I’ve been learning in the past few days to take back control of my emotions, feelings of uncontrollable hurt and pain. And for years it’s been happening to me because of pain I’ve lost control. My emotions whether physically or emotionally has always been a blockage to my ❤️‍🩹 healing. It’s a amazing that pain can be a ripple effect to all hidden emotions within. How many times have I told myself, “it hurts too much , I just can’t.”

I believe my guardian angel has been communicating with me, allowing me to see and feel his presence within my life so vividly, spiritually; naturally in dreams and vision. The Lord speaking to us subliminally in all our adversity, but we pay no attention to it because of all the world noises that drowns out His voice. Sin plays a great part of us being deaf to the voice of the Lord when emotions is running so high and out of control through trials and tribulations. It takes faithfulness in the Lord through tenacity, disciplined, and resilience to be healed and most of all your willingness through desperation and fatigue.

Medication doesn’t heal pain. All it does is control it for a time. The healing begins with faith and our mind( the way we think and perceive), through discipline and control that cures our pain. Medication to me only hypnotizes the body to believe the pain is gone when truly the pain remains because if you’re not consistent with the timing in taking it, the pain returns with a vengeance. The body itself begins to take control and start slowly to numb and ease the pain. Medication give us a kick start to control pain, not necessarily for us to depend totally on it, addicted. If you panic the pain gets worst, but if you’re remain calm and relaxed just breath in and out, you control how pain affects you.

Going through this at this time in my life as I’ve grown spiritually only encourages me to realize God is to be apart of every aspect of our lives. He’s there with us for the good and the bad. When things are good we praise Him and when things are bad we plead and wrestle with Him to deliver us. I’ve learned now instead of pleading and wrestling for deliverance I pray for the strength and faith for me to go through it knowing it will pass(be over) according to His will for me. I realize good doesn’t last long and neither does bad and in time both passes. From one moment to another taking turns one time it’s good and other time bad. We can have a good day and then bad they both exist together in our lives there’s no escaping it. The knowledge of good and evil can be to us a powerful tool when through God the wisdom, knowledge and understanding is utilized in our lives.

I wrote this because one night it was like every moment pain was just whipping me. That night I couldn’t sleep and all I did was succumb to the pain. I cried in silence, not wanting to awaken and alarm my husband I called out to the Lord to please make the pain stop. I was so desperate I almost wanted to overdose on the pain medication for the pain was so severe. I prayed every psalm I could remember without turning on the light to read my Bible, then I held on to my Rosary and began to pray the Rosary and before I know it I was asleep. Then I woke up and it was bright in the room the morning has come. I never prayed so hard for morning to come in my life so I could go to the hospital. But much to my surprise as I’d awoken, according to Psalm 30:5 “ weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning” literally the pain subsided completely. I knew it was God, so I prayed for Him to speak to me on what I must do to heal myself. The Lord answered my prayer and I began having dreams and vision most powerful.

The most amazing thing that happened to me was my physiotherapist who came to visit and begin therapy within the regulated time after surgery 5 to 10 days, couldn’t believe my progress. Trust me I couldn’t believe it myself seeing that I do have a chronic disease there’s no way without God could I be doing what I’ve been doing. 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 “ My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” “Praise Him, Hallelujah!”

When you have faith in the Most High God, it is the most supernatural power thing: you’re guided, protected from all evil seen and unseen, temptations, illnesses…in your life. I feel sorry for those who are lost and don’t know and for those who chooses not to.