Ephesians 4:26-27 (KJV) Be ye angry, and sin not. Let not the sun go down upon your wrath. Neither give place to the devil. Lord have mercy! Sometimes we know the scripture so well, but when provoked and tempted by what we consider pure evil we lose all control to stand in the knowledge and wisdom of the Lord. Psalm 73:2 “But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold.” That’s what happened to me as I watch a man in authority take advantage of it and was abusing his authority just because he can, a real bully. And for this cause I lost control of my thoughts, emotions and action. I should of known better as a child of God, but my excuse, “the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak” Matthew 26:41.

I visualize myself choking, shooting and hitting him in the head as I was saying my pray when I heard a voice clearly say, “seeing that you’ve done everything you deemed necessary to him already what is left for me to do?” And I was frozen couldn’t even reply for it was the Lord that had spoken to me. The voice came from within my mind that I no longer could continue praying. I was at a lost for words even a thought for a few seconds. Then I said, “speak Lord, speak Lord for thy servant heareth.” Then I heard the voice of the Lord say, ” if you are praying to me for help, then let vengeance be mines.”

I never felt so ashamed for praying to God for help then taking the matter into my own hands instead of waiting on Him. I tried to justify myself by saying, “Faith without works is dead” James 2:14-26. Then conviction of the spirit hits, I was working faith alright no different than the evil bully. I thought to myself maybe that’s why Adam and Eve felt the need to put leaves on themselves when they realized they were naked Genesis 3:7. The shame that is felt within your spirit is like an emptiness a lost you can’t be regain and exposure so embarrassing, but there’s no place you can hide, “busted!” That is what sin felt like not even comprehending that sin can be an emotion and not just something we do.

We sin in thoughts and in deeds. We have to discipline our mind in our reaction to the things that hurts us. How many times Jesus was beaten and tortured yet not once did he retaliated given his abilities and power. He showed us what restraint and true Faith in the will of God and letting it be be done when he didn’t call down the legions of angels to save him from being tortured and crucified.

People can be used by the devil to get to you. You must be discerning as a child of God and not let the enemy win. We are so much stronger in the Lord than we give ourselves credit, if we just keep the Faith, let go and let God do his thing in us and through us.