To all that read my blog, I am so sorry for not blogging as much as I should. I wait all the time for my daughter to edit my blogs and sometimes she’s so busy doing her own thing which I don’t blame her and I do appreciate with all of my heart when she does take time out of her life busy schedule to read my blogs and edit it for me. For the first time she was adamant and refused. She said, ” I am pretty sure mom I taught you everything you need to know, how to advertise, to even post your blog, so why aren’t you?” Like a child I replied, I just can’t remember how to copy and paste which is the truth.” She did, she taught me how to do this so long ago when I first learned to blog and was still afraid of using the computer. Whenever something would go wrong or pop up while I am using the computer I’d panic cause I wouldn’t know what to do, but I am learning and still a work in progress.

I said to my daughter it is ok if she didn’t want to edit my blog, I kind of understood her frustration with me. I’ve learned this saying, “don’t just give someone fish all the time, teach them how to fish for themselves.” After thirty something years of being a mother I had to learn this for my grown children and stop babying them. So what she said made me  realized I had to, like how I am trying to teach them be independent of me. I don’t believe myself to be intelligent enough to be a writer. My punctuation and grammar is so terrible. I didn’t like school and English was not my favorite subject simply because I suck at it, even it being my mother tongue. I speak with an accent and I write just how I speak according to my grade nine teacher. All of my life going to school suffering and not knowing I had dyslexia that’s why learning was so difficult for me. I found out only when my first born, like me, was having the same learning disabilities as I did in school and was tested. Instead of being beaten for not learning back in my days I wished they had known about dyslexia. I couldn’t read music, I hated math class and didn’t like reading and comprehension cause I’d read but never could understand and to this day don’t like reading much except for the bible.

My greatest fear is that I am not good enough or capable. When it comes to my writing I am not confident at all, but with someone besides me to read it over and edit it gives me reassurance and confidence. My problem is confidence and the lacking there of. I do know I’ve got to step up and be of good courage as Psalm 27:14 and the Lord will strengthen me. Philippians 4:13 I could do all things through Christ which strengthens me. I know that God will always except whatever we try and do for the greater glory of him, but man they are never satisfied and I just would like to punch them in the nose for their ignorance. I worry too much about every little thing. I know I could do it just got to stop being so afraid and lack self confidence.