Holy Week, the time of commemorating and remembering the Goodness and love of the Lord for all humanity. A reflection on the time leading up to Jesus journey to the cross. His enduring suffering and unwavering spirit of obedience and willingness to follow through the will of God. Flesh and spirit; with spirit taking the lead over the weakness of the flesh, Jesus surrender freely to his destiny without a fight. So can we!

We see this as a time of joy for ourselves, Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice for of salvation. But really this should be a time of mourning under the circumstances in which our world is going through today, social injustice, racism, pandemic, spiritual warfare and the list goes on. Holding unto all that Jesus has done for us without we ourselves doing our part in follow through to his will as he had done the Fathers. We got to break the traditions and let our actions be true in our consecration and devotions in this season of life. The change has taken place already and through the moving of the Holy Spirit our comforter and truth revealer, we all should have recognized it, and not feel the sense of lost and hopelessness. We are fasting and praying because it’s Lent season, a time of sacrifice and self-denial leading up to Easter. But now is a time to pray and fast for connectivity to God. Seeking first the Kingdom of God and all righteousness. We no longer have to sacrifice what Jesus has already done, our deliverance which is forever. We have to remain grounded and connected to Jesus.

This is a time to weep for our world and it’s stubbornness. It’s time to acknowledge and understand that obedience is the only sacrifice need to live in the will and peace that God ordain for us through Christ Jesus. As children of the most High God we must pray and fast for ourselves as well as others. See and feel the presence of His light in our lives today!

Jesus presence is within and surrounding us. Let’s begin with the love for family and being rejected by them. Nothing can break your heart like the lost of family members and it’s not about death; dying, but actually being cutting you out of their lives for nothing more than jealousy. To be hated and resent by family members like sibling rivalry, being so much different than them. To be seen for your compassion, mercy, Kindness, forgiveness and love as someone phoney wanting something in return. It may seem like you’re doing everything in your power to out shine them when you’re just being you. The hardest thing to do is to find yourself at war with one of your own. Tears in your eyes and reluctant to war with them like they are a stranger on a battle field. Put aside all your love, psych yourself out to see them as an enemy when you know in your heart how much you love and care for them. The devil is liar! He put thought in peoples heart and minds towards one other, and we’re the ones who allows him the invitations instead of resisting him in the process and not give in.

Are we not our brothers keepers? There’s always going to be a Judas in the midst of us, whether family or friends. And just remember it is the devil who possesses them, so when we recognize it we must pray for them. Like Jesus being nailed to the cross looking down at the people remember how much he loves them and would do anything for them with the echoes of “crucify him, crucify him” repeating in his head. So as you enter the room with them in it and you’re filled with dread because you know anything you say or do is going to be met with criticism or respond with a negative comment. Their energy in the room towards you is absorbed within your spirit, you feel it and everything in you wants you leave, but yet you stay allowing them the audience to keep throwing the punches as you wait and pray patiently for a change in them. Always a target of their jokes and humiliations, but you continue to hope and pray for the love of God within you. Do they even know what they are doing? Like Jesus said, “ forgive them father, for they know not what they do? Can they be so cruel? When they needed me I was there, nothing was too much for me to give when asked, I did my best when I could to help them and it was all unconditional love. But for my love hate, my tears resentment, and for my mercy and forgiveness a constant reminder not to let it go.

A stranger can treat you with such hatred and you’d expect it, they don’t know who you are, but your own? You feel like someone has sliced your spirit and soul, you can never be the same again and you’re broken, shattered and divided. “Family” Blood is ticker than water, isn’t that the way it should be? But like the Gentile to the Jews, stranger would love and treat you better than your own, which shouldn’t be! You can be kin by blood, but yet divided by the devil, to walk the walk of shame and to know you sell yourself short not because of sin, but because of the lack of knowledge, wisdom and understanding to who’s and whom you are.

When you’re inflicting hurt and pain to others unknowingly, especially to your own family with such hatred and discord it’s call possession. When you’ve picked up your cross and follow Jesus as he commanded, you do endure what it felt like for him. He never expected for us to carry the burden he’d carry, but for us to never forget so we can carry on the legacy for generations until he return, lest we forget. It is our responsibility like Jesus to recognize the frailty within one another and to leave the judgement and condemnations to such as a time when Jesus himself returns. Jesus knew it at the cross and many of us has to feel it in meeting Jesus there on Calvary, the brokenness of heart that it takes to fulfill the will of God all for love. Maybe for all we know the return of Jesus is predicated on all of humanity to meet Him at the cross, remembering when he said, “take up your cross and follow me. The cross costs!

As Jesus prayed in the garden of Gethsemane, “ my soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death. Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink, may your will be done.” If Jesus being born of flesh and spirit (immaculate conceived), can feel so emotional and weary of mind trying to hold it together for himself as well as the disciples, so much more we who are all flesh has to battle within our minds. But there are those of us who are born of spirit (baptized) and those who are not, who also struggles with the thought in our mind.

How many sleepless nights and tired some days have you sent in worrying about one thing or the other? Fear and worry is a weapon of the mind used by the enemy to get at you especially when it concerns the ones you love, like the concerns of parent for their children. Maybe you found out you have a terminal decease, lost of a job, someone you loved passes away, you were in an accident, you have to make a life changing decision and the list goes on to the things that would cause you to be troubled and fearful. So think about what it must of been like for Jesus.

To wear the Crown of thorns like Jesus it’s never about you personally, but you face challenges and encounter many situations that renders you vulnerable to the attacks of the enemy for being and doing good for no apparent reason. You endure, ridicule and dangerous abuse of hatred by your peers and strangers. You become a target in the world. You walk with humility and grace . The favour of the Lord when shinning upon you that others can see makes you the enemy target. But you must endure and persevere right through it all, never changing. Smile when truly you feel like crying, love when hate has been thrown at you, hold your peace when war is coming at you and never allow your faith to waver, but to hold on even in the hardest of situations trusting.

Crown of thorns is given as a reminder of the never ending torment of the mind you go through when serving God. The enemy wants to keep you in hurt and pain to lose all focus on that which is at hand, God’s will, as you endure the sufferings

Dear God as much as I love, praise and worship you for all blessings you’ve given me. Forever I pray to be in your grace my Heavenly Father, but I have a problem with my duty concerning humanity and my service to them. For my love they give me bitterness, my mercy and compassion a battle, when I try to forgive and let it go, they constantly remind me, for peace they are for war, love hate…a constant fight.

Truly you have to be born by immaculate conception to overcome every human emotions; grief, anger, sorrow and bitterness, etc. It is much more than one can bear. The over whelming feeling of not being able to carry out my duty for fear, doubt and hopelessness has incapacitated me. Even though Faith is the greatest factor for me to see this through, my humanity (flesh) is weak. The pain, hurt, depression and disappointment with one self to not be in control of the fear and doubt has blindsided me. I forgot who I am in you and through you. Feeling like a failure to your will because of my humanity when I’d say, “I am not Jesus, just flesh and blood what do you expect of me?”

Never given more than I can handle: The never ending sorrow continues to fill my soul with all the evil I’ve see in the world has laid a heavyweight within my spirit. I am bleeding Lord, the cut has been so severe and deep. The evil has tried to take me down, “so I stretched forth my hand to there, no other help I know.” You’ve allowed me to suffer, to be sacrificed within my spirit to bring about new growth and I’m dying, like a seed planted in the ground being broken opened to bring forth a new tree.

Matthew 7:6 “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.” I say to this verse even though I am God fearing doesn’t mean I wouldn’t curse and cuss at people, especially the possessed, as I called them, rather than believe that peopl are so evil and wicked. I’ve been battling with this when angered and frustrated while being attacked by some. Like a dog if they try to bite and devour me I will cuss them and like a pig it they desire to drag me through the mud I’ll curse them, like Jesus did the fig tree. It’s my fleshy power of weakness I have within myself, forgive me. Who are the dogs and the pigs? The behaviors of some human beings. Many of us human do act like animals even though animal are much more intelligent than we are in their roles, instinct given by God himself to them. They are so much more in tuned to their connection with God. For humans to be compared to an animal is insulted to the animal by far, not the other way around. They are truthful to there being, and to God in their being, if you understand what I mean.

I thank you Lord for understanding who I am in my frustration and my anger. I know to value all your creations is to value love, all your love. I realized that we are afraid of the devil when in all reality, he is terrified of us because of our free will. Free will, that power given to us to even fight against you, Lord. Understanding we’re like nothing to the devil but a bug he can squish, yet Lord, your love for us has given us unprecedented powers over him if we’d just believe, have Faith and a strong relationship with you that is unwavering. When I discovered within my spirit to hate humanity is to be like the devil I wanted no part with the devil, so it changed my perspective right away. After all I am human, ” who do I think I am? And who side to I want to be on?” I chose you Lord, to make the sacrifices, stand bold and strong in Christ himself who understand what’s it’s like to be. “Thank you Lord, for hearing me. Amen and Amen!”

The fire is a form of purification and everything in the world right now is being purified. And the purification is like that of a woman in labour. We must breath then push if we intend to get through these most difficult times in the world. It feels like our emotions are at it’s peek and life is at it’s breaking point. But be faithful this to shall pass.

We must not fight against this purification, but allow Faith to carry us through. When you feel out of control, find a place you can scream and let it all out. The fire that is burning within each and everyone of us all is actually igniting things we’d rather not confront and forget. The Lord is allowing what seems like so much negativity to come to the forefront of all our live, our secrete we rather concealed. I believe the Lord is revealing to the world so we’d recognize the severity of change needed to make this world a better place, and we are all in it together. The world is created for all and as humanity we are all responsible for making it a better place for one another by our behavior.

Look at what’s happening today in our world with the pandemic, social injustice, racism and moral misconduct by a leader of what is called the free world. Humanity has to take a closer look at ourselves especially to the things that are set before us against what has been truly regarded as the will of God for us according to His Words not our interpretation of it. There’s an unrest of the spirit where truth and righteousness is it completely being battle to being over powered by evil forces.

Righteousness and truth will stand and overpower the evil forces. For this reason purification has been given. The Lord promised he’ll never destroy the earth by flood again like in the day of Noah for all mankind evil and wickedness. Yet, here we go again, doing even more unspeakable evil towards one another that is hidden, but only God sees.

But for Jesus life death and resurrection we’ve been spared from the wrath of God and given grace and mercy. A chance even in our failures to make changes and to continue to do so. As for this fact we can truly say with all humility, honor and great respect, “God is good!”

This is not for the Catholic church to decide. The church throughout history has it’s traditions and with great difficulty change is never going to be easy. Controversy and corruption has always been apart of one of the world’s largest religious institution for centuries. They are not to me, in the position to say what’s right and acceptable in the sight of God, when they themself has fallen short. The church is the first to be judged in the last days according revelation chapter 1.

My words to the Catholic church, fast and pray that the Lord will speak to you and give you the answers pertaining to His people and His will for them. “Stop answering what you believe he’d want you to say.” You can’t use sin as an excuse any more, ” let those without sin cast the first stone!” We are all sinners and we are not to turn away any sinners who wishes to come to the Lord. “Suffer not the children to come to me” Matthew 19:14. You suffer women from serving God, married couples, when majority of you have celibacy problem, hidden homosexual relations and pedophilia in your members.

This is not a judgement, but a statement of facts. We all need to search within ourselves when comes to the things pertaining to God. Through fasting and praying and not just during Lent but whenever complicated situation arises that we cannot control or fix ourselves. The Holy ghost, the other comforter, the spirit of truth will help us, it will lead us and guide us truly to the will of God even giving us discernment for certain situations.

You can’t bless same sex-marriages which you considered a sin, but yet, it’s blessed priests that are pedophiles, homosexuals and struggle with celibacy. Let’s not forget the other hidden problems the public is not informed of like alcoholism… Yes we are all humans that has our strengths and weaknesses and by no means are we perfect. We judge one another according to our expectations, what we hear, see, and our ignorance. But thank God for judging us on what he knows truthfully within our hearts and minds.

I’m just so astonished by the fact Same-sex would want to have anything to do with God. When I was growing up the ones I knew were all atheist. They hated the fact that God would create them like that in which they can’t help themselves only to be disowned by parents, rejected by your peers, especially as a teenager and made fun of. To feel alone and trapped in one self, to be told you are a sin to the point of suicide. Someone I knew killed themself because of wanting to fit in and just be like a normal person. When she came out, as they call it, she lost all her family. Imagine the lies and deception they had to live to hide their secret and the fear that came with it in being one day found out. What about the people that get hurt from the lies and deceptions who truly fall in love with them and finds out they homosexual and could never be loved by them the way they should and all they do is sneak around and lie.

Like the Gentiles, “do not call anything impure that God has made clean.” They are truth that came to light. Luke 8:17 “For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.” Our problem is know that we know pray to God when it’s truly His call to deal with. Certain things only God can change, it’s not up to us. All we can do is pray. Amen!!!

The world is being changed for the better. The system in which it has been operating is being demolished. All powers and principalities, spiritual wickedness in high places is rampant, like the devil has been let lose in our lives. People’s mind and hearts emotionally is running so deep, it’s explosive. You can actually feel and see it, if you’re kingdom born, disciplined and well educated in such things pertaining to our Father’s business here on earth.

For years a paradigm shift has been predicted and this is it people, evolution. Every millennium humanity find ourselves in this situation, coming to the pinnacle of our existence. God doesn’t change but humanity sure does. We must change and have to each time we evolve from one level to another. It’s like being born a enfant and then grown into adulthood. The world it self plays a part in our evolution just by the never ending spinning. Take a look at what’s been going on. Everything in the dark has come to light. Nothing is hidden, the lies and truth is being revealed.

The actual enlightenment of the process of change is so much in similarity to that of labour pains as when a woman give birth. The pain becomes the enemy fighting against her, but yet it’s part of the process for the birth to be complete. We being the one change is taking place in are feeling the pain. Everything feels so out of control and crazy for now, but order will be established in due time.

I’ve been saying these same words for years now ever since I had, The Visions of Love with the Blessed Mother Mary when she asked the question, “how well learnt are We?” When I’d concentrated on the question for all of humanity I began with our position with faith, ourselves, others and all of God’s creations. My concerns about lessons we still not learning was the confusion of the many religions killing, hurting condemning and judging one another when all things are created by the One and Only God we are all fighting for the rights to earn and claim as our own. We as humanity not being able to see we can make the world a better place by resisting the devil (all sins) in our lives especially racism which started with the devil against humanity.

“It just didn’t make any sense, I thought to myself.” Why would Harry take up his wife and leave the Royal life. I wanted so much for the royal family to have a woman of colour representing. Wow! “After all it was history making.” First a black President of the United States and now a black Princess in UK. Life for black people is finally getting good and we are beginning to be treated fairly as equals. But much to my surprise, I was so crushed to learn that Harry and Meghan left their Royal duties and it didn’t make sense. It felt devastating, and disappointment; I would think, especially to all young black girls who’d dreamed of one day becoming a Princess too and to see it’s possible. And like a door slammed in your face, or your awaken from a beautiful dream, it’s over!

I am anticipating this interview Prince Harry, his wife Meghan with Oprah which air tomorrow at 8pm (cst). I couldn’t believe the backlash from the palace already against Meghan and the story has yet to be told. This is more than just racism. This is a runaway train by the palace, their traditions and blatant prejudice to outsiders. The laws must change. Haven’t these people learned anything from what happened to Princess Diana. The more the attack Prince Harry and Meghan the more the Royals popularity sinks. This can bring them down if not handle properly this time for sure. I was so hurt to hear the new allegation by the staff about Meghan. Not even knowing her personally, but for sure I knew it is a lie. They might as well had said she has stolen the borrowed Tierra she wore for her wedding and maybe a few cutlery and dishes too. They are insulting and shameful by their own actions right now, just when they had gotten the respect and admiration of the world in allowing Harry and Meghan to marry. Their marriage could of worked wonders in their favor.

I am so angry that anyone would believe for a moment that Prince Harry would allow Meghan to encourage him to leave his family the only family he’s had since the passing of his mother, like he has no back bone for himself. He’s an army officer for crying out loud and a decorated one at that, who served. He’s to me a natural born leader and trained to see danger and do whatever it takes to protect himself and others to escape it. He’s always been a free spirit. I use to hear and read of all the trouble he was getting himself into and it sounded like a cry for help or maybe he was looking for where he can fit in. One thing I’ve always realized is the palace always fixed whatever went wrong especially negative things to ruin their family published in the tabloids.

Could it be that the Palace is more upset over the fact that Prince Harry is going to have an American child? After all it is royal blood regardless. How could they have not known for a moment that Prince Harry, if he didn’t get his way when it came to protecting his family at all cost was going to leave for good. Yes, it meant that much to him, plain to see it’s has always been about what happened to his mom. Meghan loves him enough to follow his lead. I believe maybe they wanted to live in Canada, but both were better off in America after all Meghan is an American.

Things should of never gotten so bad with the Prince Harry, Meghan and the Royal Palace. It’s clear to see that even after Princess Diana death a lot of change is still yet to be taken place in the Royal Palace. Really the only thing that they got from everything Princess Diana has been through where they are concern is let everyone marry who they love? Really, that’s all! Maybe they should go back and read her Biography.

Times has change and tradition and things the way it use to be is no longer going to be, take for example with the pandemic we have no other choice but to make changes in our lives that necessary. William and Harry both are the changes needed for the monarchy to press on into the future and make it better than before by doing something different like their mother did. She was preparing them for such a time as now. I can only pray they know truly who they are and what’s really is their purpose. I believe it is to use their status to make positive changes in their lives all surrounding them and in the world.

As I sit here writing, I couldn’t help but think to myself, the importance for all blacks to know the history of our people, from being enslaved, fighting for our rights like if being a different skin color made you not a human being, to be treated like an animal or even worst. It’s sad, because there are animals treated better than some black people have ever been treated, even today. Whenever I think of the suffering of black people I think of the four hundred years of the Israelites in Egypt enslaved by Pharaoh who refused to have let them go. But yet Pharaoh was afraid that they would one day take them over, because there was too many of them. God send Moses to deliver them out of their bondage.

Black History Month is vital to our exixtence it teaches blacks can do great things and be more than just slaves. We are capable of making the world a better place. When given the chance we can excel into greatness and accomplish so much.

We’ve come a long way and still the victory to be won for equality is a continuous battle. It hurts me to know after all blacks has been through, stolen from their country brought to foreign lands and enslaved. Their are some whites, especially old timers who believes to themselves, blacks are so privilege today what more do we want? What’s this, “Black Lives Matter!” Some whites even want for things to go back the way it was when they ruled, and abused blacks, who had no rights. They’d wish blacks to stay in their place of submissions to their authority and control like the good old days. I heard them speaking when they thought I wasn’t listening and I’ve even seen the looks in some of their eyes towards a black person especially the black men, it’s very hurtful. As a black woman, I strongly believe we are not the threat, but our fathers, brothers, husbands and sons are for some reason.

I could never forget this, it was in elementary school the first time I was called the N-word by a classmate and told to go back to Africa which is not where I was born. I could remember it, like it was yesterday, that hurt I felt already feeling isolated being one of the only black child in my class and afraid of being in a new school surrounded by so many strangers and them being all white. I suck it up and said nothing, because I was petrified and intimated. First year in high school, history class, studying ancient humans when one of my classmates after our teacher had given a description of the first humans looking like Apes, Neanderthal man, he turned looked at me and said, “look they are describing what you look like” and the entire class broke out in laughter. This time I didn’t felt intimidated or petrified, my respond was, “why then are you here on my earth if I was here first, no wonder you white people hate us.” There was a silence that you could of heard a pin dropped. The teacher said nothing, but carried on with his teaching after the brief moment of silence like nothing happened. He didn’t intervene to what the classmate had said nor my response. From then on I realized it was all ignorance that people are prejudice because of lack of wisdom, knowledge and understanding. But those two experiences prepped me for the reality I was going to face in the world as an adult because of the color of my skin. It hurt me deeply within my soul and affected me mental because of my innocence being a child, believing that the color of my skin shouldn’t matter, I was same age as everyone in my class. My first experience with racism and back then and I didn’t even understand that it was racism. You’re not prepared for that, especially if it’s not something you hear about or ever discuss at home.

I have no hate or dislike to any other people of different colors, even if they themselves would have a problem with me. I believe God created all humanity like a bouquet of flowers the beauty of it is in the difference types and the earth is our vase. There’s room for us all and it is our difference in color that makes us stand out equally not above or bellow. It is not the same for each person characteristics or personality. When come to the color of someone’s skin it’s like when it is said, ” Don’t judge the book by its cover.” There are just good and bad people no matter their color or whatever. No one human being is perfect except Jesus who wasn’t even fully human.

There’s so much more I’d like to write about, but I want to end this nice and short. Growing up I was blessed to have two white best friends one was German and the other French Canadian my sisters. We saw each other as people not black or white, but family, thank the Lord! And my husband whom I am married to for over twenty-five years also white for the first time in his life learned the hard reality by marrying a black person teaches you as a white person the existence of racism, especially with sons, it’s for real and it’s brutal. Will continue this topic next Black History Month. God bless!!!