishness and wanting things ones own way with no compromise that destroyed it, and just plain stubbornness. Don’t make the same mistake that can undoubtedly let us lose interest in the monarch. The both of you, like your mother Princess Diana, for me and I believe many others, if I can speak for them, were the change the monarchy needed to keep us hopeful and excited for the future of the monarch.

You don’t be your father and put your brother in the position like that of your mother. Don’t allow history to repeat itself with you both. Make the difference that both your father and mother together couldn’t. Please allow your grand mother and our Queen Elizabeth to live out her last days in peace. Enough is enough, the monarch needs to get into the twenty-first century. All the bickering, fighting and negative views of the monarch needs to be addressed and made right and a front of unity of the entire family needs to establish in front of the cameras and behind closed doors. Do whatever it takes to continue the Queen reign in the most powerful and influential way.

As a mother I want to see all my children get along with love respect, communication, support and unity with each other especially whenever that time comes and I pass on. So I sincerely believe in my heart that your mother, Princess Diana would want the same as any mother would. “A family that prays together, stays together.” This is a fact even though it is not always without problems.

Who am I? A nobody, who became a somebody because of the love of Jesus.