To all that read my blog, I am so sorry for not blogging as much as I should. I wait all the time for my daughter to edit my blogs and sometimes she’s so busy doing her own thing which I don’t blame her and I do appreciate with all of my heart when she does take time out of her life busy schedule to read my blogs and edit it for me. For the first time she was adamant and refused. She said, ” I am pretty sure mom I taught you everything you need to know, how to advertise, to even post your blog, so why aren’t you?” Like a child I replied, I just can’t remember how to copy and paste which is the truth.” She did, she taught me how to do this so long ago when I first learned to blog and was still afraid of using the computer. Whenever something would go wrong or pop up while I am using the computer I’d panic cause I wouldn’t know what to do, but I am learning and still a work in progress.

I said to my daughter it is ok if she didn’t want to edit my blog, I kind of understood her frustration with me. I’ve learned this saying, “don’t just give someone fish all the time, teach them how to fish for themselves.” After thirty something years of being a mother I had to learn this for my grown children and stop babying them. So what she said made me  realized I had to, like how I am trying to teach them be independent of me. I don’t believe myself to be intelligent enough to be a writer. My punctuation and grammar is so terrible. I didn’t like school and English was not my favorite subject simply because I suck at it, even it being my mother tongue. I speak with an accent and I write just how I speak according to my grade nine teacher. All of my life going to school suffering and not knowing I had dyslexia that’s why learning was so difficult for me. I found out only when my first born, like me, was having the same learning disabilities as I did in school and was tested. Instead of being beaten for not learning back in my days I wished they had known about dyslexia. I couldn’t read music, I hated math class and didn’t like reading and comprehension cause I’d read but never could understand and to this day don’t like reading much except for the bible.

My greatest fear is that I am not good enough or capable. When it comes to my writing I am not confident at all, but with someone besides me to read it over and edit it gives me reassurance and confidence. My problem is confidence and the lacking there of. I do know I’ve got to step up and be of good courage as Psalm 27:14 and the Lord will strengthen me. Philippians 4:13 I could do all things through Christ which strengthens me. I know that God will always except whatever we try and do for the greater glory of him, but man they are never satisfied and I just would like to punch them in the nose for their ignorance. I worry too much about every little thing. I know I could do it just got to stop being so afraid and lack self confidence.

 

 

Couldn’t help it, the thought just popped into my head as I was reflecting on the Exodus story. I realized that God didn’t send Moses back to Egypt to face his demons, but God send Moses to deliver his people out of bondage, like the bondage he was in concerning his true identity being a Hebrew but yet brought up an Egyptian. When Moses was grown up and found out he was Hebrew, in Exodus 2:11-15 he went out unto his people and saw their burdens and there was an Egyptian who was beating one of them and Moses killed him. He then had to fled from the face of Pharaoh, who sought to kill him. He questioned if there was God, why wasn’t God getting them out of their bondage. If he only knew God was waiting on him to come into his presence and acknowledge him; his purpose for being drawn out of the water and brought up in the palace by the Pharaoh’s sister as an Egyptian, was to wait patiently for Moses to come into the knowledge of who he is, not an Egyptian, but a Hebrew to deliver his people from their bondage. God did hear the cry of the people and of Moses regarding how he felt about Hebrews situation. Moses was like a single man and looking for a spouse to have a relationship with and  share their life with until they found God. They came together to care for these unruly children which they both love and cared about. These children are the reason for them coming together in the first place.

First Moses was like I don’t think I could do this, I don’t have what it takes to be a good parent I have issues but then God was like I am going to stand all the way with you through this, you’re not going to be alone we are going to do this together (Exodus 3 and 4). Now Moses left the children with the babysitter Aaron whiles up in the mount getting instructions from God on the next step in parenting. They felt he was taking to long, or maybe he had left them, when God told Moses to get down from the mount, for the people have corrupted themselves (God’s motherly instinct when your child or children is in trouble). Moses came down and found all hell had broke loose with the children. Sometimes you have to know who to trust to leave your children with to hold the house together when you’re not around(Exodus 32) Moses was so angry at Aaron he asked him what did they do that he brought such a sin upon them. Aaron says, “don’t be angry Moses these people like being mischievous and asked me to make them a God to go before them cause they didn’t know where you were.”(Exodus 32:21-24) Aaron was just not stern and discipline enough to handle these children without the assist of Moses being around.

Moses had to take back control after everything was out of control when he’d left them with Aaron and God wasn’t too please with the children either, who were so disobedient, rebellious and stubborn. God called them stiff necked people and wanted to consumed them(Exodus 32:8-10) It was like God was ready to have an abortion and Moses pleaded for them (Exodus 32:11-14) But when he came down and saw what they were doing in the camp, dancing and worshipping a golden calf they made and then he cast the tablets of ten commandments at them(Exodus 32:16and19)  He understood God’s anger towards the Israelite children. Then again (Numbers 11:10) Moses heard the weeping throughout their families every man in the door of his tent and the anger of the Lord was kindled greatly and Moses got so discourage and displeased with the people that he started to rant and rage at God for giving him the responsibility for them. All of a sudden it was God’s bad children not his(Numbers 11:11-15). God had promised to be with Moses so he gave him all the help he needed so he wouldn’t feel frustrated and angry. He even gave the children what they wanted  so they would stop complaining and misbehaving(Numbers 11:16-35).

Isn’t this like typical parents to start fighting among yourselves because you have a problem with a child or children. It is never your fault or from your side of the family, somebody has to get the blame. One parent is always trying to make excuses most of the time it’s the mother and the other who is very stern at not accepting of any excuse: the father. Funny with God and Moses they switch like good cop bad cop. There are some parents who play the same game with their children, especially those going through or in a divorce where they want the kids to like them the best. And then there are those kinds of parents who want so much to be loved by and be their child or children friend that they would spoil them rotten. But not these two one is either hot or cold, and with good reason when they work together they become warm, just the right temperature to settle the matter. Doing this they were both working together as one even though there are many times one is always ready to throw in the towel and call it quit.

I can’t help but be angry at Moses meddling father-in-law Jethro(Exodus 18:14-25) for making Moses lose sight of the one accord he and God was working in for the people when he came up with the brilliant idea which got Moses weak. The reason for me saying that Jethro’s idea was the reason for Moses getting weak is before he pointed it out to Moses, what he was doing was not good for him or the people and it will wear him and the people with him out for it was too heavy for him and he is not able to perform it alone(Exodus 18:17-18) Moses didn’t even realize he wasn’t cable of handling all that was given unto him, after seeing all that God had done as he said he was going to do through him and with him to deliver the people out of Egypt. Moses knew and felt God was with him as promised so he could of only done it through him and would of continued doing it. He started out by not having enough faith in God and himself, to all faith in everything in God. Have you ever found yourself doing things or something that defies the norms and don’t even realize you shouldn’t be able too? Like being a single parent working two jobs, having dinner ready, being there for homework, showing up for after school activities, lunches made and kids tucked in bed, cleaned the house and the next day start all over trying to never miss a beat and your child or children, so well mannered and structured. Then here comes someone telling you shouldn’t or I don’t know how you do it, because if it was me I’d burn out, and I just couldn’t or wouldn’t do it. But through having faith in God you can boldly say, ” for it is by the Grace of God I am able and capable.”

Moses had, as scriptures declares in(Numbers 11:16-17), seventy spirits upon him and God decided to take off the seventy spirit  and place them upon seventy elders to help him carry the burden of the people when Moses ranted and raged about all the constant demands, wining and complaints of the people. God also ranted and raged and got angry enough, that three thousand died and were plagued (Exodus 32:28 and 35) When God came with the discipline, all bad had to go, his way definitely had an impact on the children that terrify them. Both God and Moses  always gave into whatever the children wanted and complained about. Like a typical loving parent who will never leave nor forsake their child or children no matter how bad or good, whatever they maybe. After everything Moses and God had done for these people they still weren’t satisfied they continued to whine and complain now wanting water. God had, had enough even Moses too with these people, if it was not one thing it was the other and they always go back to saying like spoiled children the same things to hurt Moses and God(Numbers 21:5-10 And the people spoke against Moses saying why did you bring us out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? there’s no bread and our soul loathes this light bread. Number 20:3-5 And the people contended with Moses and spoke saying, “if only we had died when our brethren died before the Lord! Why have you bought up the assembly of the Lord into this wilderness, that we and our animals should die here? And why have you made us to come up out of Egypt, to bring us to this evil place? It is not a place of grain or figs or vines or pomegranates nor is there any water to drink.” When they won’t fighting against God like making the golden calf as a sign of rebellion they began to complain about Moses leadership. Even Moses own brother and sister spoke out against him(sibling rivalry) and God was not pleased at what they were saying, just like a mother again and they were disciplined(Numbers 12:1-16). Numbers 21:5-10 God then sent a fiery serpents among the people and they bit them and much people of Israel died. Once again for their wining and complain, but as usual Moses plea for them and God delivered them.

Sometimes as parents the love for your child or children can make you sin your soul by getting angry at them. You do and say things you really don’t mean at times. That’s what happened to Moses at the water of Meribah  Numbers 20:8-13 God told Moses to speak to the rock instead he hit it because he was so angry at the people for their ingratitude and complaining again after everything that had been done for them. Being a parent is a gift when you could be patience, loving unconditionally, caring, forgiving and understanding. This is what I’ve learned from them both that you shall be tried in all aspects, but never give up.

If God is omnipotent (having great or absolute power or influence) why not use it against us to change things to be the way he’d want it for us instead of us putting up a fight and him giving us free will? I guess it’s because as a parent even though your child or children were created by you there’s no control over them, they weren’t created like a robot, they weren’t programed. There’s nothing other than to guide or influence them into knowing to choose that which is good and to make wise choices. If God is omniscient (having infinite or very extensive knowledge) and he knows the out come of our lives why all the struggles, frustration, and pain we must live through. I guess like a parent we can’t live our children lives for them for them to learn. They must go through their own life lessons to really understand and learn for themselves.

Moses and the Israelites were united as a family looking for stability in coming together finding a place to call their own not just where they could fit in , but was theirs. Coming to truth to who they are, the Israelites rooted in God not the world they live in or what held them a slave, but give them liberty. Moses greatest accomplishment to me was his relationship with God and to lead the people he so cared about out of slavery in Egypt. To be rooted and grounded after so long of not know where he belong even though he had fit in perfectly anyway he was placed by the grace of God an Egyptian for a time and now a Hebrew. And God, our father God whom seem to have had no idea what little monsters he created when he’d created humanity got lesson taught to him about how stubborn, disobedient, rebellious and remorseful us humans can be.

God is and will always be the parent operating in our lives. Matthew 23:9 “Call no man your father upon the earth, for one is your father, which is in heaven.” And to me anyone who shall be called mother or father, minister, teacher, whatever and is  being responsible for a human being period better be operating in one accord with God like Moses. Dealing with human beings, you definitely need divine intervention.

I can’t help this feeling I’ve been having for over the last eighteen years that there definitely has been some sort of paradigm shift; a transformation that everyone at one point in time started preaching, and  prophesying about and it didn’t matter what faith-based system of belief they belong to. Some proclaim that it was a positive change and to others, it was the worst.

It has been for centuries the prediction of the world’s end, but yet no end is in sight, to me it’s just the change of the systems of how things worked in the world. The bible does say world without end. (Ephesian 3:21) 1 John 15:15-17 It says that we should not love the world and the things of the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes and the pride of life. You see, Jesus’ death started (I proclaimed started because evil still abound) the conquering of the prince of darkness of this world, giving us believers the abilities needed to be overcomers of the devil’s temptations through the aid of the Holy ghost. We have the unction from the Holy ghost that we know all things, especially the truth, God’s truth.

The prophesy is that we are in the season of God’s silence. We were told in Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.” And Psalm 27:1 “The Lord is my light and salvation; who shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; who shall I be afraid? In both these Psalm we are being told to have faith in God; no matter what the circumstances is in our lives he’s got our back and he’s in control. In this season, we are being tested and tried in His silence. But there is a quietness and a stillness even though it seems like everything else being heard is so loud and moving very fast.

Think of this for a moment what is God silence? when righteousness got forsaken for unrighteousness and a person having morals is outcast, as 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, “Be you not unequally yoked together with unbelievers; for what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion has light with darkness? it has became the norms, that no one is striking these things down immediately. There was a time it was said, you reap what you sew, if you do good, then good shall follow you, you work hard and then you get rewarded for your work. Today is like you have to get by, by luck and chance and who you know. God has been taking out of so many things today, when there was once a time nothing was operating without God. We felt blessed when doing good for others especially it being unconditionally. Today it’s like a curse with entitlement of people. There was a time you never had to worry about being blessed by your peers because you’d know that all you do was for the greater glory of God not yourself and God always in some ways rewarded you because you were never in want of anything and wherever you go and whatever you do, to even whatever happens to you, you were always blessed. But there is a silence from God whether we are the ones shutting him out or he just is.

What does the silence mean? It means that God like a father or mother who has been teaching his or her child to drive a car always sitting on the passenger seat, making sure everything is being done correctly by giving the child all direction and guidance. And as a child, we always believing, “I could do it all by myself” can’t wait for an opportunity to take the car and drive alone, just to prove to yourself and your parents you’re grown right? So God, unlike our parent, has now given us the key to the car and said, “go ahead and drive” meanwhile he already has prepared the police, lawyer, ambulance and anything we’d need in case things do not go as planned, he’ll show up. God always shows up as our defense. You see, we never have to lie or steal the car it is always up to us to take the chance knowing he is with us no matter what.

The lesson is we have been taught well, but do we understood the guidance and direction we were given? And if we do, there would be no need for his interference so his silence is merited. We may be going through what we must with God’s silence to see how well learnt we are, especially after he has given to us all that we need. But don’t be fooled God is not going to sit back and let all hell break through without Him making a move or saying something. Just because it feels like he’s silent doesn’t mean that he is not in control.

I remember the older people long ago used to say, “God always puts a hand(he helps by sending an angel in his stead), sends a man( some stranger that comes to your aid) or comes himself(Jesus)”.

 

 

The day the music stopped for me was June 25, 2009. I couldn’t believe it: Michael Jackson,  my  companion in the spirit was dead.i always felt like he was a part of me that only God and myself knew. I didn’t believe it, I thought to myself it was a hoax. People just like to start bad rumors. I was in the movie theater watching Paranormal Activity 1 when it first came out; when I got the call. Here I  was thinking to myself saying, something is wrong  and I just don’t know what it is and I kept on feeling sad. The last time I felt like this was when I got the news that my sister had passed. The night he died, I got the call that my niece was in labour and I know my emotion was high because I was in the midst of watching the movie and worrying about how long it would take me to get to where she was. I just started crying and my daughter turned and said to me, “we can leave if you want,” but I didn’t want to disappoint her because it was our family movie day  we did together. In my heart of hearts I felt like there was something really bad has happen, or is about too and I was so worried it may be complications with the delivery. I had kt hustle out the cinema after the movie ended. I threw a few things in a suitcase and was on my way to her. And that night before midnight as I remember, I had arrived. The baby is now all grown up at seven years old is born on June 25, 2009. Michael Jackson was assumed to had been be dead early that afternoon at 2:26pm around the time I started crying for no reason. I got to the hospital by a little after nine and my niece had already given birth a few seconds before.

What brought all of this about is the fact that for the first time since Michael death, I realized that I had stopped watching any music awards shows. I even gave up on wanting to be singer and no longer wanting to be rich and famous. I wanted to be these things so I could be a part in his world so he could trust when I would say I love him that it wouldn’t be because I wanted what he had and represent, I would have have my own. I watch the 2016 Soul Train awards and saw Teddy Riley receive the Legend Award which brought back a lot of memories for me with his music and what broke my heart was to find out after loving Teddy Riley music for so long that he collaborated with Michael on the song that I love the most, that I always felt like Michael was singing to me about our past life together, ” Do you remember the time.” No I am not crazy, I knew him to love him even if he was to be just a stranger I would have met in my life time and he wasn’t rich and famous. There was just something about a kindred spirit connection I felt towards him. People saw the entertainer Michael Jackson I saw a spiritual being full of light in the form of a man and like Jesus, was misunderstood and treated badly. He was a genius, perfectionist and eccentric that tried to fit into a world that he didn’t belong to so much like myself. Michael Jackson, to me, is an angel sent from up above and what killed him, like Jesus, was his love for people. His shy child-like persona was the key to knowing just how innocent he really was. If we could have all gotten close enough to had looked into his eyes we wouldve seen it and yes, even through his temper tantrums. He was a dreamer and to show just how astute he was, if he dreamt it he made it happen. Michael had the ability to tap into the spiritual realm. His music was his ministry and for that reason he was able to reach heights with it through his connection with the spiritual realm unlike any other. When in the studio, on stage or anything with his gift, Michael became like a person slain in the spirit and all that comes out of him was genius.

To me, Michael didn’t come here to work, get married and have child and live happily ever after that’s why it didn’t work out all so well for him. But I truly believe that God had sent him into the world to minister through his music and his life. He wasn’t sent by God for anyone of us to judge him on everything he’d done wrong in his life, but was to touch our life in the way that he did like so many other rich and famous people. God to me allows the good and the bad things that could happen in life to us to shine light of wisdom knowledge and understanding for those who are capable to discern so he can use us as teachers or even prophets. It is for me all part of God’s plan. Michael’s life to me depicts the story in the bible of Joseph, his brothers and the robe of many colours given to him by his father; their jealousy towards him for the love his father had for him and being accused of being a dreamer and not a prophet was almost killed for it and instead was thrown into a pit and then sold into slavery (Genesis 37) Even being thrown into prison for being wrongfully accused of a crime he didn’t commit (Genesis 39:7-20). It was written Genesis 39:5-6 The house of the Egyptian was blessed for the sake of Joseph, he was a goodly person and well favoured by the Lord.

I love this man for reasons unexplained. To his family, they must think to themselves people like me just love Michael Jackson because of his singing, dancing and music, which in some way is the truth, if he didn’t become famous for it, then we would not have known of his existence. They knew Michael Jackson as family, a person not an image, the entertainer, but with his strengths and weakness intimately. But those who has eyes to see, I know I saw, and those who had ears to hear, I know heard. As a child I always wanted to know why didn’t the people know who Jesus was before they crucified him and why they hated him so much for doing good?  And I made a vow to myself that if Jesus was to ever return in my life time I want to be able to recognize him or her and I prayed about it all the time even today for the spirit of truth and discernment. I never want to have ever feel like Jesus was alive so close to me and I passed him by; didn’t even get a touch, so I could be healed.

If anyone here on earth had ever truly experience the power of divinity upon your life like it is written in the Bible you always have oppositions; battles you have to fight you never saw coming for no apparent reason other than the enemy trying to take you down. Think of all the chosen men and women of the Bible always a in a battle within themselves or something on the outside surrounding them. And it all has to do with being a child of God and his righteousness in you. John 16:33 In the world you shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer I have overcome the world. John 15:18-19 If the world hate you, you know that it hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love his own, but because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

I wish people would stop saying he faked his death and that he is still alive, because he’s not. It just goes to show that people have never understood or really taken the time to realize or care about Michael Jackson the person, a human being like themselves with strengths and weaknesses, not just an entertainer; the image. All they ever did was lie and speculate about him. Like Jesus, he wasn’t invincible to the attacks by the evil of the world and not everyone was for him or even cared about him other than what it benefit them and to find ways to bring him down. Whenever they hurt him, it was like hurting me, I felt his pain even today it breaks my heart to hear all the negative things some idiots still have to say and joke about him. I would like to fight them all believe me if I had the power to. I do understand that people who are not for you are against you just for being who you are created by God and you can’t touch everyone’s lives in a positive way like you would want to. But people sometimes got to understand and respect you serving your purpose in the world that God has chosen you for and it may not be to them or for them as they would like; turn away from their hatred towards you, let you serve your purpose and they theirs.

I never got the chance meet Michael in the flesh, but God had allowed me to meet him in the spirit in a dream. There was a website that people could write their condolences for Michael and I stayed up all night after cleaning my daughter’s residence at university and wrote about how Michael impacted my life and the dream I had of him on a retreat. The next day on my way home from a nine hours trip with my husband and youngest child at seven in the morning , the sky was as dark as can be, looked like rain was coming or some kind of a storm. Everyday before my day begins, I start with prayers even when we are on road driving to any destiny I pray. I thought about Michael and said a prayer for him and his family because I knew what it was like to lose a family member I lost my sister the mother of my niece that was in labour. I was praying and meditating on my thoughts and then proceeded to turned on one of Michaels CDS in the car and was listening and jamming to it. But around nine the clouds withdraw and the sun came out and lite up the sky. The clouds started forming figures in the sky. All I am going to say is that the message was clear it was Michael responding to my condolence. I started seeing figures like a heart, microphone, Genie in the sky, like the Aladdin, the symbol of A minus in the form of a Grammy award a dog, chimpanzee all kind of things that I knew all had to do with him  and I started crying there’s no way on earth something like this could be happening or even be possible. My fifteen year old looked out the window and started freaking out saying, “mommy, mommy its really him and my husband trying to stare the car and look at the same time couldn’t see what were looking at in the sky. My son started to crying he said he was just freaked out.

One day again after crying out my eyes over his passing watching his videos was a way of me mourning his death for months. My husband was kind enough along with my children to have bought me whatever CDS or DVDS of Michael Jackson I didn’t have even the new ones that came out after his passing. The stores was selling out his music like crazy. I was so devastated and inconsolable one time  watching one of Michael video the Earth song and my daughter turn to her father and said, “you better console your wife” and with a stern jealous voice he replied, ” she crying about another man for God sakes.” I couldn’t help but pause for a second from my crying and look right at him and said, “but I love him you don’t understand.” He said,” you don’t even know him and he you for crying out loud.” And I told him he was just jealous because I love another man, I love him with the love of Jesus he can’t be hating!

Just recently I after watching the Soul Train awards I started sing again and my desires to become a singer came back, but I don’t want fame, after seeing what it had done to him. I’d rather be in the background writing song for others to sing. If I had the means to do the things Michael had done to his appearance which was a refection on what was going  on the inside, it would be to get a complete mind makeover. My appearance is deceiving for I appear to look good on the outside, but the  brain it’s to complex for this world. I do feel like an outcast, like I don’t belong here in this world because of my thoughts which leads to the way I live and how it affects my life.

 

I remember there was once a time that being mentally ill meant that you were possessed by the devil and it frightened me. Even some illness like being epileptic, having paranoid schizophrenia, and depression long ago had a lot of families looking for priests to do exorcisms. We didn’t have the understanding back then like we do now. Thanks to the study of psychology and how the brain works by neurologists we can now say it is an illness not demonic possession which gives relief to the families and individuals that suffer from it because just imagine your whole entire family being ostracize for being possessed by demons, but remember that demonic possession is real and that not all mental illnesses are truly mental illnesses.

For some people, exorcism did cure them especially if they believe in it. Today it would be considered a psychological breakthrough to the scientists. What people failed to realize is that faith in anything can truly bring about results, whether it is a ritual of some sort, a religious practice or belief, it can work for believer. There are some mental illness for which there is no cure but for which medication is taken in an attempt to suppress it.

I remember it like it was yesterday, when I was just four years old and living with my aunt and uncle. There was this young lady no more than nine-teen years old who had just given birth to a baby boy. I don’t know how old the baby was for I was just a child and a baby is a baby; I didn’t know the difference that a baby could be considered months and days old. Anyway, my aunt and uncle’s friend was a minster and this young woman was demonically possessed and was brought to them for an exorcism. Something happened to her after having the baby that made her look like an old lady. I was a child and remembered the grownups speaking about a curse on her for going with a married man from England, it was supposed to have killed the baby, but somehow it affected her instead and she went crazy. How much of this was truth? I don’t know. It was the first time, as a child, that I ever saw and heard of something so frightening. The woman did look like an old wrinkly woman, but then again all grownups were old and wrinkly to me except children like myself. I saw them perform the exorcism with my own eyes. They stripped her naked and shaved her head and rubbed her down with now what I now to be olive oil. Myself, siblings, cousins and friends, even children of the minister were told to go far way and don’t come around the exorcism for whatever demon or demons on her could affect us and our innocence. But no, like normal kids, when we are told no, in our minds it means until you get caught, we had to be nosey, we went peeking into the church and what I saw give me nightmares. The woman was crying and screaming out like she was crazy and on fire or something and all her skin was pealing like she had bad dandruff of the skin and head; it was very scary. One day I remembered being left alone with this possessed woman. She was laying down in the church and the minster had to go for a few minutes which at that time for a small child who’s afraid it seemed like it was an eternity. I was  waiting for my aunt and uncle to finish speaking to the minister, all the other children were already outside playing. The truth is I wanted to get a closer look at the possessed woman while the grownups were distracted speaking. The woman got up and came to me and said, “hi little one,” and I paused for a second and then responded, “hi” scared out of my mind. She stroked me on the head and said, she was tired and will go back to sleep now. I wasn’t afraid of her anymore as I got to see her so close up, she was nice and polite and soft spoken. For the first time I felt like a grown up, I was left to take care of this lady and she spoke to me like I was a grownup telling me what she was going to do. I told her ok, and asked her if she needed some water to drink and she said yes, stoop down to my level as I give her the water to drink and her hands were shaking. I then realized that not only did she not have any hair on her head but no eyebrows also, first time I ever saw a woman with no hair, completely bald, dressed in what looked like a hospital robe, you know how scary that was for me as a child?

This lady, I found out later, was cured and went back to England. Her hair grew back and her skin was smooth and pale and she looked just like she use to very beautiful a model and the baby was growing well. I never saw her again after that day she had spoken to me, but her sister came over to my aunt’s house one day and told us how she was doing and I remember thinking when I grow up I want to be just like her sister, because her sister was the first woman minister I had ever heard preaching in a church and she was just as good as the men and powerful. She was also so beautiful. She was there for the exorcism and she ministered unto her sister.  I was peeking into the church when I first saw and heard her preaching and anointing her sister.

Now that I am grown I often wonder if she was just suffering from postpartum depression. And maybe the man lied to her and she only found out he was married after giving birth to her baby and she went into a deep depression. But I know what I saw and I can’t get it out of my mind, she was old looking and frightening, but after what seems like days or weeks of her being in the church, she was back to her self again. I could say it  was some form of possession because how could she have looked the way she did and then go back to being normal and beautiful? To me being so young it was said that children can sense things spiritually that some adults can’t and I felt something about her that frightened me, something evil and very disturbing.

Mental illness today is on the rise and what does it all mean? Is demonic possession affecting everyone and we don’t know it? Every century or millennium I believe when spiritual warfare begins it is because of changes in the realm of the universe energy which affects the world and everything within it. It’s like everything is out of control without  discipline, the balance has been disturbed because of change. It is faith in God that brings about the restoration of balance. Whenever we start moving away from God by doing our own thing I the midst of the change (growth), we begin to revert into the garden of Eden where Adam and Eve fell short where they were tempted to eat the apple by the devil so they can become like God. (Genesis 3:5) We are not to move away from God, but like Jesus become one with him. Moving away from God causes a disturbance and it all started with the devil when he moved away and in so caused us to also move away and has been causing this tug of war for millennium. Jesus being crucified is the mediator for now until his return to abolish the constant fighting and the balance is completely restored.

There was once a time where scientists believed that we walked on all four before we stood upright and that hair covered our entire body. We were a kind of  ape first then evolved, and whatever we didn’t need for our body, like the hair, our toes that were too long and so on with all kind of crazy ideas like the reason we are smarter than the apes or any animals is because our brains are bigger than theirs. So my question to them is because we have evolved once again and with technology this time that all things we used to do with our big brains we no longer need to because of it, is that why the development of our brains are lacking and so many of us is suffering from mental illness from a scientific point of view?

We can also consider some of the things that is affect the brains with mental illness like whatever chemicals they are putting in our foods, the air that we are breathing with all the pollutions, a high fever, brain damage from an accident, drugs, a tumor or some sort of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). These are all things we can take into consideration regarding why we suffer mental illness. But it all leads up to one thing: possession(the taking control of something).