Just by the one-time visit I had with this doctor, followed by a cancellation at the last minute without explanation should have said it all: there was going to be problems. At first I thought good, this will give me time to make up my mind  about whether or not I wanted to do the surgery or even to have a second opinion about it. But no, I was just so  thankful after waiting for what seems like forever to see a doctor for my knee and not just any doctor but an orthopedic surgeon. He made it seem like it was going to be an easy procedure, that I could even be awake if I wanted to. It would take no more than twenty minutes. I had what is called a meniscus tear, which is the rubbery c-shape disc that cushions your knee, so you don’t have bones rubbing against bones and the operation was to remove all the torn pieces and to see really what was causing me so much pain and discomfort.

I call him the devil doctor because when he wrote something on my left ankle to identify the leg he was going to operate on and it looked like a goat with horns and everything, I should have taken a picture. I tried several times was to wash it off my ankle when I’d taken a shower and  sure enough it didn’t come off and the day I forget to take the picture and said it would never come off anyway, I rubbed it with a little bit of soap and it did erase off with no problem. I would never get that moment backs so no picture. You had to see it to believe it. He never stayed around to speak with me after the operation nor to answer any concerns. I did not even get a call from his office to see how I was doing. No bed side manners at all for a doctor.

For seventeen years he’s been doing this, I’ve looked him up to see if anyone had any comments about his abilities and I just found one. That was a red flag, but it had a big thing on how many languages he can speak. I thought to myself, “who gives a shit, are you kidding me?!” I should have done my research, he’s a doctor quack, that’s why no one comments on him, if they ever had him. He said to me, ” if I feel good don’t even come back and see him after the operation, for real? I told this incompetent idiot, “I really want to say a bad word right now again,” I have a condition called Fibromyalgia, a chronic disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain, fatigue and tenderness in localized areas of the body. It’s been three weeks since the operation and I am still in pain and the knee is still swollen.

I am only going to see him again because I sincerely believe in my heart that he has no idea about how to treated a patient who come to him with this chronic disorder Fibromyalgia, so I want to educate him a little so someone else like my self wouldn’t end up in his care and feel like they made the biggest mistake in their lives.

I’ve realized through this doctor that it is not in man you have to put your trust in when it comes to really having to trust a doctor to do surgery on you. You have to pray God will be overshadowing him in the surgery before these fools kill you. I find that some doctors today don’t become doctors because they have a call and a passion for healing, but for money and that’s all. I must have had several surgeries in my life time and four iof which were for the birthing of my children via C-sections. Today I could only count three of the doctors that I’ve encountered as being called and having a passion for healing. One doctor left something in me, another tried to kill me and my child, misdiagnosed by another and the list goes on. If was not for prayers and the Holy ghost intervention I would be suing a lot of doctors or my family would have to for wrongful death. God has always showed up for me in my times of troubles and for these doctors also I must say. Because of them I know that I am the Lord’s anointed, because I should have been dead a long time ago leave up to them.

This was just my knee and now I know why when the people were on the cross they broke their bones by the knee so that they died faster, because bone pain in the knee is like getting shocked by electricity until you pass out. That’s what the pain in my knee felt like without morphine. I hate taking pain medications period especially the ones that makes you dizzy. All my life I could endure pain, suck it up, and be strong, but this time for the first time in my life as long as I could remember it felt like a shield that protected me from pain whether emotional or physical was torn down. And in my life I’ve been through all kinds of pain that would have  made some people mental, looking for some sort of escape, whether drugs and or want to suicide themselves. All I knew was there is a God, I was born with this knowledge and he would make everything alright. The endurance was never for or about me. I didn’t have father or mother so it was about my younger and older siblings and towards the unborn children I knew I was going to have one day. Nothing ever penetrated my shield until my children all grew up and some even have kids of their own. Thank God I was still able to look after some of them before this disease completely took over my life (chronic pain) it brought me to my knees, emotionally and physically where I cried out I couldn’t take it anymore I need something to help me after this operation.

Less than twenty-four hours after day surgery I ended back in the hospital, in so much pain that I was about to pass out. My blood pressure went down so low for someone in pain, I just couldn’t bare it, I was also nauseated by the pain. I had to be hooked up to  intravenous medication and given nausea meds also to help. This was the worst operation ever, I thought to myself. But then an epiphany hit me, it was the first operation I ever had and had no one to worry about besides myself. I didn’t have anyone or anything I’d have to suck it up and be strong for anymore, just me, it’s now all about me and I couldn’t be strong for myself. I have given all that energy to everyone I love when they  needed it most so they were all strong, but couldn’t reciprocate back to me. I realized through them that being me is a gift to them and they aren’t like me, it is my anointing having being able to give out energy, but only able to receive back from God. It is my calling and my passion, to serve.