Genesis 4:7 “If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” Anyone who’s dealing with sibling rivalry or any kind of family dysfunction should ask themself this question. One day I heard the voice of God talking to me as I was struggling with the cruelty I believed I’ve experienced throughout my life from my love ones. Strangers may have treated me the same way, but it wouldn’t have affected me as much as my family and dear friends. “Just unacceptable, I thought.” The pain and despair I felt was turning me into someone I didn’t know.” For what they had done to me for my love, compassion, mercy and understanding, how could God let them get away with it, I thought?” I wasn’t deserving of the treatment they gave, which partially crippled and buried me with fear, doubt, and hopelessness even depression and mental illness. Like Cain, they would have been better off to have killed me, for their motives toward me was exactly the same as he did towards his brother Abel. In some ways, as I thought about who I use to be compared to who I am today, the real me has truly died. Family should be the foundation in which we stand to go out and face the real world. If you can survive the dysfunctions of family, you can face the world with vigilance, resilient and tenacity.

To be treated unfair and unkind for no apparent reason does something to the mental state of a person. I could see all my flaws, and accept criticism, because it will help me to be and do better. I am also not too prideful to take into consideration advice either. I believe sincerely in treating others exactly what is taught in the Bible when Jesus says, “do unto others, what you’d like done unto you” Luke 6:31. Because of all this, I now suffer with trust issues; always questioning the motives of others. I been lost for so many years and thanks be to God for hearing and answering prayers through his messenger (Bishop Td Jakes) whom I don’t know, but by watching his sermons online has helped me to heal. Td jakes, I’ve always believe God has sent him specificly for me after believing in my spirit I would never trust another man or woman of God, because of having bad experiences. God speaks to me through him for every tears I’ve cried, for the fear and hopelessness I have felt. He may not be a messenger from God to everyone, but for those whom God himself has elected, such as myself. He is the only minister of God that goes to the depth of my soul with his preaching and can pull me out of my despair especially when I feel like giving up. He is the real deal for me, as someone once said about me,”he is the true servant of God, and you can see he does it with love.” I am speaking for myself as for how much he impacted my life. Some people say, “he’s just a man” But so are all the other men of the bible starting from Abraham all the way to Paul, they were all just man, except for Jesus, with an anointing and calling from God to do what they did. There was even a time I had even given up on wanting to serve God if it meant I had to deal with people. Serving God to me was setting up myself for my faith to be like Abel. The devil didn’t make Cain kill his brother, it was Cain way of thinking give way for the devil to possess him. That’s why sometime people can’t always blame the devil, we allow him to walk right in instead of resisting him.

At one point I quit serving God in public and went underground, I call it dimming of my light. I was afraid of the height they saw me climbing with God. My loved ones isn’t whom I would want a fight with, it would be like cutting out my own heart. To be in war you have to be selfish, something I just can’t possess, I care too much about others, especially my loved ones. Your family is not who you choose, but as written in Genesis 4:11-12 you shouldn’t hurt them, because you’ll only curse yourself. Joseph suffered the same thing at the hands of his siblings in Genesis 37. They didn’t kill him, but really wanted to, and instead sold him into slavery. But what give me fresh courage is Genesis 50:20 Joseph replied to his brothers, “As for you, what you intended against me for evil, God intended for good, in order to accomplish a day like this to preserve the lives of many people.” Very powerful! Joseph show himself to be worthy of every blessings he had recieved. He could of been just as evil to his siblings as they were to him. I always considered myself a woman Joseph because like him, for the love and forgiveness he had for his family regardless of how they’ve treated him God favor was always abound with him. I’ve often wondered of the unwritten thoughts and actions of Abel concern Cain. Is it only at the time of his killing he realized then, how much his brother hated him, or was there other signs?

We sometimes fail to realize that whatever we wish, or hold negatively against anyone, especially our love ones, is like faith, which is an energy we possess that we can throw at each other unknowingly. This can also be for good when we pray for someone. Our love is also like faith a very powerful energy.

I use the story of Cain, Abel and Joseph, because it all about jealousy, siblings rivalry and family. I couldn’t help but believe that man fight with the devil is under the same circumstances.

The feud in family is so much more complex because first what is the meaning of family to you? Number one is blood relations, love and expectations as a family unit as it suppose to be from generation pass as the law of loyalty, respect and unity.

Matthew 4:19 “Come, follows Me” Jesus said… Now today, both men and women are in ministry to win souls for Jesus, but are no longer fishers. Today because women is no longer shunned as a preacher and leaders, they’re just as important to the building of the kingdom as the men. If Jesus was to come again he would tell them to come follow him, he will make them mother’s of all, not just children. The men will always remain fishers, because they would forever be taught on how to catch, where by as woman mothering I do believe is not something that can be taught, but comes naturally.

I was created to be a companion, to stand along side him not beneath or above. It was never said he was my equal, or I am his, but in the sight of God we were creat as such, equal, “man”. We talk, walk,work, play and disagree, yet we should be unite with each other in marriage to create(make babies) as God has planned and to defeat the devil(the force against us), to become one body, (flesh), even to connecting as one with God, three in one and one in three. I shouldn’t need to be heard, allowing my character and my illuminated energy ( created in the image of God)to speak for itself. I was created for and from man who, was created from the earth, who was created by God, who created me and is me. God and the earth is like a man and a woman, both together are one. Genesis 2:21-23

God impregnated the earth (metaphroically) to bring forth man just as he did for everything on earth and in the universe. God, parthenogenesis (the virgin birth) this is who created and creation had began with. Because I am woman I know who I am; man (My companion) you don’t intimidate me, we are one, (flesh of my flesh and bone of my bones) Genesis 2:23; Why would you see me as a threat? The holy book of God and man (bible) has been interpreted to give you dominion over me, what is then your great fear? Ephesians 5:22-24

Today March 8, 2018 marks as International woman’s day and I feel the chains falling, the oppression is finally over for woman, we can speak and do, not all things, but somethings just like man. The seed of this understanding has just blossomed recognisable to both men and women alike being planted many generations ago. It couldn’t of come in a more better time such as this where all truth are being revealed, which is called the enlightening time. Nothing is hidden, not a about God, creation and the evolution.

Let us not take this opportunity likely, but use it for positive changes in this century and do not abuse it, for the future of all young women depends on it.

Spiritual maturity comes from the example Jesus showed us toward the Father(God) John10:30 “I and the Father are one.” It is important for us to understand that Jesus being a man to make himself be equal to God is considered blasphemy worth being stoned to death for (John10:33)

When Jesus spoke about him and the Father being one, it is a proclamation of the working of God in and through Him, giving all the glory to God… It was God himself who said, ” This is my beloved son, in whom I am well please” declaring Jesus to be his son.

Mark 10:8 “And the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Genesis 2:24 “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” This here to me reveals the same oneness as the Father God and the Son Jesus, but instead of flesh, spirit. If men and women can have this kind of relationship there would be no divorces. See how God doesn’t need to show himself superior to Jesus, Jesus just submits himself in every way because he understands the truth, love and goodness of God. Jesus is by no means taking credit for his (existence); to God be all the glory, praise and worship. Jesus had the wisdom, knowledge and understanding of that and we should also. God didn’t created us to be robots, do as he commands, neither were we enslaved. It should be the greatest blessing for us to recognise that we have free will.

If, like Jesus, we acknowledge that we are and do all things through God and our relationship is not as an individual, but one, one in heart, mind and spirit, connected. This connectivity leaves no way for control of power, jealousy, hatred or ones ego getting in the way. God is and will always be God and He, Me and We knows it.

Spiritual maturity is also knowing that the wisdom, knowledge and understanding of God cannot be contained or only founded in a building and a book, it is limitless. It is only us as human beings can be, we are merely limited. To think before there were churches or bibles God existed and his word more prevalent in the hearts and minds of men. The word(bible) and the building(church) has become divided, a means of separation between believers in a monotheistic God. “How could you not understand what I am saying?” When there’s so many different denomination of religions, pulling at God and Jesus in many different directions like there’s is more than one God and Jesus. Believing their way is the only and right way; then they have the nerve to say who’s going to hell, like if somehow they’re exempt, and know for sure they are going to heaven, judging and condemning their fellow Christian believers. We cannot forget those who believe in God and yet deny his son came and are still today waiting on him to come.

What does the Bible say about solid food for believers? 1Corinthians 3:2-3 ” I give you milk, not solid food(meat), for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, your are still not ready. Paul was speaking to the Corinthian church that they weren’t yet spiritual to receive the word for their mind was still carnal(worldly). There was jealousy and quarreling among them.

Today some Christians are no different than those people had been; sanctified in Christ Jesus and called to be his holy people; all those everywhere who call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ are yet not ready to eat solid food. Most people can’t help but be carnal(worldly) today because they have yet to receive divine experience( like, Moses, seeing and talking to a burning bush). They repeat word for word the scriptures or something they heard someone else says without proof of there own experiences. To be effective you have to have a testimony of your own.

Some people believes today a good testimony is wealth or some sort of miracles, no! honestly it’s has to begin with the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2). Be in the world, but not of it (John 17:6-19). The things I use to do, I do them no more; for greater is he that is in me than he that is the world(1 John 4:4)

To eat solid food is to be able to be nourished by the word of God not as an enfant that is limited, but as an adult that has no limitations. There’s an old Hymn by William Williams “Guide me, O thou Great Jehovah, feed me till I want no more. The solid food can also mean your level of wisdom, knowledge and understanding of not just the word, but also your relationship with God. Can you still love and praise Him in the bad times, do you trust and believe he’s in control, and are you willing to be a servant, to surrender all for His glory?

Matthew 14:22-32 Jesus walks on the water. And when they (Jesus and Peter) climb into the boat, the wind died down. There was no mention of a storm as Jesus was walking on the water until Peter got out and started to walk towards him. Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

Jesus was on his way in peace, because peace moves within and without Jesus. Scriptures declare, the peace of God which surpasses all understanding(Philippians 4:7). And here is Jesus trying to teach the disciples that they also can have this ability, if they would only believe, not just to walk on the water, but also to be able to control their mind.

Peter was not just doubtful, but afraid and so was all the other disciples on the boat. They all brought the storm.

There’s something about being in the presence of Jesus. If like me, you’ve ever had what seems like a dream or vision of be in the presence of Jesus, there’s  an everlasting feeling of love, peace and joy that radiates from him to you that is out of this world. Like an energy that draws you in, but in a good way, like ecstasy and your spirit wants you to remain in that state. You understand why so many people would drop whatever they were doing to follow him. He’s like an magnet, you can’t help but be drawn to him. Now I could understand why both men and women was drawn to him and why those who opposed him wanted to kill him.

Jesus loves to feed you. The first thing he did was prepared a table before me and invited me to sit, eat and drink while he spoke. There’s something about rice, bread, fish, wine and water he’d prepare. When you finish speaking and eating, you can feel it within your spirit, you’ll never be the same. You’ll have the kind of love and patience for all of humanity and God creations like never before, good or bad. You no longer see color, religion, or ethnicity of people. Your spiritual eyes will open and you’d see all people deeply in need of salvation no matter what they’ve done. You’ll have compassion and love for them with no judgement, but mercy for them all.

So if you’ve seen Jesus even the way you see the world and understand it changes. Nothing definitely wouldn’t be the same for you. You learn not to worry when the spirit moves you to do anything. No more temptations inside of you to take matters into your own hands, especially your willingness to believe you can fight for him like Peter when he drew the sword and cut of the ear of the soldiers (John 18:10) You begin to understand that the battle is His and you have to stand still and see his salvation. Move only when he tells you to not because some how you think you can do His job better  than Him. Jesus understands people are sinners and He knows just what to do about it. After all he became us and took on sin for us all.

Being who God has called you to be can be challenging especially with the unseen opposition(devil). Whenever you are called by God it is for you to be a world changer. You are marked for greatness, but become a target for the adversary the devil.

God has always looked around in the world searching out for all the simpleton to use for his glory.

Thou shalt not covet started in the beginning with Cain toward his brother Abel (Genesis 4:1-9) God said in verse 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it. After this saying Cain killed his brother. Why? He wanted God to accept his offering as he did his brother Abel. But what Cain failed to realized is that his brother wasn’t wasting his energy and time looking over his shoulder at what he was doing, but was concentrating on doing the will of God and giving his all to it.

Next Jacob and Esau Genesis 25:29-34 Jacob stay at home cooking, unlike Esau his older brother who was a skillful hunter, a man of the open country. Jacob thought  he can manipulate his brother Esau into selling him his birthright due to him coming in from the feild hungry and exhausted. Made him swear to him for bread and lentil stew. Esau swear and ate and drank. Jacob didn’t stop there with him, in Genesis 27 he goes in to his father and pretends to be Esau and steals his brother’s blessing from his father. It’s preached that the mother is the instigater behind this deception she may have just been in the right place at the right time to carry out what Jacob had already wanted or maybe even discussed with her about doing. Jacob mother Rebekah wasn’t mentioned when he made Esau swear to give him his birthright.

To make a long story short what Jacob had done became a curse unto him. His brother found out that he stool his birthright and now also his blessing. Like Cain, Esau wanted to kill his brother, but after his father death. Then he had to run away  leave his mom and dad, from his brother’s anger towards him.  He then went to his uncle to take a wife  and the same thing he did to his brother and father was done unto him by his uncle who was now angry at him. Then now he had to run from his uncle on the left and had no way to run to this time beside God, because his brother Esau was on the right coming after him in anger also. Question is, should a blessing become a curse? Why did Jacob had to go through all that he did to get what was rightfully his anyway. Genesis 25:22-26 In the womb they were struggling and the younger Jacob coming out  of the womb held on to the elder Esau heel. God predicted to their mother what was going to be their future, the elder shall serve the younger, like the angel Gabriel told the Virgin Mary about the birth of Jesus.

Jacob lesson was for him to come to the knowledge of being truthful and righteous, accepting himself for who he was created to be, after wrestling with what was believe to be a man all night till he tells him his name. God had already given him the prediction when he started his journey and took stones and made it a pillow for him to sleep. Genesis 28:11-22 In verse 13 and 15 God revealed himself to Jacob. And Jaccob situation with with his uncle and brother draw him closer to God in that his faith delivered him from both their anger towards him.

Jacob didn’t have to covet his brother, he was already his own individual. Genesis 32:24:30 Where he wrestled with what was believed to be a man who changed his name from Jacob to Israel, which mean, you wrestled with God and with men, and you have won (Genesis 32:28). Genesis 32:30 Jacob said,” I have seen God face to face, and I am still alive.”

What is the lesson for us all, coveting someone else can be nothing but trouble. When something is for you nothing and no one can be against you, Romans 8:31 If the shoes is to big for your feet, eventually it will fall off or even cause you to fall. God help you if it is to small, the pain it will cause for you to put it on and try to walk in it. Hey! “the glass slippers was only meant for Cinderella.”

Everthing that’s in the dark must come to light. Why are we so suprised about what is going on in Hollywood today regarding the allegations of sexual abuse and all kinds of misconduct especially toward women? At least they are not afraid of coming forth today and making a claim of abuse, not even children. One thing we all have to remember is there’s nothing new under the sun. These things has been happening for what seems like forever. People just never had the freedom, protection or rights to come forth with such allegations.

Whenever one thinks of Hollywood, it’s all about stardom and fortune. But behind-the-scenes of all that there’s a dark side to it, unspeakable horrors, the price many who are desperate and vulnerable pay. Sexual misconduct, drugs, alcohol, depression, anxieties, and abuse of power by those who are in the authority to make or break the careers of desperate and vulnerable seekers of fame and fortune.

I speak of Hollywood, but it is really all about the fame and fortune and it doesn’t matter whether you’re an actor, musicians, dancer, singer, model, director, producer, an agent whatever’s associated with fame and fortune. If you are not grounded or anchored in your faith you can be led into temptation to sin your soul. And if you have no foundation of faith, tenacity, resilience there’s a price you going to pay one way or the other to the detrimental to your well being if not careful and it can be long lasting.

Now I understand why the it is written in the Bible, “seek first the kingdom of God and all things would be added to you” Matthew 6:33 When we seek God like we seek fame and fortune we would never find ourselves being in an compromising position of our well being and can be assured that all our needs will be met without worry or hurt.

Sodom and Gomorrah was not about homosexuality and being Transgender. It was about people who has the ability to choose to do that which is righteous and good, but they rather be evil than good for their own selfish ambitions. They were like the hereditary generation of the people in the day of Noah.

There should be no condemnation or judgement against the alleged people in Hollywood who when they were young made mistakes and is no longer doing what they used to do having recognized it to be wrong and have changed their ways for the greater good. 1 Corinthians 13:11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man/woman, I put away childish things. But the accused authority figures who used their positions to take advantage of the desperate and vulnerable and use their authority to try and manipulate them into doing whatever they command them to do to advance their careers and is continuing in this way is wrong and nothing but evil.

The entertainment industry has to be the one targeted, because it is seen by the masses. It is like being high looking down, but remember the higher you are the harder you fall, especially when all eyes is on you world wide. God wants whatever is in the light of the world to be righteous and good. It is judgement day for all man especially the stars, if you want to continue to shine. God is dimming the light of the glowing industry, Hollywood. He want the glowing light to be a righteous light to shine on truth, not to cover up deceit. Matthew 5:16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may se your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

Everything in the world has to start representing the goodness of God. It would be no longer said, be in the world but not as the world. Romans 12:2 Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. The world is going become as God has created it to be before the the eating of the forbidden fruit, Eden (PARADISE)

When all has failed you, who else can you turn to but God? Matthew 8:24 The disciples were afraid that they were going to die in a storm while Jesus was in the boat sleeping. But look how lucky they were to have had direct access to Jesus to wake him up by crying out, and right away he calmed the storm by rebuking it. Wait a minute when Jesus awoke instead of being panicked and troubled the first thing he said was, “why are you fearful, oh you of little faith.” What an example of faith!

The fear was real and even though the disciples knew Jesus was capable of performing great miracles. Jesus was tempted for forty days by the devil after he was baptized by John. Matthew 3:13-17, 4:1-11 But what has caused the target on Jesus by the devil was Matthew 3:16-17 As soon as Jesus was baptized,  he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the spirit of God descending like a dove and a lighting on him and a voice from heaven said,”This is my son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” The devil has always been after Jesus in one way or the other all his life, but I believe God’s declaration of Jesus was the key to the devil demise for all to hear. You see Jesus over came the devil in the wilderness so now he came after the disciples to get to Jesus.

What really is the storm in our lives? It is the struggles within and around us we refuse to rebuke like Jesus did in Mark 4:39 And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, “Peace be still,” and the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. Jesus says we can do this by faith. But yet we say it’s hard to trust God in a storm. Many times we find ourselves in a storm and like the disciples Jesus is right there in it with us, even when the fear is real, when we can’t rebuke the storm do like the disciples wake up Jesus by praying and meditating in the word; having great faith. But what Jesus really taught us is to be still and know that God is God, to stand in faith with bold assurance Psalm 46:1-11 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth be removed, and the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea, though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof…

Only when you’re in the storm you can truly feel the fear and anxiety it causes. Remember nothing last for ever after the rain the sun will shine again, so this too will pass God is always in control, have faith.