Matthew 7:5 “Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.”

Guns kill and abortion kills. When the Lord said, “ thou shall not kill,” I can’t remember there being any exceptions to this law in the scriptures. War is wrong because it’s killing, police are wrong because they are to serve and protect, keep the peace, but yet kills in the process and in protecting yourself with a gun, you might have no choices but to kill or accidentally kill. Tell me how is having a gun not as bad as abortion? If gun don’t kill and people do, like abortion it’s people choice. No matter how we try to manipulate it once these two things is at our disposal, it’s our choice and it’s called to kill. They are both a double-edged swords.

If the concern is truly about obedience to the Lord by doing his will, we must first begin with love for all humanity regardless of colour, race, religious believe, sexual orientation, social statist…whatever concerns some of us in our ignorance. John 3:16 “God so loved the world.” Not special love for certain individuals, but the world, all that dwell there in.

“For give us Father for we know not we do.” Is it not the Lord alone who can and should change the course of man lives? As we all are witnessing in the world today what happens when it’s left up to us, nothing but wars, rumours of war, power tripping, poverty, trials and tribulations, all this and more. At our own will and selfish desires we are causing so much havoc in a world which is destined for restoration of peace and tranquility as it was created to be.

So much innocent children are being killed by massive school shootings and I can’t believe the same court that put an end to abortion is the same courts giving rights for people to bear arms, the very guns that’s taking innocent lives. What’s the use of having police officer then to serve and to protect? The United States of America is falling and the whole world is watching. If other countries could keep the peace without their citizens having to bear arms and they are not shooting and killing the innocents in their countries, then something is wrong with this judgment. I could only pray wisdom, knowledge and understanding will reveal the truth that it is not a good idea for people to carry guns as they wish. Think for a moment, we’re living in a world with so many people suffering with all kind of mental illnesses, desires for power and control, lacking empathy, and the list goes on. It’s like pouring gasoline on an already out of control fire.

I was never so offended to see that man, trying once again to play God. If God allows us freedom of choice, under who authority any courts or man has the right to dictate what a woman could do with her own body especially concerning abortion. If you go to hell, you’re going by yourself, same as going to heaven. No one can speak for you, not even your own parents, who’s responsible for you coming into this world. When you make a choice to go against God commandments it’s between you and God. “Man has now become like satan, believes God needs them to set things right with His creation as though He’s incompetent. God is all-knowing, perfect, ever present and every where, so we can’t lie or hid from him. That’s why He’s the one and only just judge of us all.”

Getting married, family planning, being educated, working, being an actor, teacher…is a choice for many of us. But there are certain things in life we have no choice over like our parents, we didn’t choose them, our health, being born with a disability, blind or deaf, mentally challenged…whatever challenges that we had no choice in, can be very difficult to navigate in this thing we call life. Life can already be so difficult and a struggle for many of us with its ups and downs. No one knows for sure or can predict the outcome of life, not for themselves or others. Life can take a turn and you have to get off (dying) when you don’t want to especially when enjoying happy moments. But diseases like cancer, diabetes heart attack… an accidents; having no choice before you know it, time for you to get off.

We have to be wise enough to recognize and discern logically our choices in this one chance at life we’re given being who we are now. It’s only us to suffer the consequences at the end of it all. So to have the wisdom, knowledge and understanding of it all can only come from a deep relationship with the almighty, creator of all. Just as the flesh is left behind so are the memories of who we use to be as we’d transition back into His merciful arms. So if we choose to be good our goodness will follow us all the days of our lives and remain as a memory of who we use to be after we’re gone. And if we choose bad, then obviously you know.

Abortion the right to choose. Only logical when you’re wholeheartedly responsible for a life, with the understanding once you’ve excepted it, it not like it has returns to sender policy when a situation arises you can’t handle. Your mind and body have to be willing and prepared, nobody but you. Like when you’re dying, you’re on your own fading away slowly, no one but you feels it. Everyone who’s against abortion is either for their own selfish reasons (can’t get pregnant or lost a pregnancy) or they believe they are on the Lord side, when He said, “thou shall not kill.” Maybe they even believe themselves to be equal to or even God Himself, so self righteous, passing laws not to commit abortion. But I tell you there’s a greater price to pay for those laws makers when a mother drowns her baby, throw it in the trash, leave it out to be eaten in the woods after giving birth, abuse them in every sense of the way, selling them to baby illegal adoption agencies, trafficking babies illegal…and let’s not forget underground secret abortion clinic that many women would end up dying from, even to trying their own risky self abortions, killings themselves in the process. I could see this being extreme especially among young people. The blood would be upon hands of those law makers when prevent the freedom to choose.

Like ever other medical solutions for cure of the human body and mind abortion is also. I could understand if women begins using abortion like a means of contraceptive then and only then can I consider it wrong. Mistakes could happen and sometimes being forced to except something you don’t want can turn out really devastating. No abortion then no fertility clinics. Like good and bad it all exist in this sinful world. If it’s God’s will then we don’t need neither clinics, we are to be living by faith and faith alone. Just think all the cures and our constant evolving of medical researches leading up to dynamic results in changing lives for many who have medical conditions needing a cure. Without these advancements so many illnesses, diseases and many other health and mental problems would go without cure or solution to cope with.

Guns, a weapon used by man to kill, as they call it protection. Why can’t we use our fist or baton for protecting. In some countries they use batons even for the worst of criminals and both the police and criminals live to see another day. There are people who’s hands should never touch a gun. Gun changes the mentality of a person when in the wrong hand. Gun induces power trip for those who crave power and authority by whatever means. Guns are accidents waiting to happen especially in the wrong hands like a child, or someone with mental problem or just a trigger happy individual.

With abortion I often wonder what would Jesus say about it. Would he say the same thing he did when presented with the adulteress woman who was about to be stoned and was brought to him, “let those without sin cast the first stone,” John 8:3-11 And as for the use of a gun, would he say as He did to Peter in the garden of Gethsemane when he drew his sword and cut off the ear of the soldiers, “put your sword back in its place, for all who draw the sword will die by the sword,” Matthew 26:52.

Humanity we are loosing ground, sin has got us bond and the Lord’s will and purpose for us all is fading further and further away. The only truth and righteousness we are operating in is our own and the devil, not the Lord’s.

From the time the angel Gabriel spoke to Mary, Luke 1:28 “And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among woman. When Mary accepted and said, “be it unto me according to thy word.” Her life was completely turned upside down then the shadow of darkness began to follow her as soon as the light was ignited within her. From Joseph her fiancé wanting to divorce her finding out she was already pregnant, having to travel in her late trimester of pregnancy, not finding a proper place to give birth, running and hiding for their lives and all manner things that happened not even mentioned is scripture. This is why the light cost something. Just imagine what it must of been like for her still living with her parents, being pregnant and not yet married. For our faith in God, walking in His glorious light we are dragged to our knees, constantly keeping close to Him always and Him to us. Holding on with all our strength and might, praying that when He feels our hands slipping from His, He’ll grab hold of us tighter, never letting us go. A desperate plea for his guidance and protection from all evil seen and unseen. Psalm 23:4, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and they staff they comfort me. They speak of walking through the shadow of death, but I know and I’ve felt the shadow of darkness that hovers over you like the darkest cloud with thunder and lightening ready to pour rain, not because of drought, but to flood and drown you. The devil must have moved aggressively to disrupt and tear down her life.

It looks and sounds so appealing to be blessed and highly favoured by God. But yet, it’s more like a target on your life, a shadow of darkness that follows you from the enemy(satan). In the natural everyone sees you as one to be admired and adored…given the name a Star. But in the spiritual, really you are a warrior walking in the Lords will and purpose for the restoration and salvation of all humanity, a threat to all possessing, negative, evil forces God want to eliminate to bring about peace. Let’s not get confuse with those who are in the world looking for fame, fortune and accolades from the world, because they are of the world; the things within and all its negativity. These are not the ones who we are speaking about as being “ blessed and highly favoured.”This is not about the faithless that still seems to be blessed, but about being called, born for service. This is why we all must ask ourselves the question, “who’s side are we on?” We got to be led by our conscious spiritual self (Holy spirit, comforter). Sound foolish to others, but speak to yourself, “who side am I on?” There’s only one and that is the Lord’s. Whenever you find yourself saying there’s more than one you’re battling against the enemy.

The evil(darkness) is drawn to the light, but yet wants to fight against it. Like the moth to the flame it can’t help itself. In the darkness light can be found. Before the darkness ruled, but when God said, “ let there be light: and there was light,” Genesis 1:3. The Lord our God made it so that darkness knew it’s place according to Genesis 1:4–5, “And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness. And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. Darkness has lost its power. Light is now in control co- existing with darkness who wants it to be like the good old day when it ruled.

Jesus is the light that the Lord our God said to humanity, let there be within us. We were like the world in darkness with sin before the Jesus came. And even though Jesus was not a force to be reckoned with, the shadow of darkness hovered over Him also as though He was one just like us. The darkness like the moth to the flames can’t help itself and is no respecter of person.

We have the firmament (heaven), us (humanity) and then we have all God creations (world). But then there’s an opposing power, an negative energy that wants control and is shaking the very foundation of the world that we are not yet able to overcome. We give into its seductions and temptations which lead us astray from the Will and purpose of God in our lives. With the light we take back control, the control by obedient and discipline. The darkness and the light becomes one in the same when you make it to the cross to Jesus. Your spirit is lifted up and your flesh submerged.

Can you stand to be blessed and highly favoured without being crushed by the enemies, jealousy, envy and hate? Once the light is activated within you, like a beacon drawing others to God we always say the world become against you. It’s not the world, but the negative evil forces(sin) the untamed that rises up against us without cause. You are hunted down for the kill like prey by the powers and principality, spiritual wickedness in high places, curses word of man mouth that can fall upon you, gossip, rumours…all manner of evil to get you and destroy you. But if hadn’t for the love of God, the enemy would of gotten his way with you. The battle is never yours, but the Lord’s, “stand still and see His salvation in your life when doing His will in obedience through an act of servitudes.”

To be blessed and highly favoured you must have faith in the Lord being with you, and surrounding you every step of the way in your life, because it cost. The enemy creeps in to plant a seed of destruction in your life to come crashing down like a dominoes effect. You are the vessel, but by His spirit you’re strengthen to operate.

Matthew 5:16 “ Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” There was a time I saw this saying as being contradictory because man is to busy being jealous and hateful of your light. They aren’t concerned about glorifying God. But it wasn’t until the Holy Spirit revealed to me people who are in desperate need of the Lord’s intercession to work a miracle in their lives didn’t care who or how it came as long as He’d answered their prayers, they knew it was Him to give all the glory and honour. Haters are going to hate and God is never in their thoughts, because we know who side they are on.

“You’re a good child!” No one is good except God! It says so in the Bible, Mark 10:18 But this keeps on echoing in my mind and heart every time especially in distress. Her voice reverberated within my spirit whenever the tears began to fall and my spirit is broken. Like a guardian angel she’s continually working in my life to be a guiding light for me in times of darkness. “ Thank you Lord!”

I was eleven years old and she chose me out of eight siblings like Joseph with the cloak of many colours chosen by God and loved deeply by his father. I thought to myself, “what did she see in me?” I was the only one willing to go help her clean, cook, bake anything she needed help with, even to looking after her granddaughter. At the age of ten when I was first invited into her home to help with some chores, she had became a Godsend to my life. The only true Godmother I ever had and known. Treated me with much motherly love, nurturing and took me in as another daughter, which she already had, and her only child. She treated me like I was of her own flesh and blood. Many times she’d ask my dad to give me to her, she wanted to adopt me, seriously as her own.

I lived with my dad, stepmother and other siblings at the time. Didn’t know my biological mother, she left when I was a baby. My father had a lot of children and mistresses. I have a lot of half brothers and sisters (different mothers same father). This most special person in my life took me to church, was my best friend and confidant. She was always promising to bake my cake when I get married, like she knew something about my life, not even myself could even imagined. She was the one who took me in and nurtured me to good health after having my first child by c-section. She always told me the truth even if it hurt. She’d start off by saying, “you know how much I love you,” and right away I knew I was in trouble, lol.

Today for some reason as I looked at my scared knees the tears ran warm down my cheeks remembering her love and my love for her, “may she Rest In Peace.” She went home to the Heavenly Father eight months ago and it’s disheartening to think it’s because of her faithfulness to God to secretly take an eleven years old girl to seven churches and pray over my life as she was told in a dream one night, now she’s gone. The thought of never having what we had as friends, mother daughter love, and confidant which changed my life completely for so much better, greater things I could ever dream of especially with God. She finished what my grandmother started in me with faith. Upon her being obedient to the Holy Spirit, I never forget when she told me not to tell my dad or anyone what she was about to do, but she did asked his permission for me go out with her early that morning. She told me we had to get to seven churches before they closed. We traveled by bus, train and taxi to get to these churches. We made it to only six of the seven churches because the last had closed at 4pm, we were late. I remember we both sat on the steps as she held my hands and cried, “Lord Jesus I didn’t know they closed so early.” With the tears running down her face and it was then, only then had I realized the importance of what she secretly had to have been doing for my life. Her crying made me cry. She then gather her composure after a few minutes got up and said, “ child, the Lord knows best.”

My dad never attend church because he always said he’s not of any religion, nether are we his children. He always said to me we are high priestess and priest of the Melchizedek order, I am not to follow any religion. He says religion is limited and it cannot contains all the powers of God. He also spoke of us being scientists and astrologists in the spirit. My dad would say what I had considered crazy things that didn’t make much sense to me. I would just say to myself each time he’d spoken about these things, “dad has a great imagination these things aren’t real or even possible.” I was only nine years old at the time living with my dad for the first time in my life, when he started as he called it programming me, lol with his nonsense. The same nonsense I myself believe my children must be saying about me when I begin to speak the things of God to them.

I often thought to myself, “what would my life had been like if this woman, a stranger, my neighbour, ‘yes,’ that’s how we started out to be, and now my Godmother had not been obedient to God according to her dream.” After loosing two of my sibling and everything that had happened to me in my life I’ve survived when truly I should be dead or mentally insane. She was a stranger that took me in and now I know it was God. All my siblings and I lived in the same place had the same encounters with this woman as did I, but her dream was for me, “Thank you Lord!”

I had the love of my dad and my dad loved me so, may he also “Rest in Peace.” His love causing siblings rivalry among brothers and sisters towards me, that how bad it’s been. Like the story of Joseph and his father Jacob giving him the coat of many colours, Genesis 37. I had so long for the love of a mother and God sent MaPearl as she was called by the community of all who knew her. It was a shock and surprise to her daughter when I told her what her mom had done for my life over some forty years ago. It was an invitation to MaPearl Ninety Birthday celebration when I came clean to the secret between us to her daughter and told her we swore to have keep it a secret and now that she had dementia I wanted to let her know how much her mom meant to me before she passes away. Three years after her birthday celebration she’d passed.

“That one church we didn’t make it to, the one that the Lord knows best, must be when I get to heaven to be with her I thought.” On the six day God had completed His work and rested on the seventh. A sincerely devoted, faithful servant, and God fearing woman held on to my hand in life on the steps of a church. I feel within my spirit like Jesus, even though she’s gone physically she’s stilling holding on to the innocent(clean, pure) little girl at eleven hand who didn’t experience life yet and now that she did, she got dirty(reality of sin). When she’d passed unknowingly to me that day every thing I looked at had the image of a heart, from the clouds in the sky to the carving in a tree stump, sign on a car, markings in the road and it went on till I found out she passed. Just like her when she’d start out by telling me the truth, without holding anything back, “ you know how much I love you.”

Writing this is purifying, all I could do is cry when I remembered when. There’s no greater love than the love of a mother, spiritual guide on earth. I think writing about this is another way the Lord is reaching out to remind me who’s I am and the purpose for my life; for me not to loose faith even in a dark and unbalanced world right now, to know I am loved, protect, and guided, especially when the darkness begins to infest my heart, and mind. Bitterness and resentment wants to over power my entire being, clouding my path. The Lord has now pulled back the curtain of remembrance to place me once again on His path of righteousness, memory of goodness and not that of the present hopelessness, fearfulness and sufferings.

My knees begun to hurt so much as I continue on writing. And as I began to slightly rubbed them a flash back hit me. I find myself back at the church and every church we’d attended I saw myself pull out the kneeler for us to kneel and pray with no time limits and we’d prayed. I recall it being like forever because as a child we could never pray no more than a few minutes and the adults for hours it seems like. It truly was a wonderful experience as I had learned the discipline of prophecy(the dream), kneeling, praying and obedience to the will of God. As I look back at it all and my life today I could only feel this scripture in my spirit according to Philippians 1:6, And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. “God is a faithful God, He will never start something and not finish it.” He’s not finished with me, my life will continue to be in His merciful hands.

This Mother’s Day, I weep for the lost of a tremendous Godmother, “Happy Mother’s Day, MaPearl! This is for you with much❤️”

I’ve been learning in the past few days to take back control of my emotions, feelings of uncontrollable hurt and pain. And for years it’s been happening to me because of pain I’ve lost control. My emotions whether physically or emotionally has always been a blockage to my ❤️‍🩹 healing. It’s a amazing that pain can be a ripple effect to all hidden emotions within. How many times have I told myself, “it hurts too much , I just can’t.”

I believe my guardian angel has been communicating with me, allowing me to see and feel his presence within my life so vividly, spiritually; naturally in dreams and vision. The Lord speaking to us subliminally in all our adversity, but we pay no attention to it because of all the world noises that drowns out His voice. Sin plays a great part of us being deaf to the voice of the Lord when emotions is running so high and out of control through trials and tribulations. It takes faithfulness in the Lord through tenacity, disciplined, and resilience to be healed and most of all your willingness through desperation and fatigue.

Medication doesn’t heal pain. All it does is control it for a time. The healing begins with faith and our mind( the way we think and perceive), through discipline and control that cures our pain. Medication to me only hypnotizes the body to believe the pain is gone when truly the pain remains because if you’re not consistent with the timing in taking it, the pain returns with a vengeance. The body itself begins to take control and start slowly to numb and ease the pain. Medication give us a kick start to control pain, not necessarily for us to depend totally on it, addicted. If you panic the pain gets worst, but if you’re remain calm and relaxed just breath in and out, you control how pain affects you.

Going through this at this time in my life as I’ve grown spiritually only encourages me to realize God is to be apart of every aspect of our lives. He’s there with us for the good and the bad. When things are good we praise Him and when things are bad we plead and wrestle with Him to deliver us. I’ve learned now instead of pleading and wrestling for deliverance I pray for the strength and faith for me to go through it knowing it will pass(be over) according to His will for me. I realize good doesn’t last long and neither does bad and in time both passes. From one moment to another taking turns one time it’s good and other time bad. We can have a good day and then bad they both exist together in our lives there’s no escaping it. The knowledge of good and evil can be to us a powerful tool when through God the wisdom, knowledge and understanding is utilized in our lives.

I wrote this because one night it was like every moment pain was just whipping me. That night I couldn’t sleep and all I did was succumb to the pain. I cried in silence, not wanting to awaken and alarm my husband I called out to the Lord to please make the pain stop. I was so desperate I almost wanted to overdose on the pain medication for the pain was so severe. I prayed every psalm I could remember without turning on the light to read my Bible, then I held on to my Rosary and began to pray the Rosary and before I know it I was asleep. Then I woke up and it was bright in the room the morning has come. I never prayed so hard for morning to come in my life so I could go to the hospital. But much to my surprise as I’d awoken, according to Psalm 30:5 “ weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning” literally the pain subsided completely. I knew it was God, so I prayed for Him to speak to me on what I must do to heal myself. The Lord answered my prayer and I began having dreams and vision most powerful.

The most amazing thing that happened to me was my physiotherapist who came to visit and begin therapy within the regulated time after surgery 5 to 10 days, couldn’t believe my progress. Trust me I couldn’t believe it myself seeing that I do have a chronic disease there’s no way without God could I be doing what I’ve been doing. 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 “ My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” “Praise Him, Hallelujah!”

When you have faith in the Most High God, it is the most supernatural power thing: you’re guided, protected from all evil seen and unseen, temptations, illnesses…in your life. I feel sorry for those who are lost and don’t know and for those who chooses not to.

Luke 1:38 (NIV) And Mary said, “ Behold the handmaiden of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.”

Abraham may have been the friend of God and King David a man after God’s own heart. But Mother Mary was granted the highest honour, God’s spouse, mother of His son, mother of restoration and Queen Mother of all mother’s. Not just a baby mama, but the Lord’s Goddess, sovereigns and an example for all mothers to follow. It’s just ignorant to think any less of her.

Being a baby mother is not to be taken likely. From the actions of this a young virgin girl Mary, when asked by an angel of God to be the mother of His son, showed such maturity, intelligence and faithfulness in her response. When we take into consideration the honour, you’re chosen; called upon by God do a good work. And like Jesus life, death and resurrection in oneness and with the power and authority given by Him to be and to do the impossible. Everything about you is His light reflecting within you, when you walk, talk, move, do what you do…be what you’re being.

When concerning motherhood it is of vital importance to recognize that God himself according to the scriptures ask the permission of the woman and He’s her creator. God didn’t rape Mary, neither did he demanded it of her. It was Mary’s words as she response to being asked and her faithfulness to His calling on her life. Mary had the choice and she had chosen to except God’s will for her life.

When the devil tempted and succeeded in convincing Eve to eat from the forbidden fruit tree in the garden and give to her husband Adam also, it was as I consider it, rape of the innocent. He impregnated both Eve and Adam with seeds of unrighteousness, (sin). But through Mother Mary the Lord has reversed the curse of the seed to His intended righteousness for all humanity for all eternity. Notice that there was no longer Adam and Eve seed, like Cain and Abel one good and one bad. But only the seed of divinity was placed in Mary’s womb to wash away the seed of both Adam and Eve, even in Mary, herself. We see it as though Mary, flesh (sin) was mixed with Divinity, spirit (authority and powerful). But the truth is just as nothing but the blood of Jesus washes away sin when the Comforter, Holy Spirit, spirit of truth, when moves upon you and the power of the Highest overshadow you, you conceive. On that day of conception, restoration, renewing and transformation of the mind body and spirit begins, Mother’s. Mary wasn’t even afraid or concerned of the fact that she can be in big trouble (stoned to death) for being pregnant before marriage and the consummation of it to Joseph, being newly engaged.

Joseph, Mary engaged spouse at the time who she had no sexual relations, but yet was with child, represented the true meaning of helpmate, Genesis 2:18. Joseph entire existence with Mary and child is proof that the Lord moves in a mysterious way. It is not the seed of men we give birth to mother, but the seed of God. Mary was purified for all humanity by the birthing of Jesus in her womb she’s not the first or the last. It is an anointing that continues flowing upon us mother’s even today. We are destined to produce the kings, queens, prince and princesses for the kingdom of our Lord.

We don’t understand that like all other struggles of sin, abortion, murder, killings; death is all one thing of the same, it is the greatest power and principality we fight against in ignorance. Instead of looking to the Lord we lean to our own understanding. This battle is the Lord’s. Life and death is in the Lords hand, His will and control, but our choices to live according to His will, or our own, is in our hands. The consequences of our attitudes and actions like Adam and Eve, regardless, remember the Lord still take cares of us all. We do suffer not by His Will but the consequences of our choices. No one to blame but ourselves.

When our spirit is willing to except the divine will of the Lord to bring forth His children according to His Will and purpose for the world within our womb, we also like the Blessed Mother Mary, are blessed and highly favoured, Luke 1:28-38. For all mothers, like Mary are Goddesses pregnant with the Lords children. We are all Goddess, Queens, but I rather be called Empress like Mother Mary in her heavenly reign. What may seem impossible is possible with God, Luke 1:37 “ For with God nothing shall be impossible.”

Not every woman who give birth is a mother, just like not every man who has a child is a father. It takes a special anointing from God to be a mother. You can be barren and the Lord can still call you to be a mother. When anointed to be a mother you acknowledge with wisdom and understanding like Mother Mary that you are the mother of all children as the Lord is father of all.