Everyone like when good things happens to them. There’s nothing like being blessed and highly favoured. But are we aware that it’s a blessing or do we just feel entitled? The worst thing to me is when blessed and highly favoured can make one feel entitled and yet so ungrateful. We are all created in the image of God, though clothed in flesh. It is the spirit within us that gives the essence of God in our being. The conscious to me is the spirit of God that dwells in us. When we are awaken spiritually, we are connected to the heavenly realm. Being in the world but, not fully of it, tapping into spiritual frequencies broadening the intellect of mind by using more than the five senses, but the seventh senses which means complete.

I’ve realized there are people who love indulging themselves with the kindness of others and give nothing back in return. Its one thing to give back to the one to whom you freely received from, especially in times of great need. But when you’re stingy and selfish that you don’t even give to whom has given you, even when opportunity arises to give back, to me, you seriously have a problem, if it doesn’t bother you at all. Maybe it’s a psychological mental thing, I just can’t comprehend. I do believe we all have a conscious, some of us are in tuned with it and some just ignore or turn it off. To be conscience to me is like the voice of God or your guardian angel speaking to you. Any time you hear a voice encouraging you to do wrong, it’s obviously it’s the devil.

I want to believe that I am not the only one who feels the way I do about the conscience-stricken mind. I constantly fight within myself whenever I do or say something out of character to hurt someone in anyway, especially unintentionally. Always reflecting on how I would like to be treated and trusting and believing that just as I wouldn’t intentionally hurt someone, people are likewise. But not truth at all, people can be so cruel and selfish. Why would God allow me to feel this way, always wanting to be pleasing, truthful and good to others. When I was younger, I felt good for having this blessings. But as I grew up, family, friends, acquaintances and people I’d try to help put me through nothing but drama for trying to do what I’d considered was good, good as Jesus himself would of done, which caused me such pain that traumatized me. Leaving me questioning myself if it’s worth it to suffer myself the selfishness and ingratitudes of people and the effect it has on me. It’s one thing I had to deal with the disappointment, hurt and pain from friend, acquaintance and strangers, but from my loved ones it broke me. The pain has caused me to be frustrated, resentful, angry, bitter at myself and the spirit of fearful crept in continually prevent me from fulfilling God’s call on my life. PTSD has consumed my soul over powering my mind, but thanks be to the Lord the Comforter my helper and guide broke through to my spirit setting me this sinner captive free, “Hallelujah, praise the Lord!” And continually working on me to help me overcome.

I believe God choses specific people like myself and many others in the world to awake our conscience mind for His purpose. There are things about our lives unlike others, we are not allowed. You are called to be and do a work for the purpose of God from birth. You don’t discover there’s a God, you know that there is. Everything about your life is orchestrated for you to come into acknowledgement of His Will and the purpose. Fighting, screaming and running, isn’t going to some how prevent your purpose from being fulfilled. When everyone can do what seems like anything and get away with it, even if you try and attempt it you’re completely blocked, warned by total strangers, have a dreams or couldn’t no matter how determined. Then that voice, the conscience voice of the mind speaks to you. God puts certain people in the world to be His angels going around blessing others with an awareness of duty, but yet sometimes like an innocent little child screams, “not fear, not fear at all,” when it seems like others can do anything and get away with it and you’re confined. You’re confined, but by something much more greater and better, for your own well being.

Sometimes it becomes frustrating, lonely and sad for having a conscience-stricken mind. You understand you’re different, but the demands of life can be more than you can bear, especially when you see others prosper on the goodness you were blessed by God to give. Then you’re feeling like no one’s there to do the same for you, your energy feels depleted, having no more to give. That’s the devil speaking to you because all that you were giving was never yours to begin with. Scripture declares, “His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses and he never gives us more than we can handle.” The devil is a liar! And he sure is good at convincing you of his lies. You’ll be fighting within yourself especially when being hurt by others for doing good or the right thing. You can recognize a conscience-stricken mind shouldn’t have you battling within. You should have no confusion, feeling depressed…and being hard on yourself once you’re following Jesus and that’s truly what you’re suppose to do. Look what happened to Him for all the good he has done and he wasn’t people pleasing he was being obedient to the Father. “He was God fearing, God willing, God purposeful and most of all God loving!”