Controversy: It makes a lot of sense for everyone of different ethnicity to want their Jesus, Santa Claus, deities to look like them. Why would it be any different for the mother of Jesus. So concerning the Black Madonna it is believed the reason for it being black is some were originally black or brown when they were made, others have simply turned darker due to factors like ageing or candle smoke. Another speculated cause for the dark-skinned depiction is due to pre-Christian deities being re-envisioned as the Madonna and child, according to Wikipedia. It can be considered African art, medieval origin(12C-15C), the Black Virgin was venerated pagan by the early Catholics and recently the Black Madonna for some feminist suggest it indicates a perspective on Mary underemphasized in traditional Christian doctrine. They couldn’t dispute the fact that even though it was black miracles still continued to happens giving it approval. It would be wrong of me to be ignorant to say, “does it really matter if it’s black?” It definitely does and to so many and also for those who racist. Our problem is we’re not able to see or comprehend truth as we should. There’s beauty in differences. A bouquet of flowers, the beauty of it is it’s many colors of the different types, but still all flowers.

Psalm 139:12 “Even the darkness will not be dark to you. The night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.” God is not coloured blind, but He is intentional with all His creation to say, according to Genesis 1:31 “God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.”

Forgiveness is hard, but we shouldn’t be forgiving just because of the benefits to ourselves alone. It is said, “forgiveness is not for the other person, but for you.” Then Jesus on the cross crying out, “forgive them father for they know not what they doing,” Luke 23:34. This wasn’t about him, being a followers of Jesus we must then attain an unconditional sacrificial love and forgiveness for others. God is asking us to forgive, because forgiveness from our heart is healing to our souls and the world we live in.

No one’s asking you to befriend someone who has truly hurt you through to core of your soul. Just pray to God with all your heart and soul to please remove the hurt and pain, and help you to forgive. I do know what it feels like to be so hurt, bitter, angry, disappointed and rather go to hell, if that’s what it takes than to forgive those I believed in my spirit wasn’t not worthy. But God! For the love of my Father God and his love and grace for me, I found it in my heart to forgive. But just because I forgive, and I can see you say, “Hello” and not try to avoid you, even let you go ahead of me in the long line, hold the door open for you to go through. It doesn’t mean we will ever pick up where we left off in our relationship.

Forgiveness can be frightening because you feel the person you forgive can take your forgiveness for granted or you can also be fearful that you forgive and then the person does the same thing again. Like putting your hands in fire, knowing fire burns. “You wouldn’t continue to put your hands in the fire knowing it’s going to burn every time.” But when it is in your nature to be loving, kind, forgiving and non judgemental regardless of how you may be treated, you are truly a gift from God to infiltrate the cruelty of the negative forces in world like Jesus.

The world is not ready for righteousness. The reason I say this is because there’s a suffering you endure continually, an attack by the enemy that affects everything and everyone around you till fear takes hold and stops you in your path. It’s a fear unlike no other. The enemy attacks you through your love ones (family, children, spouse, brothers, sisters, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) your work, friends, aquaintence, even to your mind (mental illness) and body (sickness and decease). You cry out for God for death, especially when all hell start breaking loose in your life. You know and feel it within your heart and spirit that this is not normal for the simple reason, everything in your life was fantastic until you’d experience this divine encounter, and now you are in a constant battle, like never in your life for no apparent normal reason, according to Ephesians 6:12 ” For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

No one but God is righteous, but we could always strive to be and do that which is like, humility, love, compassion, forgiveness, patients, understanding and doing on to others as you’d want done unto you is easy to do. But in a resistance world to righteousness, if you’re not anchored strong and firm in the Lord the enemy will cause your goodness to break you with his demonic attack.

I can say it now with bold assurance, “I am Empress, I am woman and I am Proud!” But it took me twelve years to get back my faith and courage to rise above the pit of fear and the hell I felt my in. “Broken! So broken was I.” It’s one thing when the enemy attacks your flesh, which is already weak, but he breaks your spirit through love, especially with those you hold dear to you. A crown of thorn was placed upon Jesus’s head and like a knife through his heart, he watch those he love and helped deny him, even lied on him. Let the love of God be the number one love for all you have. For example, see everything you have like a gift is from God to whom you love and love’s you. “You shouldn’t love the gifts more than the one who gave you them!” The devil would no longer be able to hurt you through your love. “Put God, first!”

Not only does the enemy want to isolate you because of fear, but he want to shot you up from speaking God’s truth and doing His will. God will send the angels into the cave to minister to you where you are isolated, tired, fearful and hungry. He will give you all needed to comfort and deliver you, and then resurrect you into his will and purpose, at his appointed time. 1 kings 19 when Elijah runs away from Ahab and Jezebel. In Matthew 4 Jesus is tested in the wilderness by the devil and after fasting forty days and nights in which he overcame and then the angels came and attended to him.

Matthew 16:24-26 Then Jesus told his disciples, ” If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it… When I meditate on this passage of scriptures it enables me to understand cost of following Jesus is priceless, but psychologically, wow! Jesus wasn’t taken to the cross yet, when he spoke of this. I could just imagine the reluctance his disciples would have felt, if they truly understood what he meant by, take up your cross. To see what happened to Jesus carrying his cross, would of been a turn off for sure, none of his disciples would of followed him then. They all scattered in fear when Jesus was arrested, so how could they have truly understood the meaning, to the lose their lives for his sake. The emotional pain and sacrifice even to your death is the cost. In other words you are up against an invisible enemy you can’t see and you have to be able to put your faith and trust in God for guidance through it all, surrender. Like walking through a pitch black forest not knowing what’s going to jump out at you to harm you. Taking that leap of faith, for the shield and guidance of God that if you do die, you’re guaranteed to go to heaven.

I know now who I am in Him, my God. Every faithful woman is a queen, once you truly know who you are and to whom you belong. We are all Marie’s like the virgin Mary the mother of Jesus. When you are called into service of the Lord, no matter what your servitude may be, like to have children, (divine children) are children born specifically for the purpose of God by a miracle like Isaac, Samuel, and Jesus, adopt, take care of foster children, be a nurse for the sick, elderly, homeless and dying. A calling to be a nurture in the spirit like Mother Theresa and so many women in the past as well as today. A world changer especially caring for those who are less fortunate. The chosen women of God.

Twenty-six years ago on a retreat I had a what I call The Vision of Love. The Blessed Virgin Mary, mother of Jesus came to me. Faith follower of the Pentecostal church who was taught Jesus is the only way to heaven and God, no others and I believed it strongly. The Catholic faith is idolatry all abomination according to the gospel in the book of Acts. So Mary meant nothing besides being the mother of Jesus. And so it was in my heart, no importance just a woman. The retreat I attended had others I didn’t know personally, some were there for the same reason I was and others were there to be like nurses to help us on this divine experience. And there was this one woman one night called Mommsey, I remember being very much annoyed by her repeatedly saying this unfamiliar pray about Mary. I thought to myself of the scripture I’ve learned in the Pentecostal church, no one goes to the father except through Jesus. He’s the way the truth and the life, John 14:6. I was praying she’d stop this abomination, it was affecting my peace. It really disturb me so much that I believed it was part of the devil way to block me from my spiritual path I was on.

It was sometime at night while asleep, I dreamth myself and the other women were in a cave and we were all dying. Dressed in all white we were glowing bright and then dimming back to normal. But every time we’d dimmed back to normal light you can see our skeleton glowing through the white of our clothing. It was like lightening flashing on and off. I could see myself outside of my body looking at what’s happening to me and then suddenly the light in me brightened so much it ripped through my flesh and came through the center of my chest and I died. I knew I died because I was floating, it felt like my body was floating up, all the way into the darkness of space towards the stars in the night sky. Then I heard a voice calling out to me to take as many souls up with me from in the darkness that is on earth and there was millions of people crying and reach out to me and I tried with all my might to grab hold to as much people as I can. I was heading straight up to the sun, I could feel the warmth of the wind like a cool summers day breeze on my cheeks as I ascends further, then there she was, out of no were, she just appeared in the most beautiful, loving, peaceful and inviting rays of light. Actually she was the light herself. With no color tone she looked like someone took light and shape it into the form of a woman. She was glowing, dress in the colors of the sky, blue and white. Like Paul on Damascus road when thrown off his house by a bright light, the same happened to me, all the people I brought with me out of the darkness disappeared and it was just us both. She spoke to me telepathically and from then till now my life has changed drastically and to this day I haven’t ever been the same..

See the crown in this picture, I had my little brother an aspiring artists twenty-six years ago drew the crown according to my description. He came close, but Her crown was made of gold and diamond unlike anything you’d ever see in this world. She took it off her head and give it to me. Makes me cry every time I think of it, because I wasn’t  worthy of it at all, especially the way I felt about her.  But she said I am her and then continue by handing over her baby that was in her arms and charged me to take care of him. The baby was Jesus and I felt like I had the whole world in my arms. And I will end here because this is a very long story, lol.

The three parts of the crown signifies: (1) The cross on the crown mean, as a mother Mary herself endured every suffering, every demonic attacks by the enemy concerning her faith. She stood her grounds overcame it through faith. She bares the cross for all mankind like her son Jesus. What mother can stand by and watch her child she love brutally beaten and killed by people he help and love.

(2) The crown of the earth represents the key given to Jesus’s disciples of what you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven and what you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven, Matthew 16:19. Mother Mary was also a given the same key for her faithfulness and leadership to her son’s friends who she was now left to be their mother also.

(3) The crown of  heaven is the unity (oneness) with God. A relationship like no other. This relationship grantees guidance, protection, love, peace, healing, comfort in the time of trouble, and it goes on with so much blessings.

God is never angry or frustrated with us for asking questions. Even though it may seem like He’s silent to our cries of frustrations, He’s giving us time to figure out the answers that sometimes is right before us, but to hurt and frustrated to acknowledge. He did say, “ask and you shall recieve,” Matthew 7:7-8. God doesn’t react to our actions like we do to each others. He’s God, not man, and His ways are not like ours according to Isaiah 55:8-9

God is always behind the scenes working in our favor regardless of our emotions and belief. We must trust and believe that all things work for our good if we’d just trust in Him. He’s good all the time, even in the bad.

Today, I was thinking of how much everything about life as we’ve known it to be has now all changed because of Covid-19. The limitations of how much people are allowed to gather together, wearing of masks, boarders closures, we can’t travel like we use to, businesses are closing down, the isolation, people are frustrated, and scared and the lists goes on.

When I thought about Saul on the road to Damascus, it reminded me many of us who were so busy about our own will and determination like Saul and here comes covid-19 and stop us in our tract like when Paul was thrown off his horse by the blinded light.

“After all, maybe like Saul, God is talking to us.”

I guess after having the Old and New Testament we can look forward to the Modern Testament. The change will come I believe when God is ready to take man on another level in the defeat of the strong hold of the devil. The devil has to and will be defeat. There’s always going to be rules even if sin doesn’t exist anymore. And maybe it wouldn’t be in a book, but written in our hearts, mind and our spirit. “I’m just saying!”

It’s maybe be because you just don’t! Some of us are born (chosen) to be who we are, and some made, because of the powers of influence surrounding us, be it good or bad. One thing that I have learned is that ancestry also plays a very important part of who we are, including genetics which can be hereditary and generational.

Everyone who was acknowledge as the chosen people of God are from the seed of Abraham according to biblical teachings, Deuteronomy 14:2 For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. Out of all the people on the face of the earth, the Lord has chosen you to be his treasured possession. Galatians 3:29 (NIV) If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise. Whenever you’re feeling like you don’t belong as a Christian repeat these bible verses.

Discovering who you are in relationship with God from biblical perspective or profoundly from an unexpected experience, you’ll find peace within and everything around you. But if you don’t, you’ll struggle and find yourselve conflicted, so conflicted about life, that you become depressed and anxious trying to understand how can you fit in with people.

You can feel like an alien in the world especially in relations to others. People are selfish, greedy, boastful, liars, manipulators, murderers, envious, adulterous, fornicators, hateful and the list goes on. “Lord help us!” How could you be righteous in a world that is filled with so much wrong? There’s no way you can easily escape the feeling of being different, especially when you’re chosen by the Lord for his will and purpose. You just can’t do bad things or be like everyone else. Jesus must have felt the same way growing up among us. Can you identify yourself as Jesus, wanting righteousness in a world that fights against you?

John 15:19 If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out the world, because of this the world hates you. The reason you feel like you don’t belong is because when the negative energies and forces surrounding you are heighten in the earth, like an angel from heaven, you long for the peace you once knew within your spirit. The evil in our world is a weight too heavy to carry.

The Damascus Road where Saul met  with our Lord and was converted, Acts 9. “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?” Saul asked, “who are you Lord?” He replied, “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”

Saul chosen to suffer for Jesus name, Acts 9:16. As I understand it according to scriptures Saul is the greatest example of the stone the builder refused, (refused Christ), Lord makes your enemy your foot stool,( he will serve you) and love your enemies and be good to those who persecute you ( Jesus didn’t hurt him), the lists goes on to all the teachings of Christ in the Bible.

Saul, who became Paul in his conversion from a murderer of Christians to now a Christian himself. Was Paul’s conversion a way of the Lord showing us, he sees and knows everything going on with each individual of us here on earth? Paul’s conversion shows that the Lord is always in control regardless of what we intend to believe. The same way Paul was converted, I trust that when God is ready to change every man on earth to His will and purpose, we definity will be.

Why Paul? Did Jesus use Paul to show the devil after Judas hung himself due to his temptation and influence in his life being one of his disciples, that he would no longer have power or control over God’s children? Jesus life, death and resurrection overcame all evil influence and temptation by the devil. It seems like Jesus, through Paul, took back all power of authority He let go to be brutally dragged to the cross with all humility, without a fight. Hey, remember in the book of Job the devil boldly went to heaven and got permission from God to test Jobs faith in Him. Now Jesus boldly showed the devil he may no long have permission to test God’s children, period.

“Why Paul alone, and not all those who also was responsible for the stoning of Stephen and persecuting Christians?” Could Paul have had some question in his mind, but a true love for God in his heart? Did he looked at Jesus as just another false prophet or messiah? Maybe like so many of us, he was saying, “if you’re real then show yourself to me Lord, help your people, a sign or anything, that I may believe.” What was it that made Jesus single him out beside wanting him to suffer for his name sake, could it be Paul was truly spiritually blind like maybe some of us are?

Isolation means, according to the Cambridge Dictionary: the condition of being alone, especially when this makes you feel unhappy; the fact that something is separate and not connected to other things.

Isolation either by oneself or man can be detrimental to your psychey. I don’t like using the word isolation when concerning God I rather say retreat. The definition of retreat: an act or process of withdrawing especially from what is difficult, dangerous, or disagreeable: a period of group withdrawal for prayer, medition, study, or instruction under a director, Merriam-webster dictionary.

If in Genesis 2:18 God says, it’s not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. If God isolates you it is because He’s your suitable helper for that period of time. Never to leave you alone, to be tempted and tortured by your own thoughts and feelings and worst, giving way to the devil. The Lord always has a plan for us and His plan is for good and not to hurt you, Jeremiah 29:11. This is how we can discern that if God allows isolation in our lives, it would not leave us broken. It edify, up lefts and draw us nearer to God, especially in obedience for the good of others as well as ourselves. Take a look at Jonah, after being in the belly of the whale for three days, Jonah 1:17.

So to retreat (isolate) is hard to endure without faith to bring you through to the other side of wisdom, knowledge and understanding instead of brokenness.