The day the music stopped for me was June 25, 2009. I couldn’t believe it: Michael Jackson,  my  companion in the spirit was dead.i always felt like he was a part of me that only God and myself knew. I didn’t believe it, I thought to myself it was a hoax. People just like to start bad rumors. I was in the movie theater watching Paranormal Activity 1 when it first came out; when I got the call. Here I  was thinking to myself saying, something is wrong  and I just don’t know what it is and I kept on feeling sad. The last time I felt like this was when I got the news that my sister had passed. The night he died, I got the call that my niece was in labour and I know my emotion was high because I was in the midst of watching the movie and worrying about how long it would take me to get to where she was. I just started crying and my daughter turned and said to me, “we can leave if you want,” but I didn’t want to disappoint her because it was our family movie day  we did together. In my heart of hearts I felt like there was something really bad has happen, or is about too and I was so worried it may be complications with the delivery. I had kt hustle out the cinema after the movie ended. I threw a few things in a suitcase and was on my way to her. And that night before midnight as I remember, I had arrived. The baby is now all grown up at seven years old is born on June 25, 2009. Michael Jackson was assumed to had been be dead early that afternoon at 2:26pm around the time I started crying for no reason. I got to the hospital by a little after nine and my niece had already given birth a few seconds before.

What brought all of this about is the fact that for the first time since Michael death, I realized that I had stopped watching any music awards shows. I even gave up on wanting to be singer and no longer wanting to be rich and famous. I wanted to be these things so I could be a part in his world so he could trust when I would say I love him that it wouldn’t be because I wanted what he had and represent, I would have have my own. I watch the 2016 Soul Train awards and saw Teddy Riley receive the Legend Award which brought back a lot of memories for me with his music and what broke my heart was to find out after loving Teddy Riley music for so long that he collaborated with Michael on the song that I love the most, that I always felt like Michael was singing to me about our past life together, ” Do you remember the time.” No I am not crazy, I knew him to love him even if he was to be just a stranger I would have met in my life time and he wasn’t rich and famous. There was just something about a kindred spirit connection I felt towards him. People saw the entertainer Michael Jackson I saw a spiritual being full of light in the form of a man and like Jesus, was misunderstood and treated badly. He was a genius, perfectionist and eccentric that tried to fit into a world that he didn’t belong to so much like myself. Michael Jackson, to me, is an angel sent from up above and what killed him, like Jesus, was his love for people. His shy child-like persona was the key to knowing just how innocent he really was. If we could have all gotten close enough to had looked into his eyes we wouldve seen it and yes, even through his temper tantrums. He was a dreamer and to show just how astute he was, if he dreamt it he made it happen. Michael had the ability to tap into the spiritual realm. His music was his ministry and for that reason he was able to reach heights with it through his connection with the spiritual realm unlike any other. When in the studio, on stage or anything with his gift, Michael became like a person slain in the spirit and all that comes out of him was genius.

To me, Michael didn’t come here to work, get married and have child and live happily ever after that’s why it didn’t work out all so well for him. But I truly believe that God had sent him into the world to minister through his music and his life. He wasn’t sent by God for anyone of us to judge him on everything he’d done wrong in his life, but was to touch our life in the way that he did like so many other rich and famous people. God to me allows the good and the bad things that could happen in life to us to shine light of wisdom knowledge and understanding for those who are capable to discern so he can use us as teachers or even prophets. It is for me all part of God’s plan. Michael’s life to me depicts the story in the bible of Joseph, his brothers and the robe of many colours given to him by his father; their jealousy towards him for the love his father had for him and being accused of being a dreamer and not a prophet was almost killed for it and instead was thrown into a pit and then sold into slavery (Genesis 37) Even being thrown into prison for being wrongfully accused of a crime he didn’t commit (Genesis 39:7-20). It was written Genesis 39:5-6 The house of the Egyptian was blessed for the sake of Joseph, he was a goodly person and well favoured by the Lord.

I love this man for reasons unexplained. To his family, they must think to themselves people like me just love Michael Jackson because of his singing, dancing and music, which in some way is the truth, if he didn’t become famous for it, then we would not have known of his existence. They knew Michael Jackson as family, a person not an image, the entertainer, but with his strengths and weakness intimately. But those who has eyes to see, I know I saw, and those who had ears to hear, I know heard. As a child I always wanted to know why didn’t the people know who Jesus was before they crucified him and why they hated him so much for doing good?  And I made a vow to myself that if Jesus was to ever return in my life time I want to be able to recognize him or her and I prayed about it all the time even today for the spirit of truth and discernment. I never want to have ever feel like Jesus was alive so close to me and I passed him by; didn’t even get a touch, so I could be healed.

If anyone here on earth had ever truly experience the power of divinity upon your life like it is written in the Bible you always have oppositions; battles you have to fight you never saw coming for no apparent reason other than the enemy trying to take you down. Think of all the chosen men and women of the Bible always a in a battle within themselves or something on the outside surrounding them. And it all has to do with being a child of God and his righteousness in you. John 16:33 In the world you shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer I have overcome the world. John 15:18-19 If the world hate you, you know that it hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love his own, but because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

I wish people would stop saying he faked his death and that he is still alive, because he’s not. It just goes to show that people have never understood or really taken the time to realize or care about Michael Jackson the person, a human being like themselves with strengths and weaknesses, not just an entertainer; the image. All they ever did was lie and speculate about him. Like Jesus, he wasn’t invincible to the attacks by the evil of the world and not everyone was for him or even cared about him other than what it benefit them and to find ways to bring him down. Whenever they hurt him, it was like hurting me, I felt his pain even today it breaks my heart to hear all the negative things some idiots still have to say and joke about him. I would like to fight them all believe me if I had the power to. I do understand that people who are not for you are against you just for being who you are created by God and you can’t touch everyone’s lives in a positive way like you would want to. But people sometimes got to understand and respect you serving your purpose in the world that God has chosen you for and it may not be to them or for them as they would like; turn away from their hatred towards you, let you serve your purpose and they theirs.

I never got the chance meet Michael in the flesh, but God had allowed me to meet him in the spirit in a dream. There was a website that people could write their condolences for Michael and I stayed up all night after cleaning my daughter’s residence at university and wrote about how Michael impacted my life and the dream I had of him on a retreat. The next day on my way home from a nine hours trip with my husband and youngest child at seven in the morning , the sky was as dark as can be, looked like rain was coming or some kind of a storm. Everyday before my day begins, I start with prayers even when we are on road driving to any destiny I pray. I thought about Michael and said a prayer for him and his family because I knew what it was like to lose a family member I lost my sister the mother of my niece that was in labour. I was praying and meditating on my thoughts and then proceeded to turned on one of Michaels CDS in the car and was listening and jamming to it. But around nine the clouds withdraw and the sun came out and lite up the sky. The clouds started forming figures in the sky. All I am going to say is that the message was clear it was Michael responding to my condolence. I started seeing figures like a heart, microphone, Genie in the sky, like the Aladdin, the symbol of A minus in the form of a Grammy award a dog, chimpanzee all kind of things that I knew all had to do with him  and I started crying there’s no way on earth something like this could be happening or even be possible. My fifteen year old looked out the window and started freaking out saying, “mommy, mommy its really him and my husband trying to stare the car and look at the same time couldn’t see what were looking at in the sky. My son started to crying he said he was just freaked out.

One day again after crying out my eyes over his passing watching his videos was a way of me mourning his death for months. My husband was kind enough along with my children to have bought me whatever CDS or DVDS of Michael Jackson I didn’t have even the new ones that came out after his passing. The stores was selling out his music like crazy. I was so devastated and inconsolable one time  watching one of Michael video the Earth song and my daughter turn to her father and said, “you better console your wife” and with a stern jealous voice he replied, ” she crying about another man for God sakes.” I couldn’t help but pause for a second from my crying and look right at him and said, “but I love him you don’t understand.” He said,” you don’t even know him and he you for crying out loud.” And I told him he was just jealous because I love another man, I love him with the love of Jesus he can’t be hating!

Just recently I after watching the Soul Train awards I started sing again and my desires to become a singer came back, but I don’t want fame, after seeing what it had done to him. I’d rather be in the background writing song for others to sing. If I had the means to do the things Michael had done to his appearance which was a refection on what was going  on the inside, it would be to get a complete mind makeover. My appearance is deceiving for I appear to look good on the outside, but the  brain it’s to complex for this world. I do feel like an outcast, like I don’t belong here in this world because of my thoughts which leads to the way I live and how it affects my life.