We’re coming into the New Year with uncertainties, old situations unsolved and things that has been plaguing us for some time. Our faith is on trial. Can we all say like Job,”Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him?” Job13:15

We have to be able to stand up in the midst of our trials and say, “we love the Lord, He’s still good regardless of life situations.“ Giving thanks and praise for all the good in the bad. When we think about His words. John 1:1 “In the beginning was the word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” Jeremiah 29:11 “ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Let our faith stand strong planted in the foundation of the life, death and resurrection of Christ Jesus. John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, that he give his only begotten Son, that whosever believe in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”Let not the truth of the son of God be a lie in our lives. The truth of Jesus existence is to help us today, back then and for all eternity. His sacrifice and love is still at work for us. It continues as long as we believe.

We are covered and propped on every bending side. His strength is made strong in our weakness, 2Corinthians 12:8-10. So with this understanding we must lean on the Lord. Don’t ask why me? But rather say, “ not my will, but thy will be done, Lord.” Realizing this too shall pass. All things are possible through God. The fire may be burning, even on the water which is the element to destroy it, but the creator of both the fire and water is in control. It’s out of our hands, so let it go and allow the Lord’s.

It’s sad that it seem like what am blogging is all about gloom and doom. The truth is our world is in a serious crisis and more than ever we need God. We can’t look to each other for help, cause right now, useless is the help of man. We need the powerful intervention of the Lord. Psalm 121:1-2 I will lift up mine eyes unto the hill, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.

John 19:26-27 When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, woman, behold thy son! Then saith he to the disciple, behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.

Jesus on the cross with what little strength left in his fleshly body, before his death, symbolically give his mother to us all. It was a statement to her as well as to us that she had completed her task in full as a mother, a great loving, compassionate, caring, and good mother. Mary was given the task to now mother all that’s in the world. Remember as John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son…” Jesus, gave also his mother Mary whom he love, to the world as God has given him, Jesus, to the world.

Mary, her husband Joseph nor the disciples were to be magnified until the death of Jesus. On the day of Pentecost was when it all took place. Jesus mother Mary and disciples was given authority through the other comforter, the Holy Ghost that fell upon them to follow Jesus works without fear. Truth and the righteousness of God through Jesus has fallen upon them all, enabling them with authority. John 14:12 “Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.”There was things that was not allowed to be spoken that Jesus said and done not till after his death and resurrection simply to protect them from the enemy(devil) and to fulfill God’s purpose. Jesus was confirming to his mother and disciples on the day of Pentecost, that they knowing truth ( him being the messiah, son of God) will become one with him as he was one with the father (John 14:20).

Through this one young woman Mary, whom without a doubt says yes to God. Showing her intelligence for being so young, with wisdom, knowledge and understanding accepted the words of an angel, but not without asking, “ how can this be, when I haven’t been with a man” Luke 1:34. After the angel explained to her the word of the Lord, she replied, “ do unto me according to thy word” Luke 1:38. Mother Mary earned the highest privilege and recognition even above the disciples to be respected and honoured, “ why? Because she was chosen to be the Mother of Jesus (spirit and power of authority) and said yes, even if was going to cause trouble in her young virgin life, engaged to be married. Mary embody the word faithfulness and virtuous to God. Her character and personality traits are what we all should possess.

Mary is every woman, every woman who stands in authority with faith in God, whether you’re a mother, and when I say a mother it could be a mother figure, you also can be CEO of a company, doctor, nurse, teacher…whatever as a woman of faithfulness and virtue as a child of God.

I am nondenominational but I pray the Rosary every day, because the Rosary to me is a constant reminder as a mother (woman) that with obedience to God and accepting His word for my life, I am Mary and she is me; as God has done it through her, He can also do it through me . All I can do is say yes, yes to His will to strive and become one also in making the world a better place. The Rosary is not about Mary, but about God who does great works through her/him/us. Mary has become highly favoured by God, Himself, Luke 1:28, 30. God doesn’t get jealous of his daughters nor his sons to discriminate against us in believing we can take the spotlight from Him, especially when called by Him. With due diligence, to be obedient to God’s will, we become one with Him in making our lives and that of the entire world better, doing away with sin, bring about peaceful, love, harmony.

To some it may seem that when I pray the Rosary, that is disregarding and blasphemy against God the Father and Jesus the son who says, “he is the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” John 14:6. But when we reach that level of wisdom, knowledge and understanding of God, like Jesus said, “to see me is to see the Father, together we are one, how can you ask me then to show you the Father” John 14:9. Then, and only then, you understand by no strength or power of your own, you do what you do, not for your glory, but for that of God’s because His strength is made strong in our weakness(sin), 2Corinthians 12:6-10. Like Paul and everyone who knows and understand the will of God through obedience, don’t glory themselves in their works or (accolades) from others, knowing it’s all the will of God working through them. The only one deserving of praise and worship, is God and God alone, with the understanding, we are just a vessels.

When I think of the fact that many of us had to give our lives to God by accepting Jesus as our Lord and saviour being baptized, for some dedicated (christened) as a baby by our parents, taken an oath, or had gone to school of theology, but just the thought that all Mary did was said yes and in carrying the son of God she didn’t need to be baptized, dedicated, take an oath or any traditional rituals. She was filled, literally filled with spirit, power and authority of all creation. She had to have become the Goddess of God carrying baby Jesus and given authority to care for all of God’s children. After all she did a great job with Jesus!

Never new love has a dark side! 1 Corinthians 13:4 (ESV) Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

When bitterness sets in where love once use to be, it becomes the dark side of love. Resenting someone for doing what you had the ability to do, but didn’t. Envy, jealousy and hate which really is another form for resentment and bitterness. We are born with love in our hearts and bitterness, hate and resentment is an attack of that love. Like an infectious disease no matter how loving you are the dark side of love tries to enter in our hearts to destroy love. Love is strong and it stands firm according to 1 Corinthians 13:4. But to hate, it’s easy, because we throw that weight out there on someone who has to be the one carrying it and it’s so heavy a weight to carry. But love, it lifts us up like wings, that we can fly.

It hard to believe that two people who once love each other for years, through divorce turn out to be each other’s worst enemy. A parents and their child or children, siblings, friends and neighbours. We never start off with hating one other, it always began with love. We were created by God with love. John 3:16 “ God so loved the world…” The dark side of love has taken over our world and if we don’t recognize it, then we can’t change it. It is up to us to shine the light through love. God wants to bring us back to love as we were in the beginning.

We all believe that it’s just us humans God has been working on with love. Believe it or not our merciful and forgiving God is determined to conquer the bitterness in the devil which this dark side of love resonated and infected us. If he didn’t see us as a threat, to encourage Adam and Eve to disobey God leaving us to live in this struggle to this day. His time is at hand, God is going to turning things around with greater love and the devil will be conquered. Realize that the devil himself is the dark side of love.

We are so programmed to the way of the world, that Christmas has lost its true meaning, it’s become commercialized. It has become like the churches a business for profits. What’s even more sad, most people celebrate Christmas without understanding the meaning. As for some children it’s giving them an attitude of expectation and entitlement to receive gifts. Some don’t even know the story of the birth of baby Jesus has anything to do with it. They are not being dedicated (christened) anymore or taught. The Bible tells us in Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he or she should go, and when they are old, they will not depart from it.” And if only all children were to know and understand the love of Jesus for all of humanity, we’ll never have to deal with prejudices and the world would be a better place.

As I sat, meditate and reflect on the progression of the world since the plague(covid) had began, for us to believe we could ever go back to the way it used to be is just ignorance, nothing but ignorance. We must evolve from every thing especially something so bad as a pandemic that affected the entire world. Romans 8:28 “all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” And we all have a purpose, and that is to live according to the will of God by obedience. To me, Life is a lesson that we all must go through to learn. It is not necessary about us alone, but for those who’s to come after us. How well learnt are we?

PTSD, that what Christmas has become for some which had began since Christmas 2019. The things we took for granted like hugs, kissing, shaking of hands, spending time together with love ones and friends, going to the malls, cinemas, clubs, library, gyms, schools…whatever we do to socialize ourselves. The amount of suicides that has taken place because of loneliness and isolation, and let’s not forget the innocence lives lost due to the pandemic and those who fought; had refused to take the vaccination. The mental affects that the pandemic had on the entire world, which today is still reverberating because it’s not over, Lord help us all. But faith and hope is the only way to keep moving forward.

I don’t know about others, but I can’t take advantage of this sadness in the world by over compensating for all that has been lost with the expectation of doubling or quadrupling like manufacturers, retailers and big businesses. I have to mention businesses, because I can’t believe that with the world crisis they are trying to make up for profits lost by putting up prices on merchandise knowing so many people had lost jobs, lives and have been put on lock down.Where do they expect people to find money? This pandemic opened up to us truth about the finances of people, the realization that people and even some businesses live and survives by paycheque to paycheque and let’s not forget credit. If this pandemic can put countries into deficit so much more it affects individuals, families and businesses. I am so not please with the idea that people who can hardly make ends meet trying to provide their families with gifts. I say forget the gifts and just have a potluck with family and friends and enjoy being together. Look at the lives that had been taken from us. “Death, nothing but death is surrounding us now. So let our priority change if nothing else after all this death. Realize that death is not prejudice if coming for every and anyone regardless of colour, religion, social status, gender, age and the list goes on.

I recall my first Christmas as a child and it wasn’t about gifts, but the cleaning of the house, putting up new curtains and the aroma of baking and us kids outside with running around with sparkles, seeing who’s will stay lite the longest. The first time eating apple and grapes and family visiting bring food so we can all eat together. We’d gone to church the day before and at Sunday school we were taught the story of Jesus. Christmas is the celebration of his birth and like the wise men we are to give gift to him for his birthday and the gift is to the less fortunate, Jesus didn’t need anything. At church they had gifts and envelopes for everyone to choose. The gifts was not toys, but things our entire family can use, like money, toilet paper, food etc.

This Christmas for me is sacrificing, not about gifts, but about love for the entire world. Christmas is not about being selfish but selfless. Remember just as we were in need and the Lord provides for us, we art to be following him to provide also for other, especially when we are in the position to help. Sometimes it’s just our presence and what little you can do in love. “Love is the greatest gift of all.” Acts 3:6 “Silver and gold I have none; but such as I have I give thee, in the name of Jesus!

Our Father, we who love, adore and worship you, we are asking, seeking and knocking on heavens door with our tears and prayers for us you knows you and for those who doesn’t. If there’s ever a time that is needed to feel your presence it’s now. I am not one who cries easily, but I can’t watch the news without crying, not even able to comprehend that which is happening in my own circle of friends and families.

We are not lamenting because of doomsday expectations or prophecy for those who don’t understand. I use the pronoun ‘we’ because I believe myself to be a part of one. It is a breaking point, “enough is, enough.” Regardless of your religious belief or having none, John 16:8 The Comforter will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment. Romans 8:22 For we know that the whole creation groans and travails in pain together until now. We are in bondage, held captive by the world system and believe ourselves to be free, but by our own hands and some how has forgotten about Jesus, even though we call His name. John 14:16, The Comforter, Holy Spirit, the Spirit of truth, our other helper has fallen upon us, that’s why I am crying. Not seeing what the world’s sees, but seeing what the Holy Spirit has revealed and continues to reveal. It’s not everyone that shall be moved, but if you’re faithful to God…Hallelujah!

“When you feel our hands slipping from you Lord, please, please hold on to us tighter, never letting us go, Amen!

Misconceptions of being Christ like is to always be, all loving and caring, helpful, kindhearted, forgiving, compassionate and the list goes on to all the lovey-dovey stuff. But never could I ever imagined it being a battle, a constant war that is never ending for walking in the light. I had to come to realization that I could not walk in the light without walking with it. Who would ever thought anything to do with God could require weapons and a state of mind of that of a warrior.

The discipline is to have the ability to fight like a warrior, but be gentle like a dove, Matthew 10:16 “Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be he therefore wise as serpent, (now we understand why the devil came to Adam and Eve as a serpent) and harmless as doves. Sorry, but I’ve learned that the dove don’t work with the demons of today. They play you till you’re broken. This is the reason for not just walking in the light, but with the light. The light is your strength, fortresses and salvation.

How many of us believe, goodness and mercy shall follow us all the days of our lives for being and doing good in this life? The devil tries to make us believe otherwise. I myself had felt the stripes of the whipped on my heart, mind and soul, it almost had left me bitter, angry and frustrated. When realized I was going in with my strength instead of that of the Lord. I had to understand only Jesus can be Jesus. When he said follow him it was not meant for us to try and become him. Matthew 16:24-26 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” It’s all about our own cross, remembering he said “their cross” not others. First we must overcome our own weaknesses to be empty vessels for God. “Aren’t we still Jesus disciples?”

Let the devil be liar and all that is of God be truthful in our lives. Don’t be confused, if you’re full then you have no room for what God has to download in you. Time to delete within you the confusion. Our relationship with our Father grants us access undeniable to all our we need to do and be. And when we are lifted up and strengthened, He said, “pull your brothers and sisters along with you.“

I thought of myself to be a lover and not a fighter. But I had to learn to put up my dukes to survive, sometimes even with tears in my eyes. I hate to have to fight, Lord knows and He reminds me always it’s His battle not mine. The envy, jealously and haters; all the demonic attacks the constant reminder of Ephesians 6:11-18 “Put on the whole armour of God…”

“God help us, the world is in a war and we need you. Speak Lord, speak Lord for your servant is waiting to hears you for such a time like this. Show us thy way, Lord.”

“Eli Eli Lena sabachthani” Matthew 27:46 “It is one thing when our flesh cries out to the Lord, but our spirit!” Jesus of all person who said, “to see me is to see the Father, John 14:9. The Father and I are one, John 10:30. I have to asked this question, “what happens to a man that is so deep within his soul, that would cause him to feel like God would ever forsaken him?” It’s like sin itself was awaken to know it wrong to exist within man. With the life and death of Jesus, something has broken loose on the cross concerning sin in man and yet we are unable to recognize and embrace it. All we can say is, “it’s the blood, we plead the blood of Jesus!” The cross is the finishing of what had already started within us through Jesus.

Sin has devoured our strength in and with God. It possesses and take control with no mercy. It broke the connection between God and man a relationship like Adam the first man had with God before eating the forbidden fruit. Man had gotten stuck in the grasp of sin, then Jesus came and cut us loose. When Jesus called out on the cross these words that we ourselves must say, “ Father into thy hands I commit my spirit” Luke 23:46. Jesus was giving back to God what Adam had lost, his complete surrender to God and God alone, his entire being. Jesus was naked on the cross, unlike Adam and Eve, his concern wasn’t shame and hiding from God, but feeling like his Father has left him. Isn’t it a coincidence that Jesus the man felt abandoned by the Father and Adam the man was hiding from the Father. Something for man to think about.

I couldn’t help but believe that our consciousness and emotions has a lot to do with sin. My reason for coming to this conclusion is Jesus was emotional in the garden of Gethsamane and on the cross. When Adam sin the first thing that both him and Eve did was to show emotions by running and hiding from God and clothing themselves with leaf, because they realized they were naked, Genesis 3:7.

There’s nothing like grief and pain to throw you off your game. It controls the very essence of our being. Grief to me means to love intensely and Pain is the pinnacle of our emotions like height or level, the reason you’re asked on a scale of 1 to 10 how bad is your pain? Grief and pain can cause a man to feel like God has forsaken them. It is the depth of emotions that allows us to cry out and feel like God has forsaken us. You can’t even begin to explain the intensity of emotions you’re feeling. The kind of cry that gets the attention of God. Heart and mind pain, emotions that connects flesh and the spirit.

Jesus our redeemer and salvation. Jesus came to deliver us from the consequences of sin. Sin still abound because we allow it when we don’t rebuke it, now that we are so knowledgeable about it. Taking control of it is in following in the footsteps of Jesus. We must follow Jesus, the perfect example of how to overcome sin, by being one with God. Remembering when Jesus said, “to see me is to see the Father”(John 14:9) “The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing His work” (John 14:10). This showed me that Jesus lived for the will of the Father to be done in him without wavering. Like so many men and women of the Bible, God’s will is written with in us all, but like Adam and Eve for some of us, we allow temptation and the distractions of the enemy to overcome us.

What do I mean by the will of God is written within us? For example, when the devil told Jesus to turn the stone into bread and Jesus said, “ it is written, man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that…”(Matthew 4:3-4). Jesus wasn’t talking about the what was written in the Bible, but rather what God has written within our spirit. The devil wasn’t trying to defeat Jesus the divine, but Jesus the man.

There’s only a few chosen people who have an intimate relationship with God to be true leaders (shepherd) in the world. We can’t be so ignorant with those who just doesn’t believe or can’t understand the way we do with our faith. You who are chosen, like Moses have to let Gods light shines within and through you that others may believe. The feeling of being superior of others and their faith (religion) is so very wrong. When we can’t in our actions, show the true light of God and not darkness, we are not worthy. God is love and if we can’t have love, even for those who doesn’t believe like we do, then we are not of God. God alone knows how, what and when they would change. All we have to do is pray for them.

Jesus brought to us the unconditional love of God for all of humanity. He took all our sins upon himself and give us grace instead. Look at what Jesus took upon himself for us that is considered sin, doing good for others, healing, miracles, feeding thousands, then being betrayed, mocked and spat on, beaten, scourged and forsaken by love ones due to fear and then murdered (crucified) for no reason, not even being found guilty of one wrong doing. What does it say about us when we do consider what is truly evil or sin within us. Think about this the sin wasn’t anything Jesus has done or being. It was our action toward him for no reason that was the sin in us he allowed us to play out by crucifying him because of fear, envy and jealousy. Kinda sound like what Cain did to his brother Abel. And here we were thinking we were doing good for God sake by killing Jesus. The cross was and is very important to us and for us because it was the place that Jesus recognized who and what truly possessed us and said, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do!”

We take for granted our health. “If it’s not broken no need to fix it.”Some of us feels the same way about our physical and mental health. As long as we feel ok and we can move around and do the things we’re accustomed doing, even with a little pain and discomfort, as long as we can get through it, then, nothing is really wrong. We always wait until it’s more than we can handle to realize something is seriously wrong, like severe pain causing immobility

Here I am counting down the days until I find out the results of my biopsy and she died. This is the second time I am on this path. The first time I was terrified, just thought of cancer petrified me. But the closer my relationship got with the Lord and I’ve become more mature as His child, I fear no more rather this kills me or not, because no matter what, one day I will pass on, death is inevitable. I am not going to spend my time worrying about when and how I am going to die. As long as God is with me whenever, however it is alright with me. How can I have faith in God and fear death. My faith will carry me into the arms of my saviour in death as it has kept me here on this earth through the good and the bad.

Look how the devil is so wicked, two days ago my son wife lost her mother to breast cancer. God call her home from all her suffering. We had a good heart felt conversation as two mothers, at our grandson birthday party. I told her to fight, stop wearing black clothing like she’s mourning her life already. So I went out and bought her some uplifting colours of clothing to wear. This was not her first battle, she’d fought before and won, but it came back. I believed in my heart she was going to win this one also. But the phone call that morning brought me to tears, and I can’t stop thinking about her as one mother to another, OMG! For it was only a few weeks we had our conversation about God, life, health and family and now she’s dead. I cried for almost an hour. I heard a voice in my head saying, “ this could be you next.” But I know the devil is liar! I haven’t gotten my results yet and for a second reality of it did hit me, but in Jesus almighty name, I rebuke the devil to get behind me. I felt it in my spirit that my son mother-in-law knew this was going to be it for her, because when she said they couldn’t operate anymore, they would try a new medication that may give her a few more years to live, if it works, she then smiled and said, “ whatsoever God’s plan, I believes in Jesus, I have faith, I’m not afraid.”

Her death makes me want to live and not take for granted every moment of this life. She suffered really suffered because she had refused to take stronger medication to help with the pain as to not be incoherent to her love ones. She sacrificed herself for her love ones. She was brave and so strong…Sorry I can’t write anymore my heart is breaking.

I know enough to understand that black and white photos can only indicate going back in time. I kept on dreaming our world in black and white no colours. Like an old Charlie Chaplin movie everything black and white no colours. The dreams are clear and the meaning is that we are going through repetitive thing in our existence as humanity. Racism, sexism, social injustice, the greed for power, and the list goes on. But the question is how well learnt are we? If nothing is new under the sun according to Ecclesiastes 1:9 “what has been will be again, what has been done will be done again, there is nothing new under the sun.

Shame on us, Jesus life, death and resurrection has for some of us made a drastic change. Unless we are aware through a relationship with our Lord and saviour, we’ll always be in black and white. The rainbow has many colours like that of Joseph rob given to him by this father. The many colours signify the promise of God will to be fulfilled.

It’s time for us to draw nearer to God and come out of the dark, into the light. Don’t allow ignorance and self righteousness to make us fall short. The colours represents the many different beauty of the Lord, the unlimited wholeness of His love, mercy, compassion, forgiveness favours, for us all. The black and white is a limitation of our being. Dreaming black and white only means we have a lot of work to do.

Christians we have be the ones to set the stage for the coming of the Lord. It’s better we didn’t know than we know and choose to ignore the truth that has been set before us in His word and in our spirit. If we’re truly in a relationship with Him only then we’d know. He has never been far from us, at least not in the spirit.