Memory of my first Christmas was unconventional besides going to church on Christmas eve. We had no Christmas tree or presents. I can recall my aunt doing a lot of house cleaning. The house was spotless. New curtains, furnitures rearranged and the aroma of cooking and baking filled the air. While all us kids were outside playing after some time we would be called in to have our bath and tidy up for dinner. Dinner was amazing, my aunt cooked a lot of food but my favorite was macaroni pie and chicken. Family, friends and our neighbors all will drop by bringing food and drinks. Everyone lived so close it was easy to walk over to our house. After dinner all the kids would go outside and be given a lite up sparkler. Nothing could of prepare us for the surprise we had for desert as we all went inside after the sparklers went out. Even though we had all kinds of baked goods the highlight of our Christmas was getting to eat apples and grapes, what most people take for granted was a joy for us. While other children at Christmas look forward to opening up presents we looked forward to  eating grapes, apples and sparklers.

I learned at an early age that Christmas was about family and friends getting together having dinner and going to church. Church was the one of the first things to be at concerning Christmas and for me it was Sunday school where I learned the true meaning of Christmas. One of the first time in my life I could remember getting my first Christmas present was at a church we were invited to. They had so much presents and everyone in the church got something and you were called up to chose your own gift on a table, not Christmas tree. And I could also remember how much I loved the idea of getting a present for the first time everything was decorated so beautifully wrapped in boxes my curiosity peaked to find out what is in them . All I understood is the presents was symbolic to the gifts brought to Mary and Joseph at Jesus birth in the manger, especially by the Three wise men.

When it came to getting the gifts the children when up first to chose and was always first because after all it’s about baby Jesus. And I never forgot when it was my turn to chose. I looked for the biggest present because I thought maybe there would be so much more things in it after witnessing someone else opened up a small box with two gifts inside. I learned my lesson on greed that day for sure. The gift wasn’t toys but things your family could use like a Bible, books and pen, towels, soaps etc. So I choose the biggest present ever and it’s so vivid in my mind today. I couldn’t wait to go home and opened it up with my family. My sister went after me and picked up an envelop instead which I didn’t pay any attention to on the table my goal was the biggest gift there was. Topical kid, lol. Got home everyone just as curious as I was to open up the gift, that was so big I couldn’t even carry it myself. When my aunt began to open it up it was layers and layers of wrapping and boxes, and finally at the end four rolls of toilet paper, everyone burst out in laughter. Yes, that was definitely not what I had expected. My siblings and cousin were on the floor holding their tummies, crying in laughter. My aunt held back hers and smiled and said, don’t bother with them this is very good. You see back in those days we had a outhouse (toilet) and back in those days to have toilet paper was a luxury. Everyone got great gifts nothing like I did especially my sister who chosed the envelop she got money, five or ten dollars and that was like winning the lottery jackpot five or ten dollars was a lot of money back then. I could still hear the laughter of everyone in my head and still today I myself can’t help but laugh, when back then I felt I wanted to cry.

I never learnt about Santa Claus and Christmas trees until I moved to Canada. Living with another aunt and uncle Christmas was not about cleaning house and church as much as it was about believing in Santa and having that tree up decorated beautifully with so much gifts beneath it. It was magical your imagination of this Santa Claus bring you presents, having to be good and not naughty. Waiting to get a glimpse of him coming down the chimney putting out the milk and cookies. It was all about toys lots and lots of toys anything you can imagine, but there was nothing like getting my very first doll that looked just like me. Waking up to hot warm home made oatmeal that tasted like cookie my uncle made with raisins. Quaker oats couldn’t touch his oatmeal recipe, “it the bomb” as my kids would say. No matter what friends and family always got together to eat, laugh and create wonderful memories. I could never remember thanks be to God back then ever having a bad or sad Christmas.

Moving to Canada definitely change my prospective on the meaning of Christmas. Then going to school we had Christmas parties before the holidays with gift exchange. And at an early age I realized that if you’re given a gift some how you feel obliged to return the favor. And the gift giving thing went on overload in me. I remember it was my step mother who introduced being a Santa Claus to me and also made me her elf at an early age, going shopping with her to make sure everyone and I mean everyone of my siblings, dad, even neighbors and some friends we would give gifts. And I was hooked on the gift giving thing cause I saw how happy it made everyone and how stressful it felt when you forgot some who had given you one. Living with my dad and stepmother there was no friends, family or neighbors, church or the extra cleaning of the house, it was just us alone as a family for Christmas. It wasn’t the same, but we had gifts and got everyone exactly what they would asked for. My stepmother taught us to bake special cakes and bread and cook for our family for Christmas and it was so much fun, but just us and we would eat dinner after. One of the first Christmas spent with my stepmother and father she maxed out the credit cards which after all the fun was done and the reality of the festive season was over. I recalled if being the first time I knew their was no Santa Claus. I heard my dad yelling at my stepmother for spending all the money on Christmas gifts, his exact words, “you like playing Santa Claus!” my heart was broken. I was devastated for her, because I was with her doing all the shopping till the stores closed and it felt so good helping making others happy. I was so caught up myself it didn’t hit me, where is this Santa Claus and why isn’t he the one to bring the presents? My out look on the meaning of Christmas surely changed from then on.

Christmas to me was wonderful season and feeling, because I am a giver and I love to give. I would always try to make sure I never left anyone out. When began to have a family of my own I wanted my children to experience Christmas like I did when I first came to Canada, with the Christmas tree, Santa Claus and presents, lots of them. That was short lived when one day a friend of the family who grew up with myself and siblings like a sister to whom I was Godmother to one of her two children. And I would never forget this as long as I live. I was playing Santa Claus as usual and so proud of myself when I bought her kids gifts, lots and lots of gifts because I do believe Christmas is about and for the little children, especially the giving of presents. My girlfriend kindly walked up to me as I placed the last gift on the floor of her living room and said, “Joey let this be the first and last time sis, cause Christmas is not about gifts; material things. You being here to eat with us is more than anything you can give materially, please don’t be angry.” I didn’t know how to respond other than, “okay, I am sorry.” She smiled at me and replied, “there’s nothing to be sorry about you didn’t do anything wrong. I just learned something so important about this season they celebrated the birth of Christ and everyone is going about it wrong. People, business people especially is making the birth of our Lord and savior a money making business which has no significance to the reason Christ birth is so important. They don’t even mention him, instead there is Santa Claus this imaginary being. I was just as devastated as when I found out my stepmother was the only Stanta Claus and there was no other.

The true meaning of Christmas has been the presence of love ones through out my life. But what my girlfriend had to say took away all my misconceptions of gifts being one of the most integral part of it. We can’t have the celebration of Christmas without understanding it’s meaning. According to the Bible it’s about love, sacrifice, deliverance, redemption and servitude to the will of God. There is no written scripture to justify the way the world celebrates the birth of Christ with gifts. Many people don’t go to church or even know what Christmas is truly all about, but look forward to the holidays and all the perks that goes with it like parties, dinners and gifts. I love that it is the spirit of giving, but so many people give because of feeling obligated especially to someone who has give them. Half the time unless it money people are regifting to others what they had gotten and had no use for. I love the idea of people donating money and food to banks and collecting toys for the less fortunate children. But I realize there are those who capitalized on one of our most holy day. Once again man and our freedom to chose, so we chose to do things our way the only way we know how.

Thank God for His way not being like ours. I could just imagine instead of God giving his son to the world just giving another tree to eat of or material things, could be anything He is God who can do all things especially the impossible to cleanse us from our sins. But instead it was his presence that made all the difference. Nothing could of replaced presence. Look how far humanity came. Sin was supose to destroy us, but now through Him we have grace. We are able to do mighty things through him now all because of His presence.