How can you discern when everything appears to be the same? Remember we have an adversary that tries to imitate everything that God does, he tries to  confuse us. So how do we discern? We discern by truth, God’s truth 1John4:2 every spirit that confess that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God. God is not a man that he should lie, neither the son of man that he should repent, hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good? (Numbers 23:19) God is truthful and righteous. Isaiah 11:5 And righteousness shall be the girdle of his loins, and faithfulness the girdle of his reins. John14:6 Jesus said, ” I am the way, the truth and the life.” John 18:37 Jesus said, he came into the world that he should bear witness unto the truth. Everyone that is of the truth, hear his voice.

We can all agree that following the teachings of the Bible is the key to understanding the will of God. But interpretation is the key; if it become confusing to us, well we all know where it leads, it leads to discord in faith. I believe that this is why we have so many different religions stemming from the same Bible, that preaches the same God and only begotten son, the crucified Jesus. God gave us the key to open the doors to wisdom, knowledge and understanding of who He is and His love and salvation for us. The key is the Word, and according to John 1:1-14 In the beginning was the Word and Word was with God, and the Word was God. And the Word was made flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.

John 14:12 Jesus said, “verily, verily, I say unto you, he that believe on me, the works that I do shall he do also and greater works than these shall he do, because I go unto my father. So Jesus was saying that we, who believe in him, will have the abilities to do what he has don, the same miracle,s even greater and if we recall the miracles that Jesus has done, turning water to wine, bringing the dead back to life, healing the sick, feeding thousands with five loaves and two fish and performing exorcisms. Jesus was a priest, prophet and king. There was no limitation to his abilities. I believe he was the best psychologist especially with how he dealt with the scribes and the Pharisees when they tried to discredit him. And is it not amazing when we think of it, what we as mankind have been capable of doing ever since Jesus came and resurrected? Even today in the twenty first century from our mind and creativity, spirituality, medical, technology and so much more than we could ever believe we are capable of doing, like the knowledge to travel to out of space. Jesus said, he prayed to the father that he would send another comforter, that will abide with us for ever. He said he will not leave us comfortless. Jesus also spoke about it being expedient that he go away so that the comfort would come and the spirit of truth will come and guide us into all truth. John16:7,13.

Witchcraft and psychic ability, isn’t that what Jesus was being accused of by the scribes and Pharisees. Jesus did some things that were questionable, his miracles had defied all logic, to the point that he was accused of being belzebub the prince of the devil driving out the devil (Matthew 12:24). The fact that Jesus did miracles and his miracles did not consist of rituals, it was all random acts, I would hope it would be fair to say that rituals began with the law, the time of the ten commandment in the day of Moses. Everything from the rod of Moses and the all the miracles that Moses did to get Israel out of Egypt would be considered some sort of witchcraft and psychic abilities by definition. So as much as we can say that God is the creator of all this, we have to be the discerners of whether it is of God or an illusion of God’s truth by the enemy. Is it not ironic that Moses had the rod and the rod is now considered for witchcraft as a wand. A psychic, (medium) someone who speaks of the future by conjuring up the spirit of the dead. Ezekiel37:1-14 Ezekiel the prophet was told to prophesy to the dry bones to bring them to life that was in the valley. Wouldn’t you consider this conjuring up the dead? Don’t be confused now, because God works in a mysterious way and his wonders to perform.

The trouble that man has with the gift that God gives to us is getting caught up with all the knowledge, wisdom and understanding and forgetting that all these things comes from God and we should not try and play God, but in all things acknowledge Him. Remember for Moses not acknowledging God in the presence of the Israel, he didn’t make it into the promise land (Numbers20:12) This is the balance that we the people need to get to really serve God in spirit and in truth (Mark 12:17) Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s, couldn’t be more clearer. Exodus 20:4,5 I the Lord thy God is a jealous God. God was talking about praising and worshiping graven images or any likeness of anything in heaven, earth, or in the water, he is jealous of. But not the jealous that we as humans have towards one another, the kind in which we want what someone else has, or believe we should’ve been the one to have it not them, but the jealousy of knowing that something is yours but someone else has robbed you of it, or is giving it to someone else. The human term jealous shouldn’t even be used to define what the interpretation of God towards worshipping or praising other things besides him means for jealousy is a flesh emotion and God is a spirit. From the beginning he said, ” I am the Lord your God, which brought you out of the house of bondages by all miracle that was preformed, you should have no other Gods before me.” He is saying you were in trouble and I came to save you, acknowledge it is I who saved you and no other God. I am the one and true God, there’s no other, so don’t even look or try and create any other. God is truth, and everything about him, even to serving and worshipping him has to be in truth.

The question is if God is truth, why create or let untruth exist? I believe that untruth doesn’t exist for God, only for us. It goes back to the fact that we should not have eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, we couldn’t handle it, it was too much for us.(Genesis 2:17) Witchcraft, Tarot card, Mediums (psychic) , Astrologers, Crystal healing, candles, Quija boards. God created all this, could the usage of it come from the person or persons and their intent whether good or evil? I believe that everything is created for a reason and a purpose and nothing ever started out as being for evil. For example, take a look at a baby you could never imagine that this innocent perfect bundle of joy could one day be a murderer, drug addict, thief, prostitute, pimp, or whatever that just go wrong along the path of their life. We are responsible for everything that God gives us and we just have to choose the way in which we are willing to use it whether for good or for evil. For example the catholic churches, with the molesting of the children and heaven knows what else that is being hidden, and not just the catholic churches but other churches also with0 their scandals, homosexuality and whatever else, the police that are suppose to uphold the law are breaking the law themselves, teachers instead of teaching  are sleeping with and having affairs with their students,  all manner of misconduct performed by people that are to be there for our well being. Food, medication, alcohol, drugs that could all serve for our wellbeing are being misused and abused by us.

I know that evil does exist and that there is good in the world, and the Bible says all things work together for our good for those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose,(Romans 8:28) For this reason I believe that true discerning is achieved, when it concerns this matter.

In my life, I have never worried about my age like I have now that I am about to turn fifty years old. In the midst of the most holist of season lent, I was born. I’ve always tried to find out why I was so different compared to all my siblings in terms of my personality, and especially when it came to my faith in God. I’ve always believed that for some people they had to find God, but I was born with Him in me and funny thing is that I knew and felt Him within me all my life (Psalm 22:10 I was cast upon thee from the womb; thou art my God from my mother’s belly). I knew that there was a God and I was so bold in my heart, mind, body and spirit that I never wanted anyone to tell me how or what I should do to serve Him because it really used to upset my spirit. God was my imaginary friend and the name I gave him was Father. Anytime I would feel afraid or someone would hurt me, I would call father and He’d come to me like a bunch of bubble lights as I would call it as a child. Today, I know those bubble lights to be called an orbs. When the lights would talk to me it would dim or get brighter and I would never be afraid. Just talking about this makes me cry, because the bubble lights never left me during all this time. I became a woman, wife, mother, grandmother, but most of all a teacher and witness to the existence of God, who always been within and surrounding me.

I often wondered about the state of mind of my parents, especially my mom. Seeing that I don’t really know my mother, I often wonder if she was a praying person, if she even believed in God when I was conceived? I can’t understand why, but both my parents dysfunctional. I was told that my mom didn’t know that the man my grandmother worked for as a maid  was her father and she was his only child and used to pass by his house every day as he’d look at her, hidden behind the curtain of a window just to see her. This went on until he died, then she found out. My grandmother and my mother never had a good relationship with each other, they fought constantly. My grandmother, like me, had four children with four different men, but unlike me, I don’t know if she was ever married. I was never told if my grandfather was ever married, but he was wealthy, he left his house to my mother and it was a mansion, in the eyes of a child. My father was a spoiled rotten love child of my grandparents, who were childhood sweethearts. My Grandmother Hearty as they called her, because she was so quite spoken and very loving to others, was a compassionate woman. You would never think a man like my father could have ever came from a woman like that. On the other hand, my grandfather, from what I was told was like the devil out of hell. He used to beat up my grandmother very badly (domestic violence), cheated on her with other women, he read bad books about evil and practiced it and drank a lot. I was told that because of my grandfather domestic violence to my grandmother, his parents took my father from my grandmother so she can leave him, for six to nine years, I believe, but she didn’t. By the time my father came back to my grandparents from my great grandparents, he was so spoiled as an only child and wanted everything his way, he became a handful for my grandmother, always acting out of control even though he then had other siblings younger than him. Now my grandfather had a firm hand when disciplining my father and my father claims that because he was the darker of my grandfather children, eleven of them altogether, my grandfather would treat him most unkind and beat him up. My father continues to act like a spoiled child even today. He believes that things must be his way and that the world and his own children owe him. My father, like his father, beat up on my mother and cheated on her with other women. But unlike my passive, loving and compassionate grandmother, my mom would fight my dad back like a man. She was tough and crazy I was told and my father feared her. They would fight real bad and love just the same. No one ever wanted to get involved with their fights because after all the fighting they’d be most loving to one another and my mother always got pregnant again after a big fight.

It was twenty-one days to the big one, 50, when I began writing this but it is now 10 days to the big 5-0 as I finish it. I don’t know why it is so terrifying to me. I can only think that it is because I was able to achieve all that I could have and wanted to do in my life, except being famous and filthy rich so I could have married Michael  Jackson. This is it, I could die now at any time, God can call me home and I am ready to go, but if I come before my Lord, can I really say that I am worthy to be in His presence? Matthew 7:21 Not everyone that say unto me Lord, Lord, shall into the kingdom of heaven. I believe that I was trying to live according to the will of God, but was I? I am not a greedy person, neither am I selfish. I would give my life for someone who would just love to be in the place where I am and have hours counting down to the end of there lives and could not with bold assurance say, ‘I am ready Lord.” I review my life and turning fifty is not an up hill battle in age, it is a up hill battle in wisdom, knowledge and understanding, “how well learned am I?” I am talking about my spiritual being  not my physical body. I don’t want to think of the physical body because it would only get me down. Even just the thought of knowing it is slowly but surely deteriorating in some form or the other, back to its original form, like a baby, as it was in the beginning so shall it be in the end, fragile state. We cannot go back into our mothers womb and get the substance we need to renew it, so we just wait it out like a ripen fruit until it dies, the physical body, there’s no fighting it. I’ve matured in so many ways and still have a lot to learn and teach. I ask  God to please don’t take me until I could say:the meaning of life is!!!

Half a century old. It’ like being a year old again for the first time. Starting a new level in life, it feels like being graded. How can I have accepted all the changes and still able to continue? I don’t like changes, but in accepting the fact that God is in control, I’ve allowed changes to change me.” But by the grace of God, I’d say, if it hadn’t been for the Lord, I really don’t know how I would’ve made it through.” I’s seen people younger and older than I, die, fallen victim to physical and mental illness, suicide, or being killed., and I am still here. All I can say sometimes is: it could of been me. I believe that God has a reason and a purpose for each and every one of our lives. Some of us even serve that purpose in life as well as death, to bring awareness to certain situation in life, for example sickness and diseases, domestic violence, and drinking driving, suicide, etc. I’ve often asked God what is my purpose? But then realizing that everything about life is purpose and meaningful, whether good or bad and there is no limitations.

I am so thankful even for the many days I have to talk myself to get out of bed and rebuke the pains and sickness of my body. I’ve sometimes had to be calling my body forth like Jesus called Lazarus out of the grave, lol. It is literal to say as scriptures declares, ” the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” With every pain and discomfort, it makes me realize, without it I would of taken my health for granted.

I feel as though right now I am becoming who I was really called to be or, for lack of a better word, created to be. I am trying to put it in words that make sense. I feel as though I have journeyed from my mother’s womb to a realization of the sense of being aware, aware of God, life and it’s joy and sorrows, good and evil, even to the sense of my deep-rooted fears and emotions that I must confront. But the most important thing is for me, the interpreter of human nature, is to not allow myself  to be confused in battling ignorance of the bad behavior of mankind, that somehow will effect me to the point of resentment, bitterness and hatred towards them and not to judge. To know who I am, if the question was to be asked. Somehow God has opened my eyes even brighter that I could see clearly, my ears sharper that I could hear and my mind, body and spirit can work together in one accord. I feel like I have more accuracy in dealing with life with profound wisdom, knowledge and understanding. I can’t and shouldn’t look back at anything in my life as a regret or failure. Scriptures declare all things works together for good. (Romans 8:28) And also for me to except the fact that when I was a child I did things as a child and now that I have grown I have to put away childish ways.(1Corinthians13:11) “I AM BLESSED.”