No one should ever have to reach the point in their lives where being kind is literally killing you. This situation goes to show the kind of world we’re living in today. An unbreakable heart is hard to find in today’s world because we are all very sensitive and extremely emotional, especially because of the pandemic. So touchy, feeling, overwhelmed by emotions that’s breaking us down; mental disorders. The world is on it’s pinnacle of emotional energy accumulated by humanity. When the energy of emotions reaches such height war begins. The negativity gives ways to all the dark forces to enter and captivate our souls.

I have watch those who like to take advantage, use and abuse the givers like myself. I never in my all my life, help or give unto others for the sake of reciprocity. I honestly believe that doing good, was to follow Jesus, in which I was taught from a child. But no one prepares you for the sacrifice like Jesus, you would endure, “these suckers are out for blood.” They made it seems like you’d never have to suffer when following Jesus. You’ll be blessed, but what kind of blessing? Never had I ever thought or perceived in my soul, that hurt and pain is all part of it. I had refuse to believe that Jesus would ever allowed those who do right to suffer. “When you know right, then do it, I remember being told.” So all my life for peace sake, (to bring about peace and not war) I have been doing just that. Then I began to believe the only true happiness and peace I will find, is when I go to heaven, “but the devil is a liar.”

The truth is I know deep down within my spirit, that we are all sinners and none of us are perfect. But then again I thought to myself, “if I myself a sinner and is imperfect can do and be good, there’s no excuses for others.” I don’t believe that there are people who are born without a conscious, no matter how evil they may appear to be. We all are born with a mind, body, soul and spirit. The spirit if we decide by choice to turn it off, then we disconnect ourselves from God. And by turning it off means choosing not to believe or have faith in God. You can’t have faith and no conscious, I’am sorry. Even the devil showed consciousness when he went to heaven and asked God for permission to torment Job, Job 1:6-12.

No one said it wouldn’t be easy, but I want to go to heaven when I die. So I learned to humble myself. To give in to the will of my Lord and saviour Jesus. There was many times I fought with God, I had to remind Him, like he doesn’t know, that I’m not perfect like Jesus, neither am I of celestial divinity, just of flesh and blood I am made, born into sin. Don’t expect me to not want retaliate, or just stop being that way, because I can’t handle the hurt nor the pain. When you find yourself praying for the Lord to restore your broken heart, to nom it, so you’d never have to feel that kind of pain, ever again. That’s the kind of pain you give way to the devil in making you a bitter and vengeful person, making everyone the enemy no matter what. You should know something is wrong when you’re suffering PTSD from showing kindness to others.

“Yes, it’s possible that someone can hurt your soul!” And a hurt soul produces damages such as bitterness, hatred, and pain. God knows that’s why he says come to him and rest. When you’re in relationship with God, he’s on speed dial whenever your soul is in trouble he sends an angel( in the form a person) to says a word, or even give you a touch and whatever is going on in your life it’s come to an end. God is real! And through faith He’ll manifest His being for you.