Matthew5:3-12 Jesus was on the mountain teaching his disciples. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled. Blessed are the merciful for the shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God. Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and say all manner of evil against you falsely for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad for great is your reward in heaven, for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you. God knows that I have lived by everyone of these teachings. I didn’t have to try, it came naturally for me. I believe I was born, and created to be walking like Jesus taught, on the mountain.

God has proven to me, time and time again, that He is the true and living God. Matthew26:38, 39 and 42 Jesus says his soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death. O my father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt. O my father, if this cup may not pas away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done. Jesus you who understand what is like to walk among man. You have witnessed and endured the pain and suffering man is cable of inflicting on one another. The  pain and suffering you endured on the way to Calvary, has it changed your mind on what you’ve once taught about dealing with humanity? Because like you Jesus when you know that the enemies were after you, you broke, and you cried out to your father for help,  I am crying out to you for help now Lord. Fear, pain and anguish have also taken hold of me for following your way. Take this crown of thorns from my head and the many daggers out of my heart. I am not in this battle for myself or to be glorified, but to do your will and serve you. Some also appreciated it, and others also ridiculed and hated me for caring and doing good, that which came naturally for me to do, because of you. When it is said, that the battle is not mines, but yours Lord, only now have I understood. It was you all the time with me, that had enabled me to do the things that I’ve done, like showing compassion, humility, understand, love, forgiveness, healing, teaching, to stand strong and firm in faith and so much more that I could feel without your presence within my life or should I say with the enemy trying to prevent your presence in my life, I am stuck and I become as wild beast(man eater and I mean it literally) raging out of control, I find myself having no patient or understanding for humanity, including my own weaknesses, fighting within and without, over it.

David has written in Psalms 30:5 Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. ” Why is my morning not coming Lord, why am I feeling forever abandon to the night?” I am praying that you Lord will deliver me, deliver me from the torment of my mind and the constant piercing in my heart over the wickedness and evil of humanity. When the chains of this bondage I feel is finally broken, I know that you are on your way. I am trying my very best to hold on at a very perilous times, for faith in this millennium. “I am my brothers and sisters keeper and a child of God.”

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I’ve been feeling very troubled lately about the going on in the world. I thought I was the only one feeling this way, but I now know that I am not. I am tired of doing the right thing while everybody else doesn’t care. I’ve wanted to make sure I dot the I and cross the T, with no room for error. I have been trying so hard to be perfect in an unperfected world itself, “God help me.” I feel like a change wanting to take place and I am having problems allowing it within and surrounding me. For example, learning to say no, and not feeling bad about it, to stop trying to do God’s job has been a struggle because for some reason I want to save the world. I feel tried though as if this is a fight for my soul. It is said, “be not weary in well doing,” but I am more than weary, I am burnt out, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I get angry at other people telling me how much they are tired of well doing and ask them how have they contributed to helping someone today just for kindness and for the greater glory of God, they can’t answer because in their heart it was about them and what they got out of it. Today in this world 2 Timothy3 The last days there will be difficult times. People will be selfish, greedy, boastful, and conceited; they will be insulting, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, and irreligious; they will be unkind, merciless, slanderers, violent, and fierce; they will hate the good; they will be treacherous, reckless, and swollen with pride; they will love pleasure rather than God; they will hold to the outward form of our religion, but reject its real power. keep away from such people. (But what are you to do when some of those people are of your own household?) Don’t let them contaminate your spirit, pray. Some of them go into people’s houses and gain control over weak women who are burdened by the guilt of their sins and driven by all kinds of desires, women who are always trying to learn, but who can never come to know the truth. These people are opposed to the truth, people whose mind do not function and who are failures in the faith, but will not get very far, because everyone will see their stupidity.

Everything about these people is not what you’d want to be to get in God’s good grace, but they create balance, because whenever you’re for peace someone wants a war, whenever you try do good, evil presence its self. Learning to let go and let God do his work sometimes is the only way to handle it, and the balance is in wisdom of acknowledging of that, when certain things are out of your control. Luke21:8-17 Jesus said there would be false Messiahs coming don’t follow them, wars and revolution, it would not mean that the end is near, countries will fight each other, kingdoms will attack one another, there will be terrible earthquakes, famines, and plagues everywhere, there will be strange and terrifying things coming from the sky, Christians will be arrested and persecuted, handed over to be tried and put in prison, you will be brought before kings and rulers for his name sake and you will tell the Good News. Don’t worry about how to defend yourself, because you will be given words and wisdom that no enemy will be able to refute or contradict. You will be handed over by your parents, your brothers, your relatives, and your friends, and some of you will be put to death. Everyone will hate you because of me, but not a single hair from your head will be lost. Stand firm, and you will save your self. 2Timothy2:3 Take your part in the suffering, as a loyal soldier of Christ Jesus.

There is nothing hidden anymore; the truth has been revealed, God’s truth not ours and as we stand in judgment before Him, it is better that we didn’t know than we do know. Because God is a reader of heart and mind you can’t lie to him. God went out all the way to provide us with the truth. He has sent signs and miracles, messengers, prophets, and priest. John 8:32 You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free. John 1:17 truth came by Jesus. The revealing of God’s truth exploded even into the millennium now we stand as Christians, after almost two thousand years for those who has eyes to see could see and ears to hear is hearing.

God is asking us to stay strong throughout all what is going to take place before Jesus returns. Matthew 7:21-23 Not everyone who calls me “Lord, Lord” will enter the Kingdom of heaven, but only those who do what my Father in heaven wants them to do. When the Judgment Day comes, many will say to me, “Lord, Lord!” In your name we spoke God’s message, by your name we drove out many demons and performed many miracles!” Then God would say to them, “I never knew you. Get away from me, you wicked people!” I would not want to be one that God says, ” get away from me for, I know you not.” If there is something in you that is making you afraid of God’s rejection then you’re not doing what God want you to. Remember God never gives us more than we can handle Matthew11:30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

I feel like I am fight to stay on the right path. It is a battle field to stand in God’s truth when everyone around you isn’t, it is not their priority and there’s always something coming up against you. 2Timothy 3:12-13 Everyone who wants to live a godly life in union with Christ Jesus will be persecuted; and evil persons and imposters will keep on going from bad to worse, deceiving others and being deceived themselves. If you’re not a person of strong faith in our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ unlike Job are you going to curse God to die. There is so much more distractions, and temptations that the devil uses to get you off course in your faith, like for me it’s been my health, children, family, and friends, and if you don’t have the strength to put up a good fight in faith then evil wins. It is worst now than then, in the days after Jesus’s death. But for some reason I feel like we are given an even better weapon than back in those days and it is faith. We have never seen, but just have to believe. The Holy Ghost, our comforter is truly with some of us. We are in a different kind of warfare, unlike anything before.

Genesis 2:17 But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it, for in the day that you eat thereof you shall surely die. “Death of what?” our innocence, of only knowing that which is pure, righteous and good?  The understanding that with God our provider and protector, we would lack for anything. In the Bible man didn’t lack anything until they ate of  the forbidden fruit tree. The devil does exist, he is the hater and divider between man and God.

“Sin, what is it sickness, labour for what you want in life, contraction pain during labour, poverty, anything that can cause pain, fears and suffering, death, could it be considered an out of control action, or is it also evil?” Paul wrote in Ephesians 6:11, 12 Put on the whole armour of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil, for we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Jesus was the one who stopped Paul on the way to Damascus from going to prosecute his followers and changed him that he too became a follower. Paul I believe got his wisdom, knowledge and understanding from Jesus, to have been able to change, not just his life around but from being a prosecutor of the follower to becoming a follower himself. It took the power of the almighty to witness and touch his soul in a way that he, Paul can now acknowledge that he was fighting or prosecuting Jesus’s followers because of the principalities, powers, rulers of the darkness of this world, and spiritual wickedness in high places. “Who could have revealed that to him, but Jesus?”

So what is it that Paul teaches us when it comes to evil? Evil is not about fighting against a physical body, but a force beyond our control that comes from a place of cruelty and hatred toward our existence in this world. Spiritual wickedness is the mockery of all things God consecrated as spiritual and truth. The devil mimics it to deceive and confuse man, that anything God can do, he the devil can also do. There are people who choose evil over good and consider it a religion, a sort of a belief to practice, to call on the dark and evil forces to give them control in the world along side what is know as the prince of darkness himself the devil. I now understand by what authority he, the devil was given his ruling in this world, other than he stole it when he manipulated Eve to eat the apple.

Jesus took it back when he was crucified and resurrected, I believe, because Paul told us in Ephesians 6:13-18 Just how to defeat the devil. Where for take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, (your loins is the hips and lower abdomen regarded as a part of the body to be clothed or as the region of strength and procreative power. To girt your loins means to get ready to do something difficult or strenuous.) So when we are told to girt our lions with truth, the truth is that God is real and we are worship no other. Having on the breastplate of righteousness ( all that Jesus has revealed unto us as the will of God.) And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace.(feet shod means wearing lor putting on shoes, and if it is on your feet you automatically know we have to not only wear shoes but walk in it also.) Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.(the word faith here is used not for things that we are wanting and hoping for, but refers to our belief in God, as a protection all around us from the fiery darts of the wicked. Jesus is the son of God that overcame the devil and through faith, he is our protector. The fiery darts is a metaphor for the hell fire pointed directly at you, which we cannot see with carnal eyes, but rather with spiritual eyes. I describe it as a strong emotion like hate, and resentment that can pierce right through you. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God. (helmet of salvation is to keep in mind all that Jesus has come on the earth to do for us.) Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the spirit, watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints.( prayer and supplication in the spirit means to ask humbly for your request in prayer, focusing only on the things of God not that which is in the world.) Watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints, means this is not about you, it’s about all others like you who are fighting the same fight, you all have to be on guard, support one another, despite the difficulties you may have to face be determine, with humility continue in prayer.

When people claim that there’s no such thing as a ghost. What they fail to realize is that Jesus was the first ghost mankind has ever seen. He was crucified, died then resurrected and was walking around the earth for forty days and was seen by his followers. Matthew 27:50-53 Jesus again gave a loud cry and breathed his last. Then the curtain hanging in the Temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split apart, the graves broke open, and many of God’s people who had died were raised to life. They left the graves, and after Jesus rose from death, they went into the Holy City, where many people saw them.  Here come devil mimicking God, with his own imposter ghosts frightening innocent people and controlling their mind with all kind of fear. Evil which is what I considered to be deception illusion of truth displayed by the devil, to destroy mankind relationship with God.

Why didn’t God just kill the devil I always thought to myself, or was the book of Job God’s way of telling us, that devil existence became part of His plan for humanity when Satan put a challenge to God that he could influence his faithful servant Job to curse him to die, if he does whatever he wants to him except touch his soul, Job1:6-12. Why did God allow Satan such a privilege?  Did God realize this in the Garden of Eden or was it when Cane had slain his brother Abel, because he didn’t kill Cane either? Yet he destroyed all of humanity except eight; Noah and his family. But then the question would be also, why when Adam and Eve ate of the forbidden fruit, who was before warned not to by God and did eat, why didn’t God kill them and the devil right there and  then and just started over? But then that got m thinking, what if there was no such thing as evil good or bad, because as the scripture says Romans 8:28 all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.

I was once told that you don’t have to believe in evil for it to affect you anyway. It was also mentioned to me that the only reason I would say evil exists is because I believe in a God. Belief in God automatically places me in the religious category. If I believe in God, it is often assumed that I must also believe in the devil. “No God, no devil.” This is not true at all, because I believed in God but I didn’t believe in evil. I couldn’t conceive in my mind that God would ever let anything evil happen to people. It was never God’s fault; from the beginning of time, it was all about obedience. If Adam and Eve had listened to God, we wouldn’t be in the kind of world we live in today. So if you’re obedient to God and try to live like Jesus, by following his examples and teachings, nothing bad would or could ever happen to you. Jesus died for us and resurrected, so he protects us at all times and he promised never to leave us comfortless[John14:18]

My dad would always say, “in this world there is negative and positive, that is what brings balance, neither can exist without the other.” He would always try to educate me about the paranormal. Especially when we’d watch a horror movie, he’d always say things like, “this sort of thing does happen for real.” The worst for me, was the movie the exorcist with Linda Blair in the seventies. The visual effects and dramatics was so vivid it strongly affected my imagination to the point that I went to bed for a while after seeing the movie terrified that demons can come after me and possess me too. I believe that my faith in God grew stronger than any other child in the world I would say, because I learnt every prayer of protection in the Bible and read the Bible every day faithfully. My dad was so superstitious, he would say things like,” walk in backward when you come home after midnight, because evil spirits will follow you in your house, don’t let a black cat cross your path at a certain time of the night, keep a metal horse shoe over your door for protection and luck of the home” to me as a child and all kinds of other crazy stuff. The worst is that witchcraft and things like voodoo do exist. People can take your picture, clothing and hair and put a spell on you. I did not believe and refused to believe him, that these kind of things can happen. I thought it was impossible.

It wasn’t until I was a grown woman living on my own, that I’ve experienced the paranormal and believed. All of the time when bad things happened to me in my life, I never saw it as being evil, I always thought it was my lack of obedience to God’s will for me. Truly in my heart I believed this, because nothing ever happened to me that God didn’t fix in my life especially when I’d pray. Evil was revealed to me for the first time when I met this woman who for some reason singled me out of every body else just to hate me and find faults in me that I didn’t know even see or know I had. I has been following a friend’s lead for the first time in my life to go and get what they call a reading by a physic. Again, I could say this happened to me because I was disobedient as I had a vision as a child at the age of twelve an angle came and said to me, “never have your future be told to you by anyone, if there is anything you need to know pray and God will reveal it to you, in dreams and visions.”

It was at a vulnerable time in my life where everything was going wrong and I’ve been praying and I just didn’t wait on the lord for answers this time, I was a little impatient for it, and boy was I ever sorry I didn’t wait on the Lord. I had thought that I was going through problems, well it only begun when I went to that woman. Because I was very naïve I always trusted my friend and people who where older than I. My friend was older than me and I always went to her for advice and she’d never guided me wrong. But for the first time it was like her advice took me to hell and back. This woman was as evil as the witches you see on television. I would see her in my dreams coming to hurt me and then one of my friends who knew her said, ” I don’t know this woman too well, but you do, and for so long, she says things about you with a hate that if I didn’t know you, I’d believe her, stay away from her please. Her intentions towards you is really bad, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”  Anyone who really knew how fragile, God fearing,humble, loving and compassionate person I am would know how much hearing someone hating on me would destroy my spirit. I am not saying that all physic readers are evil and people should not go to see them, but for me it is forbidden and I was told. I had no excuse, that I couldn’t even find myself blaming the woman personally, I was putting the blame to myself first. Apparently she wanted me to join her in what she was doing, I went there for a reading of my future not to join at the time what was considered a cult of some sort. She was good at what she did, certain things she told me about what was going on in my life had convinced me, she was truthful in her knowledge and I was ever so afraid of her because of it. One day she called me up and said, ” I know what you’re doing and thinking” she’d threaten me that she could hurt me in a way that no one would be able to help me. Ironic enough the same older woman who got me in this situation brought a Man of God, really that was his name in the church and he came to help me get away from this woman and that day she knew he was there. She’d called me cursing at me, using all kind of profanities. This brought back to my mind the things that my father always tried to warn me about that is possible like that people can take your picture, clothing even to where you are living and put spells on you, to control, hurt you and cause evil in your life. Like in the exorcist demon can come after to you. I was so terrified, as I was after seeing the movie the exorcist. I’d trusted this woman about every personal and important things about my life. I was accused by her of being a spy coming to learn her ways to destroy her, “what,” I thought to my self, is this woman crazy, a spy for whom?” My spiritual mother woke up to find blood all over her door and a dead animal with all kind of smelly oils on it. How did she knew who and where my spiritual mother lived to this day is a mystery. This woman was to me some sort of a demon, I would hear things moving around in my apartment at night when it was just me. This apartment complex was one of the most cleanest, well maintained place you’d ever seen, all of a sudden after living there for years we got infestation of bugs. My life was being played out like what’s in a horror movies, and I lived it, “it was real!” When I saw all the things that she was capable of doing I was ever so afraid for my life and my family’s, that once again I dove deeper into my faith in God. Not only did I read the Bible, I fasted, prayed and went to church. All of this is one of the reasons I became a prayer warrior. The first time I’d met her, she had warned me that I would be talking about her for the rest of my life. She’d took one look at me and said, “you can’t survive in this world like this you are going to die, it will eat you up, you’ve got to be strong.” I could have never seen it coming, because when she had said that to me, it was with such compassion, I cried, cause I knew exactly what she was speaking about, I was a push over and can easily be broken and it was the thing that had me so down. It was like she saw how naïve and fragile I am. I always thought to myself, was she part of God’s plan for me, she came across as some who really had meant well for me.

The man of God[Jesus I believe him to be] came once again as a deliver for me out of my troubles. He said, “Whom, do you fear, God or man?” and my reply was, ” man, because their fist I can see God’s I can’t.” He even started to scare me, when he began telling me all that God had design for my life and the reason I was going through what I was is because I have a calling on my life that I have to fulfill to find true peace and happiness. They are after you for what you possess, “who are they, and what in Jesus name do I possess?” I was so angry and fed up about all this hocus-pocus foolishness, I didn’t want to hear another word. He then looked at me and said, ” go outside and pick me up some flowers and then come back.” I told him ” this is a apartment complex there is no garden here.” I lived in the place for so long and never realized that there was flower garden in front of every one of the apartment building complexes. Was God showing me in some ways that I do not pay attention to  things, the little that can be very significant to my life or my well being. Like the flowers, they must of just planted them there recently I thought, cause I never saw them before ever and if I didn’t need or wasn’t sent to get them I would not have realized it was there. So then how much more things in my life unless I am in need, just happened to encounter or is right before me but I can’t see or even realize it exist.

When I arrived back home from getting the flowers, my attitude was change, I felt at peace and not angry any more. The man of God was sitting in the living room speaking to my friend. He look at me and said, “put the flowers in a vase and bring it to me with a light candle. I always kept candles in case of blackout or storm. So I got him the candle placed it on the coffee table with the flowers and he said a prayer and told me, ” take in the light.” I thought he meant physically to take the light I had lit in the candle holder on the table, but he said, “no don’t touch it”. He wanted me to take the light within my spirit, close my eyes and visualize myself drawing light into my spirit like I would inhaling my breath,” and I did. I saw the light like tiny bits of dust coming into my body and then surrounding me he said another prayer. That was it he said to me,” the next time I see you, I am going to bring you a Bible.” I never saw him again and didn’t even get the Bible. But there was something about his presence that stuck with me always in every aspect of my spiritual growth. This man never asked for anything, not even a donation for his time, nothing, and I realized with him saying that he would bring me a Bible, I’d gotten free Bibles from different religious groups that was soliciting their religions at my door. He was someone special, that mysterious Man of God.