No longer shall I live in regrets of my life, of the things I’ve wished for, that I could have and, should have done or been. I accept who I am, who’s I am and embrace myself in love and respect for who God has created me to be and I honor it. Yes I do despise the evil that some of us do, but I have the  understanding of it. Psalm 51:5 Behold I was shape in iniquity and in sin did my mother conceived me. But Jesus paid the price for me on the cross and now I am free.

I know if I live with bitterness within me. I will see the world as such and I will be filled with rage and I will be fighting everything and everyone, even the good that would come into my life. There will be no discerning in my life to know the truth, just drowning in confusion. But if I live with love within me I would find the peace and love of God which passes all understanding. Philippians4:7

I’ve learned that I am no perfect, don’t get me wrong, I am only human. I am not all that strong. I make mistakes sometimes I’ve cried. But God knows how hard I’ve tried.

I was on a journey that I had to make alone, without family or friends I had to make this alone. I could hear them crying out, ‘who does she think she is, why did she have to go, did we do something wrong?’ The judgement and the bickering started. I was hurting to hear the things that were being said about me especially with the love I have for each and every one of them. I couldn’t allow myself to be distracted, so I kept on moving forward in fasting and praying. I then started to feel hungry, thirsty, weary and faint. So I turned back for the things that I was yearning for, family and friends, only to realize that  where I was going, they couldn’t go. Like when Jesus had said to his disciples in John 13:36 “where I go you can’t follow me now, but later you will.” They all were my stumbling blocks and barriers to my journey, because my heart was in too deep where they were concerned and I had to loosen the bonds.

For the first time in my life, I got a glimpse of what death was all about, when you have to let go of your love ones. People would always want you to be around, but to serve their purpose . My questions were, “why are you sad because I went away? What have you done or what have you been in my life to serve a purpose for me? What would you do if I were yet still here? Why waste your tears, when you didn’t even care when I was present?”  You tore me down when I needed to be lifted up. I began to see the love hate relationship that we were in and instead of it being about you, I had to go on this journey to find out about us.

In Matthew 10:34-37 when Jesus said, ” Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the world, but a sword to set sons against fathers, daughters against their mothers, daughters-in-law against mothers-in-law; a man’s worst enemies will be of his own house. He that love father or mother more than me is not worthy of me and he that love son or daughter is not worthy also.” So we know that friends could never fit in the category of family, and if family is to be put aside for God, then what gives for a friend? When Jesus said, “Greater love has no man than this , than a man lay down his life for his friends.” John15:13, we are made aware that if it were our family, it would be expected, because blood is thicker than water but, as demonstrated when it comes to family versus friends or stranger in certain situations, there is an importance of sacrifice for a friend as well.

I was filled with rage and bitterness over this situation. I was praying to God and said, “I am tired of people. I’ve spend my whole life trying to please, to be liked and accepted. I’ve care about what they think and feel about me” when I heard a voice said, “let love, all your love pull them to where you are, just as my love pulled you to where you are right now, surrounded in my love and presence.” Now I know what it feels like to be resurrected. The love of God embraced me and purged me of all negativity. How I knew this is because I can feel the change in me. The rage turned into patience and the bitterness into compassion, that can only come from God.

God loves us unconditionally and even though we do wrong, his intentions is not to destroy us, but to redeem us.

It doesn’t matter, she was a woman. It didn’t mean a thing whether she was Mary, Martha’s sister from Bethany or Mary Magdalene. She could have even been the woman with the issue of blood who touched the hem of Jesus cloak (Matthew9:20), the woman that Jesus said, “thou art loosed from your infirmity” (Luke 13:12) or even the prostitute that they wanted to stone after being caught in the act of adultery (John 8:1-11). She could have been the Samaria woman at the well that Jesus asked for water who said he was a Jew that she shouldn’t even be talking for Jews had no dealings with the Samaritans (John 4:7-9) or the Canaanite woman who’s daughter had a demon and was in terrible condition that came to Jesus for help whom his disciples wanted Jesus to send her away yet Jesus said he came for the lost sheep of Israel and she fell and worshipped him. Jesus asked the woman, “is it right to take the children’s bread and give it to the dogs?” And she replied even the dogs eat the crumbs which falls from the masters table (Matthew 15:22-27) I would believe that back in those days, all these woman would of been considered a sinners, because these kind of things would only happened to you, if you’ve sinned.

It could’ve been any of the many women in the Bible whom Jesus has touched by delivering them from some real bad situations or just a strange woman who heard about Jesus and all that he was doing and loved and appreciated him for it, or someone who simply needed healing. And just like the woman with the infirmity (Luke 13:12), Jesus saw her and called her to him, she didn’t physically reach out to him, but her heart and mind did. The woman saw or heard about Jesus and she boldly came to him. This woman was accused of adultery, simply because of the change that took place in her after Jesus’ touch. Her boldness, from being ashamed and fearful for her life, to walking into a place where she was not invited and be judged for her action in a time when a woman touching a man who was not your husband was not accepted, to stand accused of adultery, to have her life spared from being stoned; she was not making a sacrifice, she was honouring Jesus with love and adoration for all that he was doing. The Alabaster box, to anoint him, her tears to wash his feet and her hair to wipe his feet.

This woman is the representation of how all of humanity should be like toward God. When Jesus mention in Matthew 26:13″Verily I say unto you, wherever this gospel shall be preached in the whole world, there shall also this, that this woman hath done, be told for a memorial of her.” The action of this woman was important to remember for Jesus’ sake, because only God alone knows what Jesus was feeling and going through emotionally at the time this woman showed up. She was the light that in his darkness, his strength in his weakness to carry him to the cross with her love. “His hour was coming,” he said, “she was preparing him for his burial.” Jesus had touched so many lives with his healing, teachings, feeding and even bringing the dead back to life. This woman is now the one to touch Jesus in his time of need, she was comforting Jesus. We sometimes don’t realize the importance to give back to someone, whether they need it or not, but just the show of appreciation in our actions deeds and words can make a lot to difference in a givers life. We can’t always expect to receive and never give back.

What we fail to realize is that, in the Bible, it sometimes tries to portrait Jesus as being invincible and all powerful. But as powerful and invincible as Jesus is, he does have emotions and, where man is concerned, he is very vulnerable. Being around humans is contaminating, and if animals could talk, they would tell us. There’s something about the flesh that weakens us. Here are some examples of Jesus showing emotion: Matthew 9:36 When Jesus saw the multitudes, he was moved with compassion on them, because they fainted, and were scattered abroad, as sheep having no shepherd. Matthew 14:13-20 Jesus was sadden by the death of John the Baptist and wanted some alone time, but the people followed him and when he saw them, he was moved by compassion towards them and healed their sick. It was late and his disciples wanted him to send the people away for them to go get something to eat and Jesus fed the multitude by blessing five loaves and two fishes and giving it to them to eat. Matthew 21:12 Jesus went into the temple and drove out all those who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the moneychangers and the stools of those who sold pigeons. Matthew 26:36-42 Jesus in a place called Gethsemane, where he took three of his disciples with him to watch with him because his soul was exceedingly sorrowful and he went a distance to pray and cry out to his father  and every time he returned his disciples was asleep. He’d ask them why can’t you keep watch with me one hour; watch and pray that they enter no into temptation, the spirit is will but the flesh is weak.

To me, this woman was symbolic for nurturer. Ironically, Eve was blamed for the sin of man by giving Adam the apple to eat, but it was not her fault, it showed her innocence and nurturing nature and the wickedness of the tempter that caused them to sin. Because what this woman has done by coming to Jesus in the midst of ridicule in her boldness was to allow the devil to know that not this time would you let me fall short of the glory of God. To me, this was a restoration and a recovery to women in the kingdom of God, and no longer would women be seen or portrayed as a villain. Eve had prepared Adam (man) for death and now this woman was preparing Jesus (the son of man) for resurrected death.

All of Jesus’ disciples were men that he, Jesus, opened up to about who he really is and what he represents. Like Adam, they had forsaken him (GOD); tried to make excuses and contemplated in their minds what was taking place with the woman in his presence. And Judas, he was like the devil himself envious of the love attention Jesus was given, as the devil was envious of the love and attention God had given to Adam and Eve. Judas was insinuating that Jesus was not worthy of the Alabaster box the poor is more worthy and worthy of cause (Matthew 7-11). Was this the first time that Jesus had ever put himself before man, or was it about a condition of man? When he said, “for you have the poor always with you; but me you have not always.” People can confuse this interpretation, so we have to be careful of our understanding of it. Jesus is saying I am here to love, heal, teach, feed and touch you. When I am gone it wouldn’t be the same, you are going to have to get these things, by faith, not by sight. But I am here now so when you touch me, I can touch you back physically and spiritually, call out to me so you can see I respond to you, love on me while I am still here to receive it with all of your heart and mind so I can take this love and send it back to you.

For everyone that Jesus had touched or touched him, a part of him (virtue) was placed into them. The people back in those days, like this woman, didn’t need to be baptised. Jesus’ touch was their baptism, the renewing of their spirit. Maybe they did get baptised after, who knows, just to walk like Jesus did. It is believed that Mary and Jesus were the new Adam and Eve, but I believe that this woman considered a sinner unlike Mary the virgin, (innocent, undefiled, spotless) is the new Eve of restoration.

I also believe that this woman with the Alabaster box, embodies the term as it was in the beginning so shall it be in the end. Just as the angel had gone to the shepherd in the field to announce to them the birth of Jesus in the city of David, maybe she was sent also to Jesus, no different than Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem on a donkey and all the people cried out, “Hosana in the highest, blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord.” How else would these people be prepared for the entry of Jesus less it come from God himself? I know these things for some reason because this woman is me. God has revealed his truth unto me and there are some people today that I would bring my Alabaster box and wash their feet with my tears and dry them with my hair. Some haven’t even realized how much they have touched my life as they don’t even know me. Some of these people are Td Jakes and family, Oprah Winfrey, Joyce Meyer, Iyanla Vanzant, Dr. Phil, and Joel Osteen, Dr. Oz just to name a few.

 

 

Love. We take it for granted. Yet should be like a treasure we can all share with one another  and because treasures are so hard to find, we should cherish it forever. Love should not simply be defined as an emotion; emotions can be temporary. 1John 3:18 Let us not love in words or talk, but in deed and in truth. Love making between two should not be confused with loving someone. Making love is not just the unveiling of one’s nakedness to each other and engaging in a sexual act, but rather, it is allowing each other to go into a sacred connection of mind and body for a religious and spiritual purpose. It should be an extension of one’s love for each other in the highest form. That is why sex (intercourse) is not to be done casually, recreationally (booty call) or maliciously among individuals. Love is sacred and a discipline of the mind, body and spirit. I say this because I believe that God created love within us for that purpose and the conflict that we have with love is in our emotions (flesh). The spirit can endure the power of true love, which never dies. We can never embrace love as being energy, a powerful source of our being. Like with God, we cannot touch or see love, there is no tangible evidence other than what is in our mind and that rules our heart. “God is love.” 1John 4:16 We have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwell in love dwell in God and God in him.

The concept of Valentine’s Day puts undue pressure on people to be in that four letter word: Love. Most of the young people of today confuse sex for love or being in an relationship. Being single on Valentine’s Day makes you feel so lonely even when you truly aren’t and have friends and family. It takes you back to puberty when you first discovered you are attracted to someone and you’d try your best to get their attention because you see so many of your friends and people your age in relationships and you’re not. You feel like you’re missing out on something or, like you’ve been cheated. The truth is love is like a garden and it need tending in order to grow and anyone who has ever tended a garden knows it takes a lot of sacrifice and perseverance. Some of us see love like what we see in the movies, with the happy endings, but the movies don’t always convey all truth.

The meaning of Valentine’s day according to dictionaries is a day of romance, exchanging of cards, candies, gifts and flowers to a sweetheart. Valentine’s day is celebrated all around the world as a celebration of love and relationship created by companies who saw an opportunity to make money. It is much like Christmas which should be the celebration of Christ birth, but instead it is about businesses making profit. Consequently, some people are spending what they don’t have on gifts to impress or be liked and with an expectation to give and receive. To society, both of these things should exemplify the true meaning of love. But we are wrong about that. We are also wrong when we accept or expect material things for love. 1Corinthians Let all that you do be done in love, so even if you are given something materialistic it should be given with love. Showing love doesn’t have anything to do with material things, material thing are an easy way to try to account for not being physically and emotionally present but it is not the same. Romans 13:8 Owe no man anything, but to love one another.

The biblical meaning of love, 1Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on it’s own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong doing, but rejoices with truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things.

So let your Valentine’s Day be, not so much about being in a relationship or wanting to be in love, but reflecting on the love you already have and to give it to other like yourself who don’t want to be alone or feels lonely; it doesn’t have to be to your sweetheart. Luke 6:38 Give and it shall be given unto you. God is going to send you someone, the right help mate. Genesis 2:18 And the Lord God said, “it is not good that the man should be alone.” Remember you’ve got family and friend and for some, even fur babies, who love you as well as the greatest love of all, the love of God, his love is unconditional. “Why search for love when love is within and surrounds you?”